View Full Version : Got a card. No letter. Should I Be Happier?


mrs.battsiii
06-02-2008, 03:37 PM
i don't want to sound like an ingrate... but i got a card in the mail today. no letter, just a card. i dunno, i was hoping for some response to my 6 or 7 letters deep of mine that he has...

do any of you ever have a "whatever" kinda let down feeling when you just get a card and you are used to 6 pagers a couple times a week?

i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack???

robs_angel
06-02-2008, 05:23 PM
He might be working on the reponse to your letter, and just popped that card in the mail so you would have mail instead of a yukky no mail day
stay strong

EightZeroFive
06-02-2008, 05:25 PM
A card is better then nothing :)

spbabie112
06-02-2008, 05:32 PM
Well, let me say that I always write more than my friend does...I think it's a guy thing lol don't be upset. At least he writes you at all. Like robs angel said, maybe he is working on your letter and sent the card until then.

Isweoriswenot
06-02-2008, 07:48 PM
i don't want to sound like an ingrate... but i got a card in the mail today. no letter, just a card. i dunno, i was hoping for some response to my 6 or 7 letters deep of mine that he has...

do any of you ever have a "whatever" kinda let down feeling when you just get a card and you are used to 6 pagers a couple times a week?

i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack???

You said you was waiting on a response from your 6 or 7 page letter? Maybe he will write you later on in the week. Had to get that card to you first you know, then write you the letter later on.:)

aztheride
06-02-2008, 09:00 PM
It's not a guy thing, I just sent off a 6 page letter to my girl and that's not even handwritten, that's 6 pages typed! I think I would be pretty bummed if she sent me a card as a reply, but like others have said, it sure as heck beats finding an empty mailbox!

aries6871
06-03-2008, 05:24 AM
I think getting a card is great!! I'd send back a nice card saying how much you liked his card, thank him for it, let him know how happy you were to recieve it, and mention how very much you are looking forward to getting a letter from him. Let him know that his letters mean a lot to you and let him know you are soooo looking forward to getting one from him. It will make him feel important that someone is really looking forward to hearing from him.

Aisling
06-03-2008, 02:35 PM
We used to send letters and cards separately.
I wasn't able to write much for a few days and I only sent a card.
He told me that he was kind of bummed to not get extra words with the letter.
For me though... I'm happy to get the card even without a note. I like to know that I'm always in his thoughts. A lot of times.. he'll write in the card something like "wanted to make sure this goes out today, letter on the way."
And I think it's really cute!

hopeful64
06-03-2008, 05:36 PM
Been there hun. Yes I get mixed emotions when I get a card instead of a letter when I sent one with needed responses. Now I will say "responsed needed asap" and he mostly will hear this. Until one day recently I was like did ya get any mail today, he was like yea a got a card. The tone was like he was let down too. Expectations are killer. ;) BTW, glad to c ya back, not sure y ya had to go however its all good, peace Hope
i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack??? This may apply also. Give him some time thats your husband I am sure he will get with ya. If not you know how to handle yours, ya know they get distracted ;)

LeesyAdams
06-03-2008, 05:51 PM
I think it drives them crazy when we're so hyper-sensitive (I'm not saying you are...just commenting in general) about things like this. Sometimes I think they back off a little for no reason other then to take a break from our non-stop-deep-emotional writing...which for us isn't stressful it's fun. But just like when they're home and we're talking away and they sort of tune us out for a bit?? I think that's what they do with the letters sometimes.

Anyway...just a thought. :):)

timsbaby41
06-03-2008, 05:59 PM
actually its the other way around,i would send him cards all the time then he told me that " i would rather have a quick note in your words" so thats what he gets

robertegarrett
06-03-2008, 09:33 PM
Inmates cant go the local CVS or RiteAid and buy writing paper, envelopes, stamps whenever they want Maybe the commisarry was out, and that was the best he could do.
Different sides of the razor wire often require different perspectives. Cut him a break, at least for now, and dont hyper.

robertegarrett
06-03-2008, 09:42 PM
Wow, GiaElise, you summed up in very succent words my sentiments!!!! Excellent post and observation.
The first year my wife was in BOP, it was all very serious and gushy letter stuff. I missed her, and still do, totally, but sustaining that level of written correspondence constanlty conveying missing can just add to the spouses depression.. That became very counterproductive.
I think it is a human progression, but one I suggest you make. I talk now more of the uplifing "when you are home" and not so much the cryiing over "wish you were here."

desertmoonwoman
06-04-2008, 12:33 AM
I love the cards I get! I always feel bad that he spends money on buying a card when he could have had something for himself!

