View Full Version : Why do women fall in love with inmates?


lisharon
04-01-2008, 01:50 PM
My husband asked the other day a question. He wanted to know why women fall in love with inmates that are in prison? Why do some women find their soul mate in prison? I told him how I felt, but he wants to hear answers from others, so if you can take some time out and just give me your thoughts, i'd apperciate it. Also i hope everyone is having a blessed day! :o

MzVirgo
04-01-2008, 01:56 PM
OOOH me 1st!! LOL

I'd have to say because they have all the time in the world to listen to you and get to know you without any real distractions and you get to know the real them behind the bad guy. Also they are in their lowest point in life and its always good to have someone in your life outside of your family that you can trust and go to for anything. Also my boyfriend has so much respect for me and could have taken advantage of me when he was out but didn't and I respect him with that. He's made me feel like I could never be with another man because the way they make me feel but how sincere they are to me and how much they can make me feel so good without actually touching me. I find it better for a girl like me who use to be so insecure and want to please guys thinking they would like me when all I needed was someone like my boyfriend to teach me that words can speak better than actions.

Also they have feelings too and often are misunderstood and never get the chance to find that someone and I feel like I am that someone for him to be with and that will listen to everything and try my best to be someone he can not only depend on, but trust, and grow with forever.

Good enough?

msonlydabest
04-01-2008, 01:56 PM
Do u mean MWI......or just in general?

traviesita
04-01-2008, 02:23 PM
I fell in love with a great man that just happened to be an inmate. I got to know the man not the inmate.

Mrs_Stone_Cold
04-01-2008, 02:27 PM
I fell in love with a great man that just happened to be an inmate. I got to know the man not the inmate.
Took the words right out of my mouth. That's EXACTLY what I was gonna say.... So, I'm gonna second that emotion. :thumbsup:

Waitin_4_J
04-01-2008, 03:19 PM
Couldn't have said it better myself Traviesita and MrsStone!

I never thought of my fiance as merely an 'inmate' when we met. I can't really explain why but after working in his prison for 2 years meeting him was so totally different than when I had met other inmates if that makes any kind of sense at all. I had to actually remind myself that he was an inmate!

He and I immediately connected and it was really easy for me to see past the fact that he was an inmate. My falling in love with him had absolutely nothing to do with him being incarcerated. I saw him for the man he is, I didn't put a lot of importance on his criminal history, and I still don't. In my opinion him being in prison has nothing to do with falling in love.

How do you explain falling for someone on the street? Location shouldn't matter when it comes to the heart.

MzVirgo
04-01-2008, 03:28 PM
I see where a lot of you are coming from saying that you didn't fall in love with the inmate himself but the person I mean that makes sense but I feel as though for my situation thats how I am applying it. Its not just the fact that he is an inmate either I liked him before he was locked up...Just him being in there has brought us way closer than I imagined. I started this at 16 and thought it was going to be like the rest of the so called situations with guys I was in...that it wouldnt' last and now that it has I am glad that it working out for the better.

JCLW
04-01-2008, 04:36 PM
I think these people are right when it comes to some men and some women. But there is a flip side that shouldn't be overlooked (since you're talking about all women and not just the happy ones).

There are also a lot of con men in prison. They can be anyone and anything you want them to be, in visits for a few short hours a week, or in letters. They're good at picking up hints and clues (sort of like those telephone 'fortune tellers'), know what questions to ask and 'feel you out' on how to answer questions to them. They instill trust by 'trusting' the person with 'secrets' and how they've been 'misunderstood' or 'abused.' They prey on a woman's compassion. Pretty soon the woman wants to 'help' them by sending money (what these con men are usually after). They write letters (the guys love getting mail), come for visits which gets the guys out of their unit (which is always welcomed) and they get to eat 'outside food' (something different from the mess hall food). These women aren't especially 'lonely' or 'insecure' (like a lot of people think); they're usually women who care about others and want to see the good side of everyone. And unfortunately, they get burned.

