my nephew was gave 25 years in tennesee for murder.

How old is your nephew? Will he be sent to an adult prison? I'm so sorry for him and your family. Please spend a lot of time with us, letting us support you.

I am so sorry for you and your family. I cant imagine what you must be going through. My son is in again for 26 weeks and I want to die. I hope you keep coming back here. THis is an awesome place to be and I am so grateful to have it. Good luck

Im so sorry for your family

I know what you feel like im going through the same thing with one of my best friends but he is only 13 years old and being sent to an adult prison center every time he leaves his house(he has been sentenced to house arrest)

Im so sorry for your family

I know what you feel like im going through the same thing with one of my best friends but he is only 13 years old and being sent to an adult prison center every time he leaves his house(he has been sentenced to house arrest)i like to thank you all i go to see jerry as much as i can but it is not the same anymore .he has mature so much. i always hear about changing kids minds but after 25 years in prison what is he going to know but prison life if he comes out of it alive. i realy do not what to do for him but visit and show him somebody still loves him. again thank you for beening here

My son was 16 years old when he went to jail and when he turned 17 they shipped him to the adult prison. He is finally coming home March 2 15 days before his 19th birthday.
He started when he was ten years old in the city, I moved away thinking it was the element but to no avail!! I hope he has learned something positive about this but I can say unhappily that he has learned a lot of bad information while in prison. He was in with murders and rapists, drug dealers and bad check writers. He has seen people be stabbed and how to make methanpedamine(?spelling?) in a tub!!! I just wanted him to go to college and be a regular guy. Chances of that are pretty slim unless he REALLY tries hard to start from march2 on a new life!!
I know I will always be there for him and I will always love him no matter what happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa

Hi Lisa! My son has been in trouble since he was 16 also, currently serving two years in NC. Won't get out until Sept. 05. My son will be 20 when he is released, and I know all too well how you feel. I'm so afraid for him. Only time will tell. Does your son have any plans when he gets out? Will he be living with you? He needs to stay VERY busy...school, work, whatever...I'm sure that when my son is released if he doesn't have a plan, or stay busy, he will end up right back in there...and that will kill me. PM me if you need to talk...hang in there
Lisa

I have custody of my God-Son. He has been placed in a residential facility right now. 24-7 lockdown. He is 13 yrs. old, he was stealing, running away, misbehaving in school very badly. The level 3 group homes wasn't helping so he has to be placed in a more secure facility. Plus he is considered a sexual offender. I am thankful that we finally got him placed somewhere that they are giving him anger management and sexual behavior treatment. I really hope that once he leaves these facilities I won't be on here posting that he has been locked in Prison. My heart really goes out to all of you people in here and I hope the best for your kids.

I turned 18 in prison, then 19. Later on I turned 25,26,27.

do not write your name on the jail house wall. step on a crack and break your moms back.

Seems the only rehab that works for sure is to simply keep offender locked up untill he/she is old. Not my thinking. So please, no hate-me mail.

I turned 18 in prison, then 19. Later on I turned 25,26,27.

do not write your name on the jail house wall. step on a crack and break your moms back.

Seems the only rehab that works for sure is to simply keep offender locked up untill he/she is old. Not my thinking. So please, no hate-me mail.

rtee---How old was you when you finally got out? Too late for my God-son for the name writing. He already writes his name on the walls of the facilities where he goes. They had to get on him while we was in court last month because he was writing on a new chester drawer. Said he didn't know why he couldn't. I told him first of all it didn't even belong to him, he was borrowing it. He trys to play duh huh, but he knew what the deal was.
Why do you think the offender should be locked up until he/she is old? I do think it is a sickness and they will offend again. It's like falling off the wagon when someone trys to stop doing drugs. I know I don't trust him to be here, I have 2 small girls.
Hope things are going better for you since you finally got out. Hope things continue to look up for you. Good luck. :wave:
By the way, why would we send you hate-me mail? We are here to support each other.

Wow, having only been out of prison myself for 3 years. It saddens me so much to hear this. I was 33 when I went in. I am not 38. I didn't start getting into trouble intil my early twenties. Then it was probation and rehab. Til the Judge got eneough of me. The 2 year and 7 months on the inside of course was not great. But one day in there was better than my worse day out here (free). And I haven't been back in trouble since coming home.
I used to think that I wish I would of had to serve my time when I was young because it did teach me a good lesson. I am a mother of a 16 and 13 year old. My daughter, tends to sway toward the bad crowds.......(16)
And reading all of this with these children being so young, scares the hell out of me. My on prayer and thought would be, that maybe just maybe, this will be an experience that these children do not choose to live through again. I feel for each of you......hang in there......they are not in the best place there is, but at least you know where they are at night and there off the streets. And if just for that one thing of being on the inside they have a chance to live now....