Waiting4Mike
06-04-2008, 01:03 AM
I'd be happy with anything, but I do really love to read page after page of his handwritten words. =)
A couple of weeks ago, I got an odd shaped envelope in the mail from Mike. When I opened it, I saw there was some kind of card in with a letter. I pulled out the card first and I wish I could have seen my expression when I saw it. He hadn't written anything on it, but it was a birthday card, and my birthday is in December. (7 months away!) I was totally confused and a bit let down thinking he had no idea what season my birthday even happens. Then, I read his letter and found that the five envelopes he had in his cell were taken because they didn't have his name and inmate # on them, so in order to write to me, he had to buy a card from the chaplain. I wish I could have kissed him when I read that part.

hopeful64
06-04-2008, 02:54 AM
Quote: I talk now more of the uplifing "when you are home" and not so much the cryiing over "wish you were here." Me 2 at this point

24jf
06-04-2008, 07:22 AM
I used to get disappointed when I received nothing more than a card, however, over the years I've come to look at it this way... something is better than nothing at all!

I know you're looking forward to a response to your letter so why don't you write him and thank him for thinking of you and let him know that you are eagerly waiting to receive his response to your letter.

Sylvia
06-05-2008, 09:32 AM
My son and I both get depressed at times and don't feel like writing. So I told him if he doesn't feel up to writing a letter just a card to let me know he is OK. So I send him 5 cards in his stationary package so he has some to send me.

Csmcgrl23
06-05-2008, 10:07 AM
i don't want to sound like an ingrate... but i got a card in the mail today. no letter, just a card. i dunno, i was hoping for some response to my 6 or 7 letters deep of mine that he has...

do any of you ever have a "whatever" kinda let down feeling when you just get a card and you are used to 6 pagers a couple times a week?

i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack???

I so feel you! I used to feel disappointment when I'd get a card and not a letter, sure cards are sweet but he always wrote less in a card than he did in a letter...so I'd be bummed right away. LMAO. I'd never say anything and I really did love the cards...which has been the one thing he's sent me since being home...cards. LOL. How Ironic is that? I know how you feel and it's just how you feel, it's not bad...it's just how you feel!

mrs.battsiii
06-06-2008, 12:45 PM
THANKS Y'ALL!

i got 2 letters wednesday, can we say foot in mouth... and 2 pictures, too.:o he even crammed 7 pages in an envelope (the weight limit is usually 6). we talked later that evening and he said they were on the way. he just wanted me to have something for monday.

now i feel like a heel. or as bugs would say... http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/584/584132y6k64dl7px.jpg (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)what a moroon.:rolleyes:

thank you all for your responses.
hopeful- glad to be back!

hopeful64
06-06-2008, 03:02 PM
THANKS Y'ALL!

i got 2 letters wednesday, can we say foot in mouth... and 2 pictures, too.:o he even crammed 7 pages in an envelope (the weight limit is usually 6). we talked later that evening and he said they were on the way. he just wanted me to have something for monday.

now i feel like a heel. or as bugs would say... http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/584/584132y6k64dl7px.jpg (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)what a moroon.:rolleyes:

thank you all for your responses.
hopeful- glad to be back!
I would say just feel good. Gurl I still get it twisted. I am so glad ya got mail. My baby got mail today too in the shu (I hope).

LOWRYDERHYNA
06-06-2008, 11:08 PM
i think we should be happy on what we get. He may have all the time in the world but he also got schedule and program he deals with in there. Who knows maybe he is working on ur letter but in the mean time he wanted something sweet and short to let u know he was thinking of you. Look he even took some time to pick out a card and thinking wow i am sure she will like this.. we can't get it what we want all the time.. appreicate the small things in life.. :thumbsup:

mrs.battsiii
07-06-2008, 02:14 AM
i think we should be happy on what we get. He may have all the time in the world but he also got schedule and program he deals with in there. Who knows maybe he is working on ur letter but in the mean time he wanted something sweet and short to let u know he was thinking of you. Look he even took some time to pick out a card and thinking wow i am sure she will like this.. we can't get it what we want all the time.. appreicate the small things in life.. :thumbsup:


ok, ok, fine. i give. you are right. you are so right. i never thought of it that way.thanks!:thumbsup:

Angelsdelight
07-06-2008, 03:12 AM
i don't want to sound like an ingrate... but i got a card in the mail today. no letter, just a card. i dunno, i was hoping for some response to my 6 or 7 letters deep of mine that he has...

do any of you ever have a "whatever" kinda let down feeling when you just get a card and you are used to 6 pagers a couple times a week?

i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack???

