Hey Gurlfriends,
I am writing this morning because I wanted to enlighten some who may not know the true feeling of forgiveness.

I first want to address all the replys to my earlier post from the other night, don't throw stones unless you are without pain yourself. Each one of us, deals with our own pain and sorrow a different way, if I choose to drink mine once a month, then so be it, how you choose to deal with yours, is your business. My once a month drunk is not hurting anyone but myself, if you don't wanna read my 'so sorry for me' posts, then don't, it was your choice to read. I don't need your pity and sarcasum. What am looking for when I post my feelings of the heart? I suppose love, caring and some kind words to ease the heart of all this pain, is that not what we all need? Harsh words only enhances ones authority to feel powerful over another, so what is the sense in even replying, go ahead, stone me.

Another subject I want to address is those who thrive on others pain. There are those who's curiosity and gossiping, about another's crime and sentencing. Does this ease one's pain? Knowing that another's child is serving long sentence's? Possibly, even death sentences? Does that make one feel better? Can one sleep better, knowing one can have conversation regarding anothers pain? Think twice, go ahead and throw those stones. When one confides in another, that is a privilege, not an opportunity. Have some compassion & love ... I promise compassion and love pays alot more :)

I also watched a program the other night on tv, it was called "The Power of Forgiveness." Wonderful program. FORGIVENESS IS NOT POSSIBLE, UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPASSION IN YOUR HEART. http://thepowerofforgiveness.com/

May you all be Blessed and let us all try to keep a pure heart.

Luv
Peb

Pebbles,

If you think I need to learn about forgiveness, then I will take that to heart. If I have appeared to throw stones at you, please forgive me.

Take care, Pebbles. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!

Mary

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me a channel of your peace;
where there is hatred let me bring your love,
where there is injury, your pardon,
where there is doubt, true faith in you;
where there is despair in life let me bring hope,
where there is darkness, only light,
and where there is sadness, ever joy;
O Master grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved, as to love with all my soul!
For it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
in giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
Francis of Assissi

(((Pebbles)))

Oh Pebs, no one was ever throwing stones at you, ever. We love you here, and we get worried. You have no idea how many times I have worried about you when you have posted and then simply disappeared. In the past, I have sent you PM's when you haven't come back on. Even my hubby knows who you are! About our sons' sentences, I can't keep that straight. This site is for his mom. I don't remember you ever posting about your son's sentence, if you did.........

Nobody was ever attacking you here Pebs. If we didn't care, we wouldn't read, and we certainly wouldn't take the time to respond, and it was not fair of you to assume we do so for any other reason. We really do care about you Pebs. We are all in the same boat, sometimes without an oar. You don't need to be forgiven for anything you have ever posted, you need support, not forgiveness! We are here for that.

Don't be a stranger, and come on for support, even if you just peak in and don't feel like posting, that's OK. Just know that we are always here for you, not just when it gets to be too much. You are always in my prayers Pebs.

Wendy

P.S. we are all in pain. That is why we are here.

I love you Pebs
Wendy

Hi,
Sometimes, I read these posts quickly. If I don't respond, don't think it's because I don't care, I do. I always pray for the poster. Every day I am praying for the families represented here, and our "children." I don't keep the sentences straight, it's not important to me what they are "in" for. What is important to me is prayer. Prayers that each and every one of us become the version God intended us to be.
When I am really down, I find the site, www.flylady.net (http://www.flylady.net) helps. She is not a pilot, but a fly fisherwoman! Anyway, it's an organizational site, and much, much more. You have to learn to delete a lot, but it helps me to keep our home, and myself running more smoothly! It's part of my daily encouragement.
May the Lord Bless you,
PS- I have had an awful time learning to forgive my older children's bio. father. I finally decided to tell the Lord, (LOL-he already knows my thoughts!), that I don't feel forgiveness as an emotion, but I'm willing to try to forgive to be obedient to Him, but I need His help! If that makes any sense?

miss pebblelina,
i am sorry you are hurting so deeply for your child. imho the only thing i witnessed from this compassionate group of people..
................. was TUFF LOVE not rock throwing............................

Gosh ladies. I haven't been very active in the Parents forum, but not because I didn't want to be. I was busy in another forum.\\But truly forgiveness and compassion are what liberates us!

It's been a lifetime of learning the lifestyle of forgiveness and I'm sure I'm not done learning it yet.

But in my younger years, I would swipe back at someone who took a swipe at my kids. Looking back on some of the things I took issue with, I know that if I could have looked at words spoken to me in a different way, I may have been able to glean a little wisdom as far as my ids were concerned.

