View Full Version : Anger Management?


luvssks
04-26-2008, 06:38 PM
Damian has anger issues (actually, so do I, mine just hasn't landed me in a jail cell...yet). He's been locked up for 4...well, almost 5 years now. He has told me that his rage scares him 'cuz he has no control over it when it overcomes him and he's doesn't know what he's capable of. He wants to get a better handle on it, and has been working on it...and is getting better. How many of your loved ones has taken anger management classes? Have they helped at all? What do they do to try to control their rage? Any advice/tips/suggestions I can give my man? Thanx! :thumbsup:

Rox73
04-27-2008, 08:26 AM
Mine took those classes (think they're called AOP). I think he feels like it helped him because he sometimes quotes what the instructor said when we talk about it.

One thing my guy disagrees with your guy about though is that it's "blind rage". He says that you always make the choice to get physical and you know well beforehand.... it's more like a question of knowing the triggers and getting a hold of the feelings when they happen. I'm not sure how you "get a hold" of them.... I guess it has something to do with conditioning yourself to think of a certain things when they happen? And practice that or something like that? :shrug: I'll ask him.

Every time I hear the word anger management I think of that movie with Adam Sandler and hear that song "I feel pretty, oh so pretty... oh so pretty and witty and gay..." :haha:

MurphyGirl
04-27-2008, 09:28 AM
My husband has taken two anger management classes. Both times he did it on his own without being directed by the prison to do so. The classes only really work if you are ready to make changes in your life My husband was ready for a change so he did get alot out of the classes.
Some guys do go into a blind rage when they fight. Others plan it out...no one does it the same!


ann

haswtch
04-27-2008, 09:29 AM
There is something called the Alternatives to Violence Project that a few facilities allow behind their walls. It is run by volunteers and it's an intensive series of workshops that go deeper than a typical anger management class
http://www.avpusa.org/

If he recognizes that he has issues then a great big issue called Denial is already battled and won:D
Since you BOTH acknowledge neeing to work on this, I think you're gonna ultimately win big and have a great relationship:cool:

luvssks
04-27-2008, 04:53 PM
Thanx has....I'm checking out the site now. :thumbsup: I'm not sure if Cali's prisons offer this or other anger management classes. I know where he's at now, they don't offer much of anything. Before he got transferred there, I know he was seeing a therapist, but they wanted to put him on meds for his anger and he didn't agree with that. :shrug: He is not big on using meds for anything, really. I will mention this program to him tho, and see if they have it there...I think I will print up some of the info for him even. Thank you!

I agree with Pen...some ppl do fly into a blind rage...esp if that rage is fueled by alcohol (which is another thing my man has admitted he has issues with and needs to deal with). For me, alcohol doesn't need to be present...and tho I *know* I'm in a rage; I can't seem to stop myself...I have just barely enough presence of mind NOT to get physical (unless you consider throwing things at the walls as physical).

Something someone recently told me (and I did a blog on this), was that many "rage-aholics" are risk-takers and adrenaline junkies. That definitely fits me to a "T"! I had never thought of that before, but rage does create that adrenaline rush. They also mentioned taking a look at what triggers the rage...and that is something I'm currently trying to do.

haswtch
04-27-2008, 07:01 PM
AVP ought to be taught in middle school IMHO. Some areas have community workshops or manage to get the public allowed into the prison workshops.

StormChild
04-28-2008, 04:59 PM
My husband has taken an anger management class and it has helped to some extent. He has also done some reading, tried some things on his own, and has a good understanding of his own triggers.

He's one of the ones who go into a blind rage, and he hates it.

SexyChef1
05-12-2008, 11:18 AM
Where Soldado is it was mandatory for him to take anger management courses...his charges are drug related but since he's been inside he has become a VO. Check with the facitily where he is and see if these classes are offered...they took 6 months off Soldado's sentence for taking them.

TaYaRoLoSonO
05-12-2008, 04:41 PM
My brother has taken an anger management class, and repeated it a couple of times just because. It has helped him tremendously. He's soo much calmer now. He still gets angry but he just swears a bit generally and doesn't want to speak about whats making him angry. Or just tries ignoring what/who's making him angry. Before being locked up he'd yell and curse at whoever he was pissed at and break shit. He never really got violent towards anyone though, thats why it's so hard to think of him as a violent offender.

luvssks
05-12-2008, 04:45 PM
For those who had loved ones take anger management classes...what do they teach? Just curious.

GHOTI
05-12-2008, 05:00 PM
They teach how to recognize signs that you are becoming angry, and methods to control or reverse the process that may have begun. The most important part seems to be the first part... knowing it's happening before it gets out of control.

robs_angel
05-12-2008, 09:23 PM
Mine thought him ways to control his anger and alot of stuff. good luck
best wishes
Sarah Moats

GHOTI
05-18-2008, 08:07 PM
I thought you might like to see this:

http://www.angermgmt.com/angertoolkit.asp

I <3 MY HUSBAND
05-19-2008, 02:55 PM
my husband has attended anger management classes and he has learned alot, I also have learned that I do do things to make him angry and it's just like luvssks said I'm an adrenaline junkie but I learned that it's not cool and to my surprise myhusband actually taught me a thing or two from his classes. My husband is/was the type to go into a blind rage I have actually seen it and it is horrible. They lose themselves but thankfully he has learned how to control himself and how to walk away from situations that will end horrible. my husband is a fighter, I actually tried to talk him into ufc but he wouldn't do it.

gemmy
05-21-2008, 08:21 AM
My husband hasn't gone through anger management yet. He has to do that right before he is paroled. While out on bail, he did however spend time in an inpatient psych/rehab hospital. He went through Behavior therapy. It has helped him drastically. He has learned coping skills and a different way to think about life and situations you may be in. I think it saved his life. I am very thankful for the help he received. He is still the same person, but a bit tweaked for the better. I enjoy his calm.

GHOTI
05-21-2008, 12:49 PM
My husband hasn't gone through anger management yet. He has to do that right before he is paroled. While out on bail, he did however spend time in an inpatient psych/rehab hospital. He went through Behavior therapy. It has helped him drastically. He has learned coping skills and a different way to think about life and situations you may be in. I think it saved his life. I am very thankful for the help he received. He is still the same person, but a bit tweaked for the better. I enjoy his calm.Anger Management will seem very familiar to him after the classes he's already taken. It's just not as expansive as Behavioral Modification in many instances.

lormur
05-22-2008, 12:08 AM
There are three Great Books, paperback, regarding Anger. The first one is "The anger Book. It is something that is not read from cover to cover but a few pages at a time. I used them in conducting anger management classes and this is the one that most clients favored. It is very beneficial to any living human. My opinion.