I've seen both. I have friends who are MWI and have been happily married for a lot of years. I also have friends who were taken to the cleaners, who were 'conned by a con.' There are the extremes and everywhere in between.

yaya'sbaby
04-01-2008, 05:16 PM
I fell in love with a great man that just happened to be an inmate. I got to know the man not the inmate.

Gonna 3rd that. This is just what i wanted to say!

Mrs_Stone_Cold
04-01-2008, 05:53 PM
I think these people are right when it comes to some men and some women. But there is a flip side that shouldn't be overlooked (since you're talking about all women and not just the happy ones).

There are also a lot of con men in prison. They can be anyone and anything you want them to be, in visits for a few short hours a week, or in letters. They're good at picking up hints and clues (sort of like those telephone 'fortune tellers'), know what questions to ask and 'feel you out' on how to answer questions to them. They instill trust by 'trusting' the person with 'secrets' and how they've been 'misunderstood' or 'abused.' They prey on a woman's compassion. Pretty soon the woman wants to 'help' them by sending money (what these con men are usually after). They write letters (the guys love getting mail), come for visits which gets the guys out of their unit (which is always welcomed) and they get to eat 'outside food' (something different from the mess hall food). These women aren't especially 'lonely' or 'insecure' (like a lot of people think); they're usually women who care about others and want to see the good side of everyone. And unfortunately, they get burned.

I've seen both. I have friends who are MWI and have been happily married for a lot of years. I also have friends who were taken to the cleaners, who were 'conned by a con.' There are the extremes and everywhere in between.
Oh, yeah, they're on the street too, and some of them are worse than ones inside, they have more resources at their disposal.

I questioned stone all the time at the begining, a very wise captain once told me, an inmate has ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT to figure out what to say to gain your trust, sympathy, love, etc. All they got is time, some use it to perfect their game.

timsbaby41
04-01-2008, 06:06 PM
Well i too have to say i fell in love with a man that happens to be an inmate.He is also my bestfriend

bernadette
04-01-2008, 06:11 PM
I have fallen in love with my best friend,and a man who happens to be an inmate
he doesnt ask me for anything except to write him which is right now 41 cents and to have my area code on my phone changed

yes we do have to be careful there are lots of con artist in prison and in the free world

lisharon
04-01-2008, 06:46 PM
works with me. thanks, lisharon

LOWRYDERHYNA
04-01-2008, 07:00 PM
I fell in love with a great man that just happened to be an inmate. I got to know the man not the inmate.
THATS PERFECTLY QUITE SAID!!!!!!!!!!

wildukcat
04-01-2008, 08:19 PM
I know this situation is far from ideal... but I find it absolutely beautiful that I found the man I did. I don't think of him as an inmate, an offender or #whatever. I think of him as my best friend, my confidant, my love, and my soulmate. They always say you find love when you're not looking and it definitely applies to my situation. We are very lucky (MWI) to get to know our significant others through letters, visits and phone calls BEFORE any other stuff can complicate things. I cherish that I know him better than anyone and he knows me just as well. If anyone can endure and conquer this situation, together, I really think that they can make it through anything!

fyrenspyce
04-01-2008, 09:33 PM
Love comes unexpectedly. I don't think either of us were looking for it, that's for sure!!! I won't even say we "found" one another - I think God had a lot more to do with it, so I'll give Him the credit! What is meant to be, will find a way!!! I <3 him so much!!! Can't wait until our next visit and our wedding!!

ultraviolet
04-02-2008, 02:55 AM
I love a man who sadly happens to be an inmate. Its wasnt a life choice...love happens it doesnt follow rules or always follow an easy path.

SexyChef1
04-02-2008, 10:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by traviesita
I fell in love with a great man that just happened to be an inmate. I got to know the man not the inmate.

yup thats just the way it happened.

traviesita
04-02-2008, 11:44 AM
I think these people are right when it comes to some men and some women. But there is a flip side that shouldn't be overlooked (since you're talking about all women and not just the happy ones).