The way I look at things is that we ALL have troubles in this life. God didn't promise us a rose garden or to keep us away from sadness and bad times, But he promised to be there as a comfort in those bad times. Every single perosn has troubles in their lives. We can't compare, because we just don't know what someone else is truly dealing with.

I have been working on forgiving the overzealous DA and the police who lied to my son to get him to sign a pretyped statement. Had he not signed this there is a good chance he would never have gone to prison. But he did.

It's a bit easier for me since my son is now home, I guess. But I have truly been at peace since shortly after my son was arrested and I heard God's voice saying, "Now do you understand how much I love you?"

I truly wish for each of you this inner peace. Yes, I have bad days. And sometimes I need a swift kidk in the butt to keep my focus where it is needed.

Blessings to each of our dear moms and dads. I've walked your road and I will continue walking right beside you.

But take the time to look at others as humans created in the image of God.

I do not think anyone threw stones, more like throwing you a lifesaver. A stone would sink you, a hand down there to help pull you up from drowning was more like it. it is hard to watch, harder to see it continue time and again. :faint:

You have always been shown so much compassion! Your sober mind and words are well thought out and you could use that to send that same compassion to others.

I never saw one person here gossip about another's loved one's sentences or crimes. in fact, I am in awe of those mothers who are sharing and caring, in spite of the sorrow they face and have to swallow. perhaps you meant that happens in your real world. this cyber family cries with one another and upholds one another...you included.

this is not about forgiveness at all. people took the time to post to you and cared enough to not only read your post but to respond. I was hoping you would post and let us know that you have re-read your words and that you are sorry for scaring us all half to death with worry over you. I was thinking you might want to say that you have decided NOT to do that again and you appreciate us wanting to lift you from the doldrums. read how many people saw your post and how many actually responded...those who responded CARED.

c'mon pebs, I like it when you get fired up enough to fight back, it shows me you care and DO giveadamn about life!:thumbsup:

BTW I checked...
214 read your post
20 responses...from a total of 12 people...

who cared enough to get angry about your self destruction

BTW next time you do a drunken post like that I will not respond. My son got the same treatment when he refused to stop drinking himself into depression. he can still do it but not with me standing watch. It is too painful to watch those you care about fall and refuse help.

I have had an awful time learning to forgive my older children's bio. father. I finally decided to tell the Lord, (LOL-he already knows my thoughts!), that I don't feel forgiveness as an emotion, but I'm willing to try to forgive to be obedient to Him, but I need His help! If that makes any sense?by flymom

flymom, I know what you are saying here. I spent many yrs so deep in hate of my ex for how he treated the kids...and this before I knew the full brunt of it... hated him so much I would get physically sick just talking to him on phone, I even tried to think of 'legal' ways to kill him. then we came to know the Lord, and He taught me about forgiveness. I still don't care for the man, but I (hope) I have come to give forgiveness. It is not up to me to judge the man - that is up to God. since learning of the true brunt of his abuse, especially towards david, I have had a hard time keeping the hate at bay. it would be so much easier. but if God can forgive us by dying for us, how can I not forgive just in my heart. I have even on occassion prayed for him.

pebs... if I came across to you as 'throwing stones' I ask you to forgive me. I never intended anything I said to come across that way. I just care about you and want to see a smile from you instead of pain.

Pebs I posted on that post you posted and I spilled my heart out to you. NOT TO THROW STONES by NO MEANS what soever. I love you and I have known you in earlier years and your children. I sit here with a son in prison because of drinking.
I divorced a man of 23 yrs because of drinking! Do you think that I don't hurt?
I am not judgeing your son or you or anyone elses loved ones here. I felt you were crying out and I answered your post.
I to will not answer again if it is a post about you drinking because of this post.
I sent you a PM as well and have sent you many trying to check up on you and make sure you are okay! Nothing more than caring and love for you! I am saddened that you honestly believe that we were throwing stones when not one of us is in a postition to do so.
I am sorry your feeling this way. That surely was not what I had intended when I pored my heart out to you that is for sure!
I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and I am here for you if you want to talk. If I have offended you again I am sorry!

Ok, wasn't gonna post, but in Pebb's defense, I have to take a stand here. You, I, or whoever, does not know this woman PERSONALLY on a day to day basis. So you act like she is drinking and drunk 24/7 and on skid row. Well, seeing how she posts like once a month, I think, she may just open up after she has had a few. Not unlike ALOT of us here. Hmmm... And than she gets blasted for telling how she really feels. I repeat, HOW SHE FEELS. Ya know, one thing I have learned, that I hope and PRAY my son learns, as well as your own child, is to express their feelings, and work through those feelings. With out judgement, BEFORE any thing else. Sorry, just thought Pebb's got blasted, and that is wrong. No matter how you justify it. The judgement is the Lord's, not yours. Other wise, we could ALL sit here and point fingers. Be Blessed.