Good luck. :wave:

Thank you

I went to the D.O.C. when I was 17 and got out at 19 years old. Keeping inmates locked up till their old isn't my idea. Thats just one of those things they noticed. Drug and alcohol addiction is a sickness. Why people steal is the question. I came from a good home. My father bought me a motorbike for my 16th birthday. Less than a year later I stole a car. Go figure?!? I think maybe boredom was my problem. The hate me thing was just a sarcastic joke. Locking one up to rehabilitate him doesn't seem to work. If an animal like a dog or lion kills a human, they will kill that animal. Was it for revenge or to scare other animals? They want to make sure THAT animal will never get the opportunity to kill again. Wonder if that works with humans?!?

Thank you

If an animal like a dog or lion kills a human, they will kill that animal. Was it for revenge or to scare other animals? They want to make sure THAT animal will never get the opportunity to kill again. Wonder if that works with humans?!? I wonder...Like when our dogs bite someone we have them put to sleep. I wonder if that works on humans. Can we just tell these kids if they get involved in drugs we can have them put to sleep??? I dont understand where the negative comes from. But as for me and mine. We pray for all gods children. You are one of them too.
What we need to do is reverse the way they punish. The need to have options available before they are into trouble. They need to know its not acceptable before they get a slap on the wrist.
HERES A THOUGHT: I think all schools from K on up to Grad school should run all year and all military style. With dignity and respect. With rewards and rank. Making all children proud of themselves from the first day of school. This is where the states should be putting their money instead of seeing dollars for keeping offenders in their custody. They need to reverse how they plan these things out and GIVE THE CHILDREN A CHANCE AT A GOOD LIFE....I dont know its just a thought.

I knew a black guy in jail who was nicked named dogbite. A police dog bit him under his arm and left a big scar. Dogbite went to prison and the copdog got himself a bone... goodboy!
I like what the bible tells us. Pay for your crime with work. Your victim gets payed back double or triple. Don't want to get into the details. Need to study the bible to get it right.
Example: You kill (not murder) a man who has a family to support. You would now have to take care of that man's family.
You can spin that for all its worth. Its not my idea. I do know that man can't stop crime.

Your right Rtee. Man can not stop crime but crime can stop man quick cant it? I like where you are going with the whole pay em back double or triple thing. I dont get the comment on the man you knew in prison and what that has to do with how society goes about correcting issues they have with todays children. Maybe its just a dead subject.

Man has no answers. Only God can stop man's rebellion.

-many are called but few are chosen

i am sorry for beening off so long since i have jerry has got his g.e.d and also spent some time in the hole. he puts on an act when we visit or talk on phone but i no it is hard on him. i know there is nothing i can do. i would if i could. i tell him i love him and do the best he can 2 stay out of trouble. but like he says you don't have 2 look it will find you . i just hope he can make it out alive. god bless all you and your familys

God works through his people on earth. Mack, what you're doing is very important, being there for him, letting you know you love him, and encouraging him. The brothers of my foster daughter put on an act with her, but with me, when we aren't so rushed on the phone, sometimes they will say how hard it is. In a letter I got Sat from one of them, he sounds depressed, says it is hard to focus on his goals. He tells me my support is so important to him.

HI Rtee, I read what you write with extreme interest. You were there and are out here now. For us that have loved ones in, I'm sure have many questions, although this site is not for 'how did you make it'...I for one am so puzzled with this whole prison system and rehibilitating. I don't know how some one can 'turn there life around' after so many years of degrading and control treatment. My guy went in at 17, after 4 years of youth homes, etc.. Got out at 30. He's smart, funny, good looking, I never thought he would go back. I will not make excuses for him. He broke the law again and that's that!! I believe that people going in regardless off age have a chance to make it depending on how long there locked up. I think ones mind gets 'programed'.. Sound crazy??? Not anymore crazier than these guys coming out and doing something to put them back into the very place they swore they would never go back too. I don't know your story and it dosen't matter..But what I say to you is stay close to this site. Share with us whats going on. You don't ever have to go back unless your choose to. Gods speed my friend...

hi everyone- well my boyfriend was 15 when he went to jail, today he is 17 and still in jail- they keep moving him to judge to judge. they are trying to give him 10 years. I've been dating him for 2 years. When he went to jail we were only going out 6 months. but we've been thro hell and back. but he seems like he is changing. But only he knows if you is gonna change. but i have faith in him and i will never give up on him.

My son was 14 when he was sent to prison in WA State. His original sentence was 22 years, but was reduced to 12 upon appeal. He is 19 now, and will be 25 when he is released. He lost his adolescence to prison.

noescape

I am so sorry to hear about Jerry and what your family must be going through. My fiance went to prison at 17 1/2 and just turned 34 this past June - he has 3 more years until he goes to the parole board. The one thing that you can do is continue to support him and let him know you are always going to be there for him. One of the most painful things for my fiance was when people stopped being there for him, and when they stopped believing in him.

Some how he has maintained a very positive outlook on life. He did go through some rough times and at times he didn't think he was going to make it. He found things to occupy his time like classes/programs, etc. Maybe Jerry can get into some programs (if they have them).