There are also a lot of con men in prison. They can be anyone and anything you want them to be, in visits for a few short hours a week, or in letters. They're good at picking up hints and clues (sort of like those telephone 'fortune tellers'), know what questions to ask and 'feel you out' on how to answer questions to them. They instill trust by 'trusting' the person with 'secrets' and how they've been 'misunderstood' or 'abused.' They prey on a woman's compassion. Pretty soon the woman wants to 'help' them by sending money (what these con men are usually after). They write letters (the guys love getting mail), come for visits which gets the guys out of their unit (which is always welcomed) and they get to eat 'outside food' (something different from the mess hall food). These women aren't especially 'lonely' or 'insecure' (like a lot of people think); they're usually women who care about others and want to see the good side of everyone. And unfortunately, they get burned.

I've seen both. I have friends who are MWI and have been happily married for a lot of years. I also have friends who were taken to the cleaners, who were 'conned by a con.' There are the extremes and everywhere in between.

This is very true, and it can happen inside or outside. I've seen it happen and I hate knowing about it.

For me, I twisted untwisted and twisted my husbands brain just to know where he was coming from. Lets just say our best game at first was playing Devils advocate. (smile) And till this day I give him a bit of brain twisters and he just smiles and say's "I'm not going any where loca".

I'll always be on my toes but this is a given with any man.

Luv2012
04-06-2008, 10:44 PM
I never thought of my man as a bad guy just because he is in prison even when he was just a simple penpal i never juged him , i just wanted to be his friend, naw i am his lady and i get sutch beautiful leters and all i want to do is be hear for him till i can get lost with him some day ,

IslandPrinc3ss
03-07-2011, 07:45 PM
I am a former Officer and I am now retired never did I think in my wildest dreams I would fall in love with someone behind prison bars.I figure I would make a friend and be there for that individual. I realize not all men in prison are as bad as what the world makes them to be.People in general make mistakes because not one of us is perfect in any aspect or form. Being an officer made me see things different and I never realized how shallow I was till I met my husband.When we love we know it is there because of the blessing of God above. He lays the path for us and we take it step by step and I can say that I am glad my path crossed with my husband because not only is he the most loving, understanding and appreciate me for who I am and not so much what I can do and what I look like. If anything men in prison look for the inner beauty of a partner.I have learned and I see things now in two different aspect of life. Not all men in prison are as bad as what the world makes it to sound. Oh let also say this.lol.I do like a bad boy every now and then.. SMILE!!!

Temeron0926
03-07-2011, 10:43 PM
Women fall in love with "men who are in prison" for the same reason you fell in love with your husband. Because we get to know them, because we find out they ARE someone who is well worth our time and effort. Because we are NORMAL. I didn't fall in love with my fiancee BECAUSE he is in prison, I fell in love with him IN SPITE of the fact he is in prison. I fell in love with him because he "gets" me, because we are best friends, because I don't WANT to be without him, because I WANT him in my life. Prison is not WHO he is, it is WHERE he is. There is no "why" about it.

HisBlueEyedGal
03-07-2011, 11:00 PM
I fell in love with a great man that just happened to be an inmate. I got to know the man not the inmate.

Indeed.

Maybe this will help your man understand why I've committed myself to someone who happens to be incarcerated:

I started browsing the Inmate Pen Pal ads out of curiosity and as a way to entertain myself while I was bed-ridden with pneumonia.

I chose to write to my love because his smile caught my eye and I loved the way his ad sounded so up-beat and cheerful. Also, I already had a PO box and I live in a completely different state than the one that my love is incarcerated in, so I figured the distance and PO box would keep me safe in case he turned out to be no good.

