Hello to all!

I'm just checking in to let you all know I am still hanging in. I have been a little down the past few days. To make matters worse, I just found out my son has been transferred back to County. I have called everyone 'til I am BLUE in the face and no one knows anything. My son said the County jail is far worse than any place he's been. And of course, the food is terrible. One time, he found "chewed" gum in his food. One of the jailer's told me they transfer the inmates all the time, and this is common practice. I really do believe there's more to it and they're not telling. I am angry and depressed because I can't do anything. I tried to request his return to the other facility, and they pretty much laughed at me. I am trying to hang in, but it is really hard. We have a family reunion scheduled this weekend and I was sort of looking forward to going, especially knowing that my son would be at the other facility. Now that he's in County, I am terrified, and don't want to go at all.

Just wanted to let y'all know I am still out here, just going through some tough times. Y'all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care! PEACE!

CYNDIE-GLAD TO HEAR YOU'RE HANGING IN THERE! STAY POSITIVE! DON'T LET THE LITTLE THINGS DRAG YOU DOWN-I DON'T THINK THEY WILL PROBABLY KEEP HIM AT COUNTY LONG-KEEP US POSTED! AND IF I WERE YOU I WOULD GO TO THE FAMILY REUNION-I JUST WENT TO MINE LAST WEEKEND AND IT FELT GOOD JUST TO BE THERE-TAKE CARE!

Thanks Sherri!

I just got back from our family reunion and I am exhausted! It was really nice and I enjoyed myself. I needed to get away for a while. Since we were gone the entire weekend, I won't be able to see my son until this upcoming weekend. Hopefully he will try to call tonight. I better go now to get things put back in order. Just wanted to drop a few lines to let everyone know I enjoyed myself. PEACE!

Cyndie, Glad you enjoyed yourself, sometimes it helps so much to get away for a little while.

Dear Cyndie,

Hang in there girl. My son has just gone to intake in prison so the jury is still out as far as whether prison is better than county, but in my humble opinion, nothing could be worse than county...

The only good thing was that he was close to visit twice a week (when they has visitiation, often it was cancelled)...

I am glad you went to the family reunion... I think we need to have socialization with others, and.. WE SHOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY WHEN WE DO...

I don't know about you but I keep telling myself that anyways because it seems like whenever I have a good time I start thinking about my son how miserable he must be yada yada then I get on a guilt trip..

Is that typical? My husband can always tell when thats happening too because he keeps saying "Jodi YOU didn't put him there, he put himself there"...

Anyway, I am glad you had some fun.. Take Care,

Hugs,

Jodi

Jodi-You're so right! I started to feel guilty shortly after I arrived at the family reunion, and my husband said, "it'll be alright, and to hang in there." Sometimes it is very difficult to accept the fact that my son will not be home for a while. I don't think I will ever accept it, but I will continue to love my son and do whatever I can to let him know we are still here for him. Take Care!! PEACE!!

Valerie-I really did have a wonderful time, but I felt a little guilty. I tried not to think about my son being locked up, but I eyes got watery only once. Everyday seems to get a little better. Maybe I need another vacation. Take Care!! PEACE!!

CYNDIE:

I JUST SAW YOUR POST AND WANTED TO OFFER A THOUGHT. IT IS NOT UNCOMMON TO FEEL THIS GUILT. BUT, HON, ALWAYS KEEP IN YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THE VERY SAME PERSON YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN. SO IS YOUR SON. HE MADE A MISTAKE... FORGIVE HIM..... THEN, GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE. DO THINGS. DON'T SIT AT HOME AND LET YOURSELF BECOME DEPRESSED. THIS CAN HAPPEN SO VERY EASILY AND WILL DESTROY YOU.

ALSO, KEEP YOUR FAITH... PRAY DAILY.... YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND HOLD YOU HEAD UP AND CONTINUE ON.

I LOVE YOU
DONNA

i often feel guilty doing just simple things like going to a movie that i know my kid would like to see. it can be hard sometimes, but if WE stop living, if WE allow ourselves to to become hopeless, what good are we to our loved ones.

susan where was your son transferring from that he went back to county? i agree, county is the worst.

Hi Donna,

I try very hard not to blame myself, but it is difficult. I try to go on with my normal everyday activities, but my mind wonders off wishing my son would have gone to school the day of the offense, so he would not be away from me right now. I am going to make an appointment to talk to a counselor about my situation. I have been told this may help me a great deal. I will keep you posted. Thanks for responding! PEACE!!

Hi, my name is Barbara and I too have a son in prison. I has taken me nearly twenty years to quite beating myself up. I did the best I could do as a single mom and my son is the first to tell me that. I just didn't want to believe that I could not have changed things in any way at all. You need to take what if's out of your vocabulary(in don't know if thats spelled right but it is close) We are what we are and we are where we are so lets move forward and keep doing our best.

WHAT IT IS, MOTHER'S ARE CONTROL FREAKS... WE TRULY BELIEVE THAT WE CAN CONTROL AND PROTECT OUR CHILDREN AT ALL TIMES. ALL MOTHERS WHO ARE MOTHERS ARE THAT WAY.

WHAT WE MUST REALIZE IS THAT WE CAN ONLY CONTROL OURSELVES. WE CANNOT CONTROL OUR CHILDREN, WE CANNOT CHANGE THEIR CHOICES, WE CANNOT CONTROL SITUATIONS WE CAN ONLY CONTROL HOW WE HANDLE THEM.

MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP US ALL

LOVE
DONNA

Thanks Barbara and Donna!


It get a little bit easier everyday. I try to keep myself very busy. I still can't go in my son's room without "balling." I keep his door closed. I'm not ready to enter his room yet.

I also pray alot which has helped me get through some tough days. We're just hoping the appeal turns out in our favor because new evidence was found. I'm not "holding my breath" since appeals are difficult to beat. I will keep y'all posted. Thanks again!! PEACE!

How right you are! We cannot control what our adult children do. I think I am going to print out your last post and make it a rule to read it (say 5,000 times a day) for starters. What a good point you have. You know it is something that I know but something I can't seem to get through my head.

He made these choices, now he lives with them...

Hugs,

Jodi

Diddo-Jodi,

However, everyday get a little bit easier. I am seeking counseling so I can be healthy and sane for my 9 year old son, and do whatever I can to help my son get a reduction in his sentence. Take care! PEACE!

Cyndie - glad you are back. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

Thanks Danielle!

I just got word that my son was moved back to the private facility where he was initially housed. He likes that one a lot better, because of more freedom. In county, they had him in seg and he only came out for an hour in the day room or for recreation. At the private facility, he is housed with the other population and he can get a job. I know it's not like "home," but he feels comfortable there, and I don't have to worry as much. We prayed for this move, and it happened! You see, prayers are very powerful, and I will continue to pray for everyone at this site. Take care! PEACE!