I have a good friend going to ashland ky federal prision, hes a 52 yr old gay male. Id like to get some information on do's and dont's, and anymore information you think is usable.

jewel,

Welcome to PTO!!! I am glad that you found us and I hope that we can bring you some answers...

I cannot give you specific information about that facility but I can offer some general information and advice... The gay members and guests of PTO have all had differing experience depending on the situation - state vs. federal - and state where the facility is - even within the state the situation can change.

From my personal experience - my Partner is open about his sexuality and is ok. We hug and kiss at the start and end of visits and during the visit it is clear to anyone that is watching us that we interact as a couple and not as friends... To date we have been fine. I am not saying that he has not heard comments from other Prisoners but basically we are fine. A huge part of this is the fact that he has been locked up for about 7 years now and he knows not only how to stand up for himself but his environment and what he can and cannot get away with - he is also respected. This is not to say that it was always this easy.

There have been members come to PTO that do not even hug (let alone kiss) their Partner on a visit because of the potential back lash that could come from this - it depends on the facility and the 'mood' of the facility.

Basic advice is the following:

Walk cautiously and don't assume anything. He doesn't have to necessarily hide his sexuality but don't advertise it either. He may in fact want to deny it depending on the situation. He will just have to find his way and that will take some time.

I know that this is very generic - but it is a start - if you have any specific questions please post them or feel free to Private Message me.

Thanks so much for the info. I hope he will be OK, but we are still both worried. He will take it slow and see how things go. He isn't a "flamer" but does not want to be in the closet the whole time he is there. I think he will make friends based on his personality, and after that the rest will take its natural xourse. Thanks again. Best wishes to you.