I chose to commit to my love because he has all the qualities that I look for in a partner, plus so many more wonderful things that I didn't even know I wanted until I met him. As has already been stated, I fell in love with a great man who happens to be incarcerated. I fell in love with him. After I fell in love, it was so easy to commit because honestly, I can't imagine my life without him in it.

hesmineandimhis
03-08-2011, 10:31 AM
Women fall in love with "men who are in prison" for the same reason you fell in love with your husband. Because we get to know them, because we find out they ARE someone who is well worth our time and effort. Because we are NORMAL. I didn't fall in love with my fiancee BECAUSE he is in prison, I fell in love with him IN SPITE of the fact he is in prison. I fell in love with him because he "gets" me, because we are best friends, because I don't WANT to be without him, because I WANT him in my life. Prison is not WHO he is, it is WHERE he is. There is no "why" about it.

Very well said. I fell in love with my man because of who he is. It didnt' happen over night and I took many more percuations with him than I ever would have with somone on the streets. Why because I couldnt' get past the prison aspect, but then it hit me like a brick wall; prison is not who he is it is where he is; and then I accepted his friendsdhip as it was; and then I fell in love with him "in spite" of the fact he is in prison. He has more determination than any person i have ever met. He has a spirit that can not be broken. He is simiply amazing. Our lives are and have been totally different but his life has made him the man he is. Amazing simply amazing.

SeXyLaDy714
03-08-2011, 10:37 AM
open mined~ is a good thing and your right god does things for a reason!I am a former Officer and I am now retired never did I think in my wildest dreams I would fall in love with someone behind prison bars.I figure I would make a friend and be there for that individual. I realize not all men in prison are as bad as what the world makes them to be.People in general make mistakes because not one of us is perfect in any aspect or form. Being an officer made me see things different and I never realized how shallow I was till I met my husband.When we love we know it is there because of the blessing of God above. He lays the path for us and we take it step by step and I can say that I am glad my path crossed with my husband because not only is he the most loving, understanding and appreciate me for who I am and not so much what I can do and what I look like. If anything men in prison look for the inner beauty of a partner.I have learned and I see things now in two different aspect of life. Not all men in prison are as bad as what the world makes it to sound. Oh let also say this.lol.I do like a bad boy every now and then.. SMILE!!!

~Shadowfax~
03-08-2011, 10:42 AM
I fell in love with a man. That he happened to be an inmate is purely circumstance.

SeXyLaDy714
03-08-2011, 10:43 AM
i do believe what you are saying! but life is about taking chance why live as what if................ and as the comment says this can happen any where inside or outside............... i am a chance taker, and i will grow from it all........... bad or good! :p


This is very true, and it can happen inside or outside. I've seen it happen and I hate knowing about it.

For me, I twisted untwisted and twisted my husbands brain just to know where he was coming from. Lets just say our best game at first was playing Devils advocate. (smile) And till this day I give him a bit of brain twisters and he just smiles and say's "I'm not going any where loca".

I'll always be on my toes but this is a given with any man.

Double Platinum
03-08-2011, 11:03 AM
I know this situation is far from ideal... but I find it absolutely beautiful that I found the man I did. I don't think of him as an inmate, an offender or #whatever. I think of him as my best friend, my confidant, my love, and my soulmate. They always say you find love when you're not looking and it definitely applies to my situation. We are very lucky (MWI) to get to know our significant others through letters, visits and phone calls BEFORE any other stuff can complicate things. I cherish that I know him better than anyone and he knows me just as well. If anyone can endure and conquer this situation, together, I really think that they can make it through anything!

I second that!:thumbsup:

mrbostonsgrl
03-08-2011, 11:19 AM
I think women fall in love with inmates because they don't see that as an issue. Some people are looking for their soulmates, but they limit where their love is found. With woman that find love in prisons, we don't have that issue. We're open to actually finding love and that is why we do because it doesn't matter where we find it. :heart:

Levi's wife
03-08-2011, 11:26 AM
I think that when someone gets locked up...they realize what they took for granted...such as a good strong woman....for my guy it took him to get locked up to get his head on straight....now he sees things in a different way...and the sincerity that comes from these guys is truly genuine....i wouldn't trade my "inmate" in for nothing....i never knew how powerful love can be until i fell in love with an "inmate"....