Wow - not really sure how to reply...guess I am taken back by your reply. Do you know how many times I got on and checked to see if you were on? Not to be nosey, not be cruel and gossip, but cuz I was worried for you.

So, my apologies if I offended you. But, in my defense, alcohol - once a month or whenever, will not make the hurt go away - it just intensifies it. And I speak this from personal experience. Nothing like crying in your drink as they say - and trust me, I did that a lot and all it accomplished was an even more f*#ked up life. I learned that the hard way. No offense to those who chose to have a drink or two - but alcohol is a depressant - it will not help you feel better, it will not make the pain go away, it will not bring your son home - it just brings it all to the surface and then the pain is so very raw all over again.

Again - let me make this very clear - this statement is not made in judgment of those who drink responsibly - I am far from one to judge or classify anyone - I would not do that. But in my little corner of the world, I have seen nothing good come from alcohol. I received numerous beatings by an drunk boyfriend - arrests of loved ones, anger, depression and destruction come from alcohol. So Im sure you got the picture that Im not a drinker anymore :p To be honest, I cant be around someone who is drunk - the fear in me is so strong that I become an nervous wreck. I found more relief in dropping to my knees in prayer than I ever did when I drank.

And I honestly did not see anyone accuse you of being a daily drunk - we seen someone in pain and reached out.

Also - in defense of all us on PTO - I have never read or even slightly felt anyone was judging me, or trying pry into my business or anything of the kind on this website. I have found nothing but understanding, compassion and sometimes a friendly reality check (which I needed) - and this is the only place I can go and feel that way.

I really dont understand what this is all about. Im kinda offended too cuz I feel like my reaching out to you with an offer to help was slapped right back in my face.

Im sorry - I wasnt looking to piss you off - I was looking at you as someone I could connect to, a friend, ya know? . Again... my apologies.

One more thought pebbs....I dont know you or your circumstances and dont feel its any of my business unless you chose to share it...I guess I was afraid for you, thats all. plain and simple. I connected with your pain and wanted to help.

I hope my preaching on alcohol did not offend anyone - I am not here to judge or make enemies - I am here to make friends and find some kind of inner peace and acceptance. Im sorry if I got carried away - but alcohol and its consequences really scares the poop right out of me...:(

hey pebbs - I just read your card and posted about in the other thread. That was really neat and it is appreciated. And I too am very sorry if I offended you - it was not my intention - I only wanted to help as so many others have helped me.

I will close this post and wish you a good night with peaceful dreams :thumbsup:

Pebbs, I too, since I was one of the first to post to you the other night had only love and concern in my heart for you. I only shared about forgiveness from my experience in an attempt to help you ease the pain. I know that I was very bitter and angry and when I released some of it then I was able to feel the rock in my chest lighten up a little, and I want the same for you. Just a little bit of lightness in the day to day. I totally understand about taking a break from the pain. I do it too. Please, please please forgive me if I came across harsh, or judgmental, and let me know if I do. I know that when I write it is pretty terse, I'm not good at expressing, and it might come off hard. I am more than willing to learn how to soften my words. *HUGS*

I guess I don't quite understand how we blasted Pebs in all of this. As for me I reached out to someone I thought was in a lot of pain. I did NOT judge her in any way! I do NOT stand in judgement of ANYONE! It's not like this has been the first post from Pebs about drinking. Why shouldn't we be concerned? That is not JUDGEMENT that is concern for someone we care about. I don't know how all this miss communication got started but I am surely feeling the brunt end of it!
I'm actually sorry I ever said a word. If ppl dont' want an honest opinion then I guess I am in the wrong place. Because I thought we were all mothers pulling together, sharing with each other, caring about each other. Trying to SUPPORT each other.
Is that wrong?
Are we not suppose to read the post and repond to them?
Or just respond in how we think the person who posted would want us to respond?
ARe we not suppose to care because we don't PERSONNALLY know each other on a day to day basis?
I'm totally confused to be honest. and upset I reached out, felt Pebs pain, tried and tried different times to let her know that she can get through this day by day. That she has so many ppl who truly care about her. But we who posted because we love and care about her are WRONG and passing JUDGEMENT! If I reread every post not one person was saying they were judging her, And everyone pored thier hearts out to her because they do care and they did feel her pain.

