View Full Version : So Anxious About Our First Visit - Please Help

05-14-2008, 09:49 PM
So this is my husband and my first experience with prison and the whole system. He finally got transferred to Evans ( in SC) and this Saturday will be the first time I have seen him in almost 2 months. I am so nervous and scared and uneasy. I guess I just don't know what to expect. Has anyone else been nervous about seeing their own husband? This is so weird. I was crying everyday and now that I know I am going to see him in 2 days I can't sleep and its all I can think about!

On another subject, I am so nervous he is going to not want me anymore or want to leave me and in his letters he is scared of me doing the same. I know it sounds stupid for me to be scared of losing him when he's on the inside but can any wives or girlfriends out there relate?

05-14-2008, 09:58 PM
Don't be so hard on yourself..... you're nervous because it's an UNCOMFORTABLE situation. It's totally normal. Give yourself (and him) some time to adjust.
All that mess about you guys being worried about leaving's just the stress of the situation getting to you. It will get better.
I'm not married legally, but have MAJOR history with my guy (for 14 years), and we have our insecure days. It's normal. Everyone that responds here will tell you the same- I guarantee. Good Luck to you and does get better.


05-14-2008, 10:10 PM
Yeah I have to agree with meg, Its normal. I was never really that insecure about our relationship before he went in but I do catch myself with the what if he gets out and doesnt want to be with me anymore and he tells me he feels the same way that once he gets out I might not want to be with him anymore but I just know that our love is strong enough to make it through this and it will get better one day.

Also good luck with you visit! I would be nervous to, although I havent seen my man in 7 months so I know when I get visitation I will be a nervous wreck the week before.

05-15-2008, 12:20 AM
This is my first time in a situation like this. I know what you mean about being nervous, when I saw joel for the first time last weekend it was only 2 weeks I had seen him. I was a mess the whole time waiting in line. I didnt want to cry in front of him. I tried to compose myself and I did a pretty good job. I was a little choked up but I held my tears back. My heart was racing and I couldnt stop smiling!! It was great. I hope you have a nice visit with him!!!! I know how much a visit means to all of us. It almost seems like our visit was a blur.. I can remember it and the important things he said.. but I was completly in a daze!!

About losing him, I also know what you mean. Tonight he told me dont cheat on me and if you do tell me!! I told him I would never do that. He said that everyone in there talks about how they are screwed over by people who they are married to or dating. I dont want people putting thought like that into his head but I guess its bound to happen. I told him I loved him very very much and would always be faithful. I also said those guys have obviously never have someone love them the way that I do to him. I would never think of doing that. He has my heart and with him is where it will always stay. I thought about him leaving me too.. my biggest fear was when I finally got to talk to him for the first time that he would say something along the lines of " we shouldn't be togeter" But that wasn't the case. It was the completly opposite! He just told me how much he loved me and so on...

I hope it all works out for you!!!! Good luck sweety!!