Levi's wife
03-08-2011, 11:33 AM
I know this situation is far from ideal... but I find it absolutely beautiful that I found the man I did. I don't think of him as an inmate, an offender or #whatever. I think of him as my best friend, my confidant, my love, and my soulmate. They always say you find love when you're not looking and it definitely applies to my situation. We are very lucky (MWI) to get to know our significant others through letters, visits and phone calls BEFORE any other stuff can complicate things. I cherish that I know him better than anyone and he knows me just as well. If anyone can endure and conquer this situation, together, I really think that they can make it through anything!

nicely said!!!

HisBeautiful1
03-08-2011, 12:01 PM
In all honesty I understand why people ask this question and do not take offense to it. I am the wife of an inmate but he was not an inmate when we met. I would not have entertained him or any one else had they been incarcerated when we had an encounter.

Generally when people fall in love (whether they are looking to or not) they envision a situation where they are in the position to be with their love at any and all times. Having access to your love at will is the ideal love situation. Unfortunately we all realize this is not the case when you are in a relationship with an inmate. The relationship is strained from the beginning as distance, time, and the unknown is ever present. Regardless as to how one may attempt to slice it the ideal relationship is not one in which you have limited access to your love.

While being open to finding love in the less likely places is a great answer as to why women fall in love with inmates, there are other answers in which people may not want to acknowledge. Why willingly place your self in a disadvantaged situation when looking for love?

bl6ckr0s3
03-08-2011, 01:34 PM
The word inm8 was just a term to me. Wen me & my man met each other, b-ing 12 yrs old he was a very shy kid. We never got to talk much, so we barely ever got to kno each other. Wen I found out bout wat happened to him thru friends, I was sad & disappointed that I may have had a chance to b w/ him. I wanted to @ least b able to b friends. Only talked to him one time on the fone, this was during high school right b4 our senior year. I dunno wat it was, something in me wanted to care. I cared about him even tho we didn't really knew each other. I was sad & worried wen I found out he went to prison. Was he hurt? Is he ok? Where is he?? I'll never c him again...:cry:

:bow:I said a prayer begging God please watch over him & let him b safe & alive. I didn't care wat he did nor thought twice wondering wat the reason was 4 y he was put in. All wat mattered to me was that he was ok & safe. Wen we reconnected I told him that, he was shocked. He didn't understand y I thought about him that way. Something told me to, i normally don't think of people who i barely knew. :yay: May-b all this time God was trying to give a hint that this man was going to b my future :cupid2:. I never knew that sooner or l8r I was gonna fall in love w/ him. :heart: He's the most wonderful man I ever met. I kno angels come in all forms. He's 1 of em. :angel:

closer2mydreamz
03-08-2011, 01:41 PM
I personally think it's the spiritual connection you develope through corresponding. Sometimes out here, the "physical" happens before you can actually find out the real truth and real person you are with. This connection builds up over months, sometimes years and you find yourself opening up to the person more than you ever had with anyone. You tell them things about yourself and they do t a he same. You get a simple joy out of a letter, not dates etc... This experience humbles you and makes you appreciate the little things. Plus the heart does what it wants to :)

He&me
03-08-2011, 02:04 PM
I fall in love with him because he is in prison, that was the only way we could meet, with letters first, with visits and now with love.
He was living in a part of the world then me, now we live in the same.
Love is a strong emotion and dont look where somebody is.

Damask8
03-08-2011, 06:54 PM
They fall in love because they are people, and bars cant separate attraction.

