View Full Version : SOO WORRIED about getting APPROVED!! Someone PLEASE HELP!

05-20-2008, 07:26 PM
I sent in my application for approval on the 12th...they say it takes 6-8 weeks for approval! I think I just might have a heart attack! Im worried about how strict it is! Im new to all of this, my sweets just got sentenced at the end of February an just got to where he's gonna do his time! I have seen him at his trials and talked to him but its almost been a year since Ive hugged or touched him! So I think Ima die if I get denied cuz I heard if you're denied thats it, you NEVER get to visit for the whole length of his sentence!! Also another concern for approval is I just got charged with a criminal offense in the 3rd degree! I mean what Shi**y timing, I have had a super SPOTLESS record my whole life an now this!? Of course right when my clean record would have come in handy!?! :( Now thats BAD LUCK!:mad: Im currently fighting this in court, I plead "not guilty" is this gonna be good reason for denial of visitation priviledges? Does it vary from state to state? I heard misdemeanors are not a problem and Ive heard they are! Ive also heard that I shouldnt have a problem getting approved as long as Im not sentenced before I get approved! Does anyone know whats accurate? I DO NOT wanna go the whole 2 1/2 years without seeing him I dont know how I would be able to do that! Im so confused:shake: an the stress from wondering how long its gonna be b4 i see him again or how long its gonna be b4 Im approved is eating me up! Ive never been in this situation before EVER so naturally Im scared:eek:, confused:confused:, frustrated:blah:, & hurting:cry: !!

**On another note..... Im confused about how to deal with this sort of any help, comfort, advice for someone new to this whole project of being by your man while he does time would be so greatly appreciated as I have MANY questions about this!!
How do you know whether to be there for him? We barely dated before this happened but we had such a strong connection like Ive never felt before! I even TRIED to forget about him and did date other people thus far between the loss of contact an him being insecure and depressed about how we could even be together! I believe we can make it work if we want to and God willing. Is it normal for him to be back and forth on the issue in the beginning because of the depression and Shock?! He's only said it once to me in one letter that he wasnt sure of his feelings and we didnt have contact for 2 months and this was while he was in recieving. I just got another letter recently that hes second guessed what he wrote an he misses me an cant stop thinking about me and he needs me by his side! And I want to be there by his side cuz I feel so connected to him reguardless of the situation but then I hear so much from everyone around me saying I deserve better and I shouldnt wait an waste 2 years of my life on some convict! How do you deal with that?! Cuz I dont think I can walk away that doesnt feel right, I would always wonder, I know I would!
Anyway, I would apprecaite some good female contacts/friends to help me handle this situation cuz I have no idea how to do this, what to expect, etc!
Thanks SO much for any help anyone can give!!

Also how do I put a countdown timer in here for when he is released?!

05-22-2008, 08:50 PM
Hi- Welcome to PTO. What state is your loved one in?? That would help in answering some of your questions because yes each state varies. So if you get a chance post what state and if you would like - what facility. It helps in knowing how to answer. :)


05-23-2008, 10:55 AM
I'm sorry that i'm not much help as far as the visiting form is concerned. I filled mine out and was approved without a hitch.

However i can relate to having a connection with my man that is unreal. When i first met my man i felt it, but it was crazy because we are so different from one another. We've had our ups and downs, going to court and stuff, but now we have 2 daughters and are married. If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. I can relate to people objecting your involvement with a felon.

Good luck...

05-24-2008, 05:50 PM
And I want to be there by his side cuz I feel so connected to him reguardless of the situation but then I hear so much from everyone around me saying I deserve better and I shouldnt wait an waste 2 years of my life on some convict!

rule #1. you cant listen to what other people say. anyone that has not been in this situation DOES NOT understand. his and your feelings are all that matter. your family your best friend even will not agree with you most likely on choices you make you have to just take the chance.
rule #2. remember your heart cant help who it loves it does not see right or wrong good or bad it sees love that is all and sometimes that is all you have to go on so you have to go with your heart

05-24-2008, 05:51 PM
just wanted to welcome you to pto, i am sure someone will have all the answers you need. we have alot of understanding and support her!

sarah moats

05-26-2008, 09:08 PM
Ive talked to my boyfriend quite a bit since I posted so its helped to at least talk to him it'd been almost 3 months since we verbally spoke to one another! He's also gonna question the app approval with his counselor. But anyone who can help would be greatly appreciated. He is in Washington Airway Heights