View Full Version : Games penpals play


chintath
03-19-2008, 04:18 PM
My penpal alluded to games penpal play. I was aware of the ones inmates play, but not sure what games those on the outside who write inmates play. I am assuming he means those who get close then disappear or lie a lot.

Can anyone enlighten me? Has your penpal shared stories of abandonment and betrayal by penpals?

JodyAnnShaw
03-19-2008, 09:38 PM
Unfortunately, in the life of an inmate... pen pals come and go. I imagine the truth is, that rarely are inmates able to actually become friends with their pen pals because they do lost contact. imo, everyone who is locked up has been burned atleast one time.

Just Me 1973
03-20-2008, 10:43 AM
This guy I know had a woman writing him. After a few letters she told him she was in love with him. He thought it was way too soon, but he was longing for someone to love, so he went along with it. Then down the road he finds out she writes another guy there too. He didn't fret it because he thought they were just friends and that he and the other guy were cool. She starts hearing things about "my guy" and believes someone else over the man she's supposedly in love with. She winds up being in love with the other guy. She pops up in my friend's life once in a while, probably when she feels lonely. When she does she claims she still loves him and want him. I think this is a story that shows prisones get played as well...

chintath
03-20-2008, 11:52 AM
I wonder if some are cruel on purpose--think these guys aren't being punished enough. That's sick and sad.

I am sure there are women who are mentally unbalanced writing these men and like you said, some men are vulnerable to these type of predators.

JodyAnnShaw
06-10-2008, 05:14 PM
You know... it's sad that there are women who do this! I would guess that most of them think they're doing something harmless.... stringing along several guys at the same time... but that's just... well- degrading to the woman. Not to mention that she would be hurting someone who is already dealing with so much.
I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round... but that's just sad!


She pops up in my friend's life once in a while, probably when she feels lonely. When she does she claims she still loves him and want him. I think this is a story that shows prisones get played as well...

orchidia_168
06-10-2008, 05:37 PM
there are bad apples on both sides. i recall of a lady who had a fiance behind bars.....this woman has been interviewed by a journalist for an article about love behind bars, few months later it was revealed that she was married and that her huby did not know about the <fiance>.both men were crushed! then we wonder why women who write to penpals have such cheesy reputation....
what is it i don't know, boredom or a certain need for attention :confused:.....roch

aztheride
06-10-2008, 10:58 PM
I think for sure that they've been burned just as many times as people out here have been burned by someone on the inside. It took me a month of convincing my now girlfriend that I would not just disappear, find someone more convenient, or give up on her before she agreed to a relationship. I have one pen pal who doesn't trust anyone at all, and refuses to be hopeful about anything, I know a part of that has been people talking a big game and then never being heard from again. It's a cruel thing, to connect with someone in a situation where they have little or no hope, to become that hope and then to take it away again.

I'm sure a lot of people write to pen pals out of kindness, or because they are lonely. There are others who probably do it just for their own ego. Makes them feel so important, wanted, by so many people, always a letter in the mail box every day. Or if they are looking for romance to hedge their bets by writing several inmates and speaking of love, thinking that at least one of them will come through in the end. I'm going to take my chances and give my heart fully to one girl only.

We hear a lot around here about inmates taking advantage of people, but we have to face the fact that it goes both ways.

barbie113
06-18-2008, 06:43 AM
Wow, It had never even occured to me that we (so to speak) play games on THEM. I was always aware that they could be playing games with us, but...I guess it could go both ways. That's screwed up.
I'm very happy that my guy are honest with eachother and don't play games.
Good thread. Informative. I'm now more aware of the crazys in the world :D

ILoveLeo
06-27-2008, 01:59 AM
My penpal alluded to games penpal play. I was aware of the ones inmates play, but not sure what games those on the outside who write inmates play. I am assuming he means those who get close then disappear or lie a lot.

Can anyone enlighten me? Has your penpal shared stories of abandonment and betrayal by penpals?
Is why do inmates always want to warn you about OTHER inmates??

rottn
06-27-2008, 05:22 AM
A long time ago, we had a member here (banned now) that wanted to break up with her man so she could lose weight before she went to visit him. Basically, she was thinking that he would be there waiting for her when she strolled back into his life. It's a bad thing to think that they will be there when you decide.

Amaranth
06-27-2008, 06:01 PM
oh haha i thought this was about when writing to penpals...do you guys play any games. LOL

sorry..took me a while to figure this thread out

chintath
06-27-2008, 07:14 PM
I recall one penpal who said he had a few pals who wanted erotic letters. Then again, he was happy about that. Turned out they also had emotional problems and were absent a lot and stopped writing him.

I have a lot of penpals who seem paranoid about anyone they haven't met. One finally accused me of being dangerous which is pretty ridiculous if you knew me. I addressed all his concerns and he realized the paranoia was stemming from his own insecurities and he would stop disclosing so much to me about certain things that could incriminate him. I hope we can now move forward.

Amaranth
06-28-2008, 05:11 PM
I have a lot of penpals who seem paranoid about anyone they haven't met. One finally accused me of being dangerous which is pretty ridiculous if you knew me. .
thats kinda strange...i mean if they asked for a penpal....theyre gonna get a stranger writing to them :S

chintath
06-28-2008, 05:21 PM
I think lots of people who have been in prison for a long time don't trust anyone, much less someone on paper. This penpal felt we were only the image we created of one another. This pal is a pretty high profile, political prisoner; he had to be selective about what he revealed. So he was right in a way: I couldn't know him entirely and I was reluctant to disclose too much as well since I have a family to consider.

JodyAnnShaw
07-01-2008, 07:06 PM
I"m very open and honest with all of my pen pals... and sometimes hurt their feelings if they ask me questions. Yea, I can be that brutally honest... but at the same time, they don't expect anything less of me. Be it right or wrong, my life is pretty much an open book... I have no secrets. All the times I messed up in the past, I have dealt with and have no problem talking about. And in the present, I'm pretty adamant about where I'm at in life, so I don't sugarcoat anything.

Unfortunately... I do have a pen friend right now that I feel is 'being played' by one of his pen pals. He asked me straight up what I thought, and I gave him an honest answer. Of course, he's not ready to accept that I will end up being right (lol), but still told him I'd be hear with a shoulder to cry on when she breaks his heart!