I know how hard it is to have my fiance in prison, I can only imagine the pain you and his family are feeling. I will keep you, Jerry and his family in my prayers. Continue to support and love him - he has a chance to come home someday just like my fiance. The saddest part about Jerry and my fiance, is that they both went in as boys and will walk out as men.

God Bless you
Lana

I turned 18 in prison, then 19. Later on I turned 25,26,27.

do not write your name on the jail house wall. step on a crack and break your moms back.

Seems the only rehab that works for sure is to simply keep offender locked up untill he/she is old. Not my thinking. So please, no hate-me mail.
My 17 year old son was just arrested for Armed Robbery and Assault and Battery (he was involved in a mugging along with several other kids). In Massachusetts, you are tried as an adult. He has had extensive problems as an adolescent, was committed to DYS, in fact they arrested him at a DYS lock-up. He has only been in DYS facilities and residential programs. He thinks he is very tough and street wise, but I'm afraid that he's not as much as he thinks he is. I've been reading up on sentencing and the like, and it looks like to me that he will do a mandatory 5 to 7 years in State Prison. In fact, they took him to Billerica House of Corrections today because of overcrowding at the jail. He's to be there 10 days then return to Cambridge to await his trial.

Anyway, what I want to know is what to expect for him - my imagination is scaring me to death. What advice can I give him so he can protect himself? He has bipolar disorder, is not taking meds. Someone told me it would be better not to tell anyone that as then they'll just give him thorazine to chemically restrain him - is this true? Do I have to worry about him being raped? He is mixed race, Afr. Am. and Caucasion, and someone else told me tell him to connect with the Muslims for protection - is this true? I'm sorry if I sound silly but I don't know any of these things as I've never had to deal with something like this before.:(

Thanking you in advance.

If you're still here, tell us how your son is, please.

Good, bad, whatever.

Please.

We do care.

abner


i am sorry for beening off so long since i have jerry has got his g.e.d and also spent some time in the hole. he puts on an act when we visit or talk on phone but i no it is hard on him. i know there is nothing i can do. i would if i could. i tell him i love him and do the best he can 2 stay out of trouble. but like he says you don't have 2 look it will find you . i just hope he can make it out alive. god bless all you and your familys

This is hard to handle. The guilt I feel after reading ya'll posts, remind me of what I put my mother thro. I am here to tell you that what your going thro is worse than what us inmates go thro. Sorry if that don't sound right, but all that jail does is take away your fear of going to jail. Sure, bad things happen in there but they can't eat you like they DO out here.
Anyway, the memories of my mother crying while they marched her baby boy off to jail, left me with feelings I can't deal with. She stuck by my side all the way, but I could see the fear, that I caused. This was back in 1975 and that memory is clear. Don't remember much bout the jail but what I did to mom is still fresh in my mind. Even though I hate myself for putting my loved one thro that, it created a closeness that I don't regret. I remember my Mother saying, "one day this will be behind us!" Thanks to all you Mom's out there waithing, God Bless You.

RTee,
Bless you! Its really hard to struggle with my feelings when it comes to my own son. I made the system work for me and so far it has. Its easier to correct a young child early than it is to fix them after they do time. You are right, Jail time does take the fear out of going to jail. Its their wonderful conditioning! No rehabilitation. No education. Just throw them in a room and give them a babysitter.
Today, they are doing a bit more with juveniles within the system. It because of caring parents like me. There is a long way to go but hopefully some day, the same juvenile system we know will be what its supposed to be. Heres to good things!

I too know how it feels to feel like i have grown up within the system. I first started getting into trouble and got sent to a group home at age 14, ran away stole a car, got sent Missouri River about 7 hours from my family. Ran away from there, got sent to Sauk Centre for a year. I finally got out of the juvenile system and when i turned 20 i graduated to the adult system.
I too feel so bad for what i put my family through. My time was easy but i failed to realize that i wasn't the only one doing time while i was behind the wall. Everyday that i was in, my mother and siblings were there with me, they did that time with me and it was them that it hurt more than anything. So mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers out there. It takes a while for it to finally dawn on people that being incarcerated hurts more than just themselves. I feel so bad for my mother, but i look into her eyes now, and i know she is proud of me, she has a beautiful grandchild, and i have a good job, and a beautiful fiance, everything seems to be going just fine.
I don't believe that our juvenile system works. I think it breeds criminalzation. This is my own opinion. But from my own experience I was sent to a group home for running away, At that group home i learned from others that were there, how to steal cars, and made friends with those inside the group home. I was already a follower so I ran away and stole a car, Got sent to another facitlity this time where I met people who committed burglary's and robberys and thought what an easy way to make money. By the time i was out of the Juvenile system I knew how to hotwire a car in under two minutes, how to break into a house and where to look for things, and how to disarm simple alarms to businesses to break into them. The juvenile justice system is definatly what i would call the school of hard knocks... I believe in Restorative Justice.... That is what will work, Let individuals make ammends to the victims and the community when it is possible. It does no good to lock a child away and throw away the keys...

I'll get off my soapbox now....


Peter