There are beautiful women who are honest and faithfully waiting for their men to come home. They are as real as anyone else.

sbdalton
03-08-2011, 07:39 PM
OOOH me 1st!! LOL

I'd have to say because they have all the time in the world to listen to you and get to know you without any real distractions and you get to know the real them behind the bad guy. Also they are in their lowest point in life and its always good to have someone in your life outside of your family that you can trust and go to for anything. Also my boyfriend has so much respect for me and could have taken advantage of me when he was out but didn't and I respect him with that. He's made me feel like I could never be with another man because the way they make me feel but how sincere they are to me and how much they can make me feel so good without actually touching me. I find it better for a girl like me who use to be so insecure and want to please guys thinking they would like me when all I needed was someone like my boyfriend to teach me that words can speak better than actions.

Also they have feelings too and often are misunderstood and never get the chance to find that someone and I feel like I am that someone for him to be with and that will listen to everything and try my best to be someone he can not only depend on, but trust, and grow with forever.

Good enough?

If you think you are meeting the "real guy", you are sadly mistaken

Mary Louise
03-08-2011, 08:18 PM
I met the love of my life in a visitation center while visiting my son. I never expected to meet a man there that I would fall in love with but I did. I fought it at first but found I had to follow my heart. We both feel that God brought us together and thank him for it. I didn't fall in love with him because he is an inmate but in spite of it. He is a wonderful man and I wait for the day he comes home.

O's Sweetheart
03-12-2011, 06:35 PM
Because inmates are people too...

poboycable40
01-11-2012, 10:02 PM
Because inmates are people too...
My inmate and me dated 31 years ago , he was my first love , I got pregnant we were both 17 at the time . My parents wouldn't let me have nothing to do with him , Made me marry another man who abused me . He found out i got married and moved away. And i tracked down his ex wife , which he had 2 kids with , and found out he is in prision for 8 years . i Loved him then , and love him now. I wrote him and he sayed he never got over me either.. And i am trying to reconect him with his 30 year old daughter which he has never meet..

Erics4ever
01-11-2012, 10:25 PM
I fell in love with a boy, who grew into a young man, became my husband and is incarcerated. I don't view him as an 'inmate'.

akpendle
01-11-2012, 10:32 PM
I think of it like Rhianna said........ WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE :D

AmberJunior612
01-11-2012, 11:59 PM
While i defenitly cant speak for all women on this issue there is differences in each MWI situation...

As for me...

My best friend became incarcerated in dec of 08... After 17 mnths and MANY court dates he took a deal, so in feb 2010 they sent him down to prison. I used to visit him every weekend with his mother and daughter ( I am the godmother of his daughter ) and talk to him several times a week on the phone. Well one day on the phone he decided to put a friend of his on who kept trying to tell him he wanted to talk to me. Ray and I became close and he would get on the phone here and there and we began to write as friends. Soon we began to talk everyday as we have much in common and he knows alot of people I do in the street. Neither of us planned to fall in love considering Ray has 7 1/2 years left and his previous girlfriend whom he was with for 3 years on the street cheated, amongst many other things. We became best friends and then fell in love. Was it what I was looking for? No considering i work 7 days a week an attend nursing school FULL TIME! it just happened... I love hin with all my heart as he does me, we now both know eachothers families and friends and we kno eachother better than anyone. He is not only my man but my best friend... We know the reality of our situation it is very hard but i hold him down to the fullest as he does for me. Never has he asked for money or anything, ( for those thinking an inmate uses others ) Rays family makes sure he is taken care of well. And we have a strong support system behind us... It wasnt planned but hes the best thing that ever happened to me and we plan to get married and have a family one day. Yes im 100% faithful and so is he. I trust him 10000% & vice versa... It wasnt what i was looking for at 21 years old but i am very hapoy and glad god put him in my life!!

kasailes
01-12-2012, 12:33 AM
I never in a million years planned to fall in love wit my rockstar husband. But it happened that we became friends ans then he became the love of my life.. He wrote me first and took the first step.. I just responded to that letter and thank god I did .. Because without him n my life I truly think I would be lost and in a abusive relationship as I have always been n the past.. So I thank god for my man everyday.

