My husbands birth day is friday (8/9) He is still talking crazy and sending these crazy ass letters and talking about divorce. but i sent him this mushy card. And pictures of the kids how they have changed dover the years. He has only bee gone 3 months, but i sent him a collage of pictures of the kids from birth to now ( they are 9 and 6) I sent him one of those cards that wuld make anyone cry. I am waiting for a letter or call regarding the card and pics. He really hurts my feelings talking about getting a divorce. He did tell me in his last letter that the guys in there say that i will be with some one else by the time he comes home. now my question is how, or do i respond to these letters. sometimes they make me so mad:pissed: that i dont know what to say! help.

I THINK I WOULD RESPOND TO THE LETTER WITH SOMETHING LIKE---BABY, I KNOW YOU ARE REALLY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW. SO AM I. THIS IS A TOUGH SITUATION, FOR BOTH OF US, AND IT IS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE FOR US TO ADJUST TO IT. I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT THAT WE DON'T MAKE ANY RASH DECISIONS RIGHT NOW. I LOVE YOU, AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME. I AM GOING TO BE HERE FOR YOU THROUGH THIS TIME, AND I NEED YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME. WE CAN USE THIS TIME TO GROW EVEN CLOSER OR WE CAN LET IT TEAR US APART. DON'T LET IT TEAR US APART. IT HURTS ME WHEN YOU CALL AND SEND LETTERS TALKING ABOUT DIVORCE. I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY WANT A DIVORCE. I THINK YOU ARE SAYING THOSE THINGS OUT OF ANGER AND FEAR. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO SEE OTHERS HAPPY WHEN THEY ARE NOT. THAT IS WHY SOME OF THE GUYS IN THERE SAY THE THINGS THEY DO TO YOU. PLEASE DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU. TRUST IN OUR LOVE. I NOW IT IS STRONG ENOUGH TO GET US THROUGH. I LOVE YOU. THE KIDS LOVE YOU. NO PRISON WALLS CAN SEPERATE WHAT WE SHARE HEART TO HEART. I TRY NOT TO GET ANGRY BY THE THINGS YOU SAY. BUT IT IS HARD WHEN I KNOW I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN TO BE A GOOD MOTHER AND A FAITHFUL WIFE TO YOU. I NEED YOU TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME! WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER....

WELL, NYK, JUST SOME IDEAS...HOPE IT HELPS....


GOOD LUCK!!

Hi Nykole,
Sorry about what you are going through right now but you sound like a brave and wise woman. I love how you made the photo collage of yall's babies! Now that's enough to melt any ice cold heart.
Nyk, I can totally relate to what you are going through right now 'cause I'm having a similar situation this week. Must be int the prison air or something. I really think there are some sad, lonely men there who have nothing better in life to do than to try to break down the spirit of men, like your husband and my fiance', who have beautiful, lovving families who support them 100%. These meddlesome, pesky inmates are probably jealous and angry at the world . My fiance' said he sometimes felt guilty over all the love and support I show him by sending so much mail because there are guys in his unit who never get a bit of mail. How very sad for them! But.. that's not your fault or your problem. Maybe, you should ask your husband to do what I asked my fiance' to do, buy some **** earplugs and stop listeneing to that negative crap.
Stay strong girl! You have many on your side who are going through the same thing and there is no need to bear your burdens alone. We are all here to support you. Email me and let me know how he responds.
Take care and God bless you and your family!
Cheryl

Hey there Nyk.... I would agree with Sherri... to really focus on just expressing how YOU feel.... (the whole "I" statement thing).... Let him know honestly how you feel, but at the same time offer reasssurance about your level of commitment to him and the love you have for him....
(very well written by the way Sherri... the next time I have an issue with JD I am coming to YOU to help write the letter!!)
:)

sherri The letter you wrote... I am speachless. You captured my true feelings! Thank you so much. I hope you dont mind. I am copying it!

THank you all for your great advice, sheri you are a true Jewel! I wrote my husband a letter like the one you gave me, and he appologized for everything. He said thath he does not want me to sit around and resent him for leaving me alone. he said that he is in there because of greed. He had made LOTS of money (LOTTTS) and the money was coming so fast he got greedy and got caught up. He says that since i am the one that is there and i write and take his calls he lashes out at me. I told him that i do not diserve that and i would rather not even have him call me or write he says that he is sory and it is not my fault. I set him straight!

Sherri, That was great advice.

NYK

SHERRI IS SO RIGHT.... ALSO RIGHT NOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS GUILT IS SHOWING. KNOWING MEN, THEY SOMETIMES FEEL SO GUILTY THAT THEY TRY TO BECOME MYRTRS BY SAYING THAT KINK OF STUFF... LIKE, I THINK WE SHOULD DIVORCE.... BUT INSIDE, THEY REALLY DON'T EVEN MEAN IT...

KEEP THE FAITH GIRL AND DO WHAT SHERRI SUGGESTED. SOUNDS LIKE THAT WILL WORK.

LOVE
DONNA