As D'gal put into Word for Today

Ephesians 4:4-26 key verses..14-26

14For in fact the body is not one member but many.
15 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:15&sr=1&t=nkj)If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body," is it therefore not of the body? 16 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:16&sr=1&t=nkj)And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body," is it therefore not of the body? 17 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:17&sr=1&t=nkj)If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? 18 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:18&sr=1&t=nkj)But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. 19 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:19&sr=1&t=nkj)And if they were all one member, where would the body be?
20 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:20&sr=1&t=nkj)But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. 21 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:21&sr=1&t=nkj)And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." 22 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:22&sr=1&t=nkj)No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. 23 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:23&sr=1&t=nkj)And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, 24 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:24&sr=1&t=nkj)but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, 25 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:25&sr=1&t=nkj)that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. 26 (http://www.searchgodsword.org/desk/?query=1co+12:26&sr=1&t=nkj)And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
[/quote]

Isn't this why each one of us is needed here. I hope when I'm weak you will be here to help in what ever way you are lead to help. If I'm offended, continue to love and support me. I don't have to agree with you, but I will value your opinion because I know that you are offering it out of concern. All of us are scared and none of us are perfect so there will be times when our concern will not come across as we intended. I refuse to believe that there is ego or rock throwing going on, if for no other reason than we are all on the same painful walk. And if there is then shame on that person, but I'm not going to give up the rest of my sisters just in case that is true.

MotherJ I couldn' have said it better! I won't give up on anyone here. I am in pain just like the rest of us here! I am not in judgement of anyone! I care about everyone here and will continue to pray for all of us and our families. This road is rocky enough without this pain as well. God Bless Eace of You and I hope your having a wonderful day!

Hey Gurlfriends,
Just let this go, theres alot better things to do. Okay, I had some drinks the other night, I watched a show and shared it, I said some tacky words after reading some responses on prisontalk, not directed at anyone. I tryed to post a sorry video and that didn't help the situation. Enough already about my whole 2 posts that has caused such a stir. While everyone is on here getting all worked up over my posts, I've been out gettin my nails done, going to lunch and took a walk in the woods. So lets go back to my post "enough already' and get me outta the dog house :)

I'm copying this and posting it in both of my terrible posts, so all can see :)

Luv ya
Peb < --- HELP I stuck in the dog house woof woof :)

I posted in the other thread too. Please let my post here be the last, to this thread, it will then get shot out to cyberspace if no one else adds. We want this to go away, and start fresh. It's a brand new day!

Wendy

Amen to that - lets move on and all have a wonderful day :)

hey pebs ! I got my nails done today too :) what color did you do ?

mine are red. I like it. my daughter always says.."why do old people have to always go so dark on their nails?" so I like red and it flusters myh daughter when I do it. of course she lives in another state now, but I do it for her anyhow. tehheee

Hey Gurlfriends,
I am writing this morning because I wanted to enlighten some who may not know the true feeling of forgiveness.

I first want to address all the replys to my earlier post from the other night, don't throw stones unless you are without pain yourself. Each one of us, deals with our own pain and sorrow a different way, if I choose to drink mine once a month, then so be it, how you choose to deal with yours, is your business. My once a month drunk is not hurting anyone but myself, if you don't wanna read my 'so sorry for me' posts, then don't, it was your choice to read. I don't need your pity and sarcasum. What am looking for when I post my feelings of the heart? I suppose love, caring and some kind words to ease the heart of all this pain, is that not what we all need? Harsh words only enhances ones authority to feel powerful over another, so what is the sense in even replying, go ahead, stone me.

Another subject I want to address is those who thrive on others pain. There are those who's curiosity and gossiping, about another's crime and sentencing. Does this ease one's pain? Knowing that another's child is serving long sentence's? Possibly, even death sentences? Does that make one feel better? Can one sleep better, knowing one can have conversation regarding anothers pain? Think twice, go ahead and throw those stones. When one confides in another, that is a privilege, not an opportunity. Have some compassion & love ... I promise compassion and love pays alot more :)

I also watched a program the other night on tv, it was called "The Power of Forgiveness." Wonderful program. FORGIVENESS IS NOT POSSIBLE, UNTIL YOU HAVE COMPASSION IN YOUR HEART. http://thepowerofforgiveness.com/

May you all be Blessed and let us all try to keep a pure heart.

Luv
Peb
Yes! You are so correct in needing to forgive! There is a saying that to forgive is to set a prisoner free than discovering that prisoner was you! So many people hold a grudge and for such minute and senseless things. One should look into themselves hard and deep and find out what their anger is really about. That is the only way to truly grow and be at inner peace. Otherwise one becomes hostile and bitter, and anger manifests itself in every area of their life. Forgiveness is key to everything! I will read the information you gave in the link and thank you!

learningnliving, just a heads-up, you are replying to old threads from last year.

learningnliving, just a heads-up, you are replying to old threads from last year.
Oh Sorry! Apparently everything I do here is either wrong or not allowed.