Inknutts Platinum Angel

AmberJunior612
01-12-2012, 02:59 AM
Women fall in love with "men who are in prison" for the same reason you fell in love with your husband. Because we get to know them, because we find out they ARE someone who is well worth our time and effort. Because we are NORMAL. I didn't fall in love with my fiancee BECAUSE he is in prison, I fell in love with him IN SPITE of the fact he is in prison. I fell in love with him because he "gets" me, because we are best friends, because I don't WANT to be without him, because I WANT him in my life. Prison is not WHO he is, it is WHERE he is. There is no "why" about it.

That is very trueeeee!! Couldnt have said it better

ShoesHappen
01-12-2012, 03:27 AM
Why do woman fall in love with anyone?

Tjames85
01-12-2012, 04:30 PM
While I am not a woman I do have an opinion.

I found my soul mate in prison because I was open to it. I wasn't looking for love. I believed that making a connection with someone through letters would be interesting. In no way did I think I would meet someone who shares all of my values. We grew up in different environments and developed vastly different coping mechanisms to deal with our environments. Emotionally we are night and day so we balance each other out. Mentally we are very similar. I am a little more ponderous and he is a little more of a go getter.

Values wise we are twins. We came from broken homes and had two very different experiences as bi men. We left Christianity at different times for different reason. Financially he was way more successful than I have ever been. Our views on money, romantic relationships, building a family, religion, acceptance and forgiveness of others (especially prisoners), and our goals in life are nearly identical. One of the first letters he wrote me scared because it was like he was in my head. He new parts of me that my best friends couldn't comprehend. I like to think of it as convergent personal evolution. That's my own made up name for it.

Personal growth is my raison d'etre. For some reason I am more comfortable exploring sides of myself that I would normally deny. I can't imagine a better reason to stick with someone than their ability to inspire your reason for existing to new heights. TO answer your boyfriends question I think many of us see the value of people behind bars. Just because a person goes to prison it doesn't mean they loose their value. When we are open to that idea we are open to allowing those individuals to affect us in powerful ways.

Tjames85
01-12-2012, 04:43 PM
Couldn't have said it better myself Traviesita and MrsStone!

I never thought of my fiance as merely an 'inmate' when we met. I can't really explain why but after working in his prison for 2 years meeting him was so totally different than when I had met other inmates if that makes any kind of sense at all. I had to actually remind myself that he was an inmate!


It took my boyfriend a long time to realize that I don't see him as an inmate. I see him as a man in prison and that is a huge difference. I tend to forget he is a felon until I want to call him up.

Tjames85
01-12-2012, 04:45 PM
I think these people are right when it comes to some men and some women. But there is a flip side that shouldn't be overlooked (since you're talking about all women and not just the happy ones).

There are also a lot of con men in prison. They can be anyone and anything you want them to be, in visits for a few short hours a week, or in letters. They're good at picking up hints and clues (sort of like those telephone 'fortune tellers'), know what questions to ask and 'feel you out' on how to answer questions to them. They instill trust by 'trusting' the person with 'secrets' and how they've been 'misunderstood' or 'abused.' They prey on a woman's compassion. Pretty soon the woman wants to 'help' them by sending money (what these con men are usually after). They write letters (the guys love getting mail), come for visits which gets the guys out of their unit (which is always welcomed) and they get to eat 'outside food' (something different from the mess hall food). These women aren't especially 'lonely' or 'insecure' (like a lot of people think); they're usually women who care about others and want to see the good side of everyone. And unfortunately, they get burned.

I've seen both. I have friends who are MWI and have been happily married for a lot of years. I also have friends who were taken to the cleaners, who were 'conned by a con.' There are the extremes and everywhere in between.