Oh i'm with you. When i've wrote him a few letters & i just get a quick note back & nothing is really acknowledged of what i've wrote him which kinda bugs me, But i tend to cut him slack when i know hes got alot going on. I'm just happy to hear from him rather than get nothing atall.

EmJ
07-06-2008, 10:01 AM
I get sent a card when he's tired or too busy to write straight away and he just wants me to know he got my letter and he will write back as soon as he can.
I do prefer that than nothing at all, I know he's still thinking of me.

happyhabit
07-06-2008, 06:03 PM
I think its so sweet to get a card. Just think, they thought about you enough and care about you enough to spend a little bit of money (Cards aren't cheap in there) to send you something sweet.

StarksGirl
07-06-2008, 07:26 PM
I agree that a six page letter would have been better than a card, but at least you did get something. My guy had me going one day last week, because it was a greeting card envelope, but a 4 page letter was inside of it. I was so happy.

DontFakethefunk
07-07-2008, 01:49 PM
Im just greedy I guess, aprreciative but greedy cause when I just get a card im like " aww i wish there was more" then when i get a ten page letter im still like "aww..i wish there was more" haha

guerre
07-07-2008, 05:18 PM
i don't want to sound like an ingrate... but i got a card in the mail today. no letter, just a card. i dunno, i was hoping for some response to my 6 or 7 letters deep of mine that he has...

do any of you ever have a "whatever" kinda let down feeling when you just get a card and you are used to 6 pagers a couple times a week?

i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack???

I do a lot of writing, and I find that even a moderate amount of stress or depression totally saps my will to put pen to paper (or finger to keys as the case may be).

If he's going through a down phase, it might be hard to write. I wouldn't make him feel more guilty by hammering him with long letters. Maybe he can't keep up with that level of expectation. Also, in the outside world, you have all kinds of novel stimulus (friends, family, the mall, satellite TV, books, magazines, the Internet...) so you have a deeper well from which to draw things to write about. Inside the walls, there's much more monotony, so there's less inspiration. Most of the influences are negative and stressful.

Not to make excuses if he's just lazy or inconsiderate, but there's certainly potential for there being another side to the story.

ILoveJohn
07-08-2008, 12:35 AM
your lock i guess i would settle for a card being that i have mailed out so many letters and have gotten nothign in a long tim!!! haha
butt the last letters i got were a page.. i was like jeez nothing more to say haha
but maybe he just didnt have papper:(
idkk

missingJA07
07-09-2008, 03:37 PM
Oh i'm with you. When i've wrote him a few letters & i just get a quick note back & nothing is really acknowledged of what i've wrote him which kinda bugs me, But i tend to cut him slack when i know hes got alot going on. I'm just happy to hear from him rather than get nothing atall.

I agree...it drives me nuts when I ask him questions that I really want to know the answers to, and he just replies back with a card or completely different things than what I mentioned. But I get over it...I figure I'll just find out when I see him!

LSB
07-11-2008, 09:50 AM
this is soooo funny! We had a spat over me receiving a card instead of a letter and he flew off the handle and told me I don't appreciate his "little" cards (I never said little cards...)...

see I feel the same way. I'm learning to appreciate my husbands cards but I'm ecstatic to get letters... The first thing I do when I get a letter is get my son all settled for the night, tidy up, take a shower get comfy and snuggle up to his letter and read it. When I get cards, I read them (all of 2 minutes) by the kitchen counter they were sitting on then go on about my night.... :o

VictorsLadii
08-11-2008, 12:46 PM
cards are nice and a good way to hear from your loved one thats in, but in my opinion I like to see a letter inside that card...my man always sends a letter in the cards he sends, hes only send like 4 cards though in all the time we have written eachother...but it shouldnt matter, atleast you kno he thinking about you if he sent you the card, but sometimes we just prefer more communication like in a letter right?? ;) depends how much your man writes, I know my man doesnt write that often anymore becuz moneys tight, but if he sent a card with no letter or anything realy wrote in it personaly from him, it'd suck cuz he doesnt write as often anymore and you want that communication.

skybluewera
08-11-2008, 03:52 PM
MY HUSBAND would do that.And yes I would get upset. But It's better to get a card. Than to get nothing at all. i don't want to sound like an ingrate... but i got a card in the mail today. no letter, just a card. i dunno, i was hoping for some response to my 6 or 7 letters deep of mine that he has...

do any of you ever have a "whatever" kinda let down feeling when you just get a card and you are used to 6 pagers a couple times a week?

i know last week was a big sports week...:rolleyes: so maybe i should cut him some slack???