Thank you for bringing this up. I usually do it but I get tired of being the forms negative Nancy.

lovemipapi
01-12-2012, 05:53 PM
i fell in love with a man...he happend to used to reside in a federal prison - I didnt look for him! He didnt look for me - we met cuz of an x - we talked very lil while i was with my x and then even when i left my x i didnt contact him for a few months, he had no clue the time that things were bad he had no idea how i was being treated till 3mo after i broke up with my x...he never over steped boundries while i was w/my x - we never even rlly talked on a personal leval till i finally told him the truth and that i was no longer w/my x and that i wuld no longer be updating either of them on how each other is going!

I ran scared a few months later and a lot of drama in my life was going on w/my kids, and my moms health - so tween being scared that i might be falling for him, and being scared i'd get hurt and then all the stuff w/my family - and he put me on a silly "restriction" not rlly but it's wat he called it for something silly and i didnt do wat i was to do for being off restriction lol so itwas a lot of differ things...

after i was mia for a cpl months i came back as i missed him so very much and didnt even kno wat to think or how he'd react...all was good he jus didnt want me playin games :)

I fell in love with a MAN - I say were mwi cuz that's our title - but i honestly hate that... we are man and woman tht love each other period we are boyfriend and girlfriend - we are king and queen and we love respect and are loyal to one another!
My man is OUT of prison currently we are now LONG distant couple as he lives in TX and I live in PA - he's in a half way house and will be goin on home confinement, then he's on supervised relase so he has to have permission to move, so we havea long road ahead of us yet!

again i love mi papi, who when i met him his resedency at the time was in a federal prison! why do woman fall in love with inmates? cuz it happens, it's not a reason they fall in love with them...and guess wat an inmate is a human with feelings too! Sure there are sum con's in there - but guess wat? there's sum rlly good cons n playa's out in free world - some are even better then those that are caught in prison!

Bigbirdsgirl83
01-12-2012, 06:47 PM
My man fell into my lap shortly after my boyfriend passed away and what lil I had left of a family passed away in may of last year and he became an escape from all my sadness and problems. Soon there after we started to fall in love. I never asked for this but I'm sure enjoying the outcome!

hisLoveBug92
01-12-2012, 07:23 PM
Because he's my free councilor lol I use to tell babe before when we were friends that he has nothing better to do than to hear my "problems" and I needed advice but he wasn't allowed to tell me negative ...of course I was kidding but I found trust with him. And eventually our friendship grew and and that friendship grew to crushing n that led to liking n that led to falling n that led to love....just like any relationship on the outside one thing leads to another ...took awhile but we got there ...

Sunflow
01-13-2012, 03:57 PM
Because he is so darn charming :p

Seriously speaking, you can't reason love. It just happens when you least expect it! I never in million years thought I was one day in this situation, but here I am. I did not fall for inmate, I fell for the most amazing man I have ever known. He just happens to be inmate. Well... Not "happens to be"... He made his bad choises, and is paying his due, but you get my point, I hope.

Robinellah
01-13-2012, 05:39 PM
Pure rebellion...Because the powers that be said I could not have a personal relationship with this offender. Because he had my back when I was working in that facility and also now that I'm not. Because he is solid, and everything I need.

Cndiforever
01-13-2012, 06:41 PM
I didn't fall inlove with a inmate...I fell inlove with a blessing...but unfortunately he made a mistake...n as things progress hopefully he has had his wake up call.he will b home soon.never the less...he is the love of my life..were both 18 but at age 17 we vowed to always b together No matter what life threw at us..n with that we've been through hell n back...n now that hells gates knows it can't prevail against our relationship..were back from the fire..n he's my fiance..we've been engaged since we were 17

Bigbirdsgirl83
01-13-2012, 07:06 PM
I didn't fall in love with an inmate I fell in love with a man who happens to be an inmate.... but I never forget he's a man before anything and I treat him as such which is part of why he loves me so much!