View Full Version : This me...(for NY members)

11-06-2003, 07:31 AM
Hi, I posted this awhile back in the introductions forum. I notice new NY members are posting their 'intro's here so, for those who might not have seen this is my story...I already had all the great this is for NYers who might not have caught it but see my posts here.
take care,

I found PTO in August. I was in a frantic state of mind because my new husband, who had been transferred in Feb. to a program and should have gone back to his 'home' facility once the program was over, had been put in a facility 70 miles from his home facility instead.
Since finding PTO I have read a lot of posts and I have responded to some. I get a lot of 'community' feelings from PTO. I am not much for chat rooms and I havent' figured out how to get into PTO chat but I like being abble to post and read others, lend support when I can, etc. I would answer emails sent PM.

My story...WHEEEE! haha I had a photo in the local newspaper related to an advocacy issue July '01. In Sept., Sept 8, I got a letter at my workplace from an inmate who had seen the article.
Wellll, I am much tooo smart to fall for that stuff, right? ha But, for some reason, I could not throw this letter away. I did not even read it for the first month (9/11 happened and I was a basketcase even though I live in upstate/central NY) but I could not force myself to toss it out! Especially once I read his very sensitive and intelligent comments about the advocacy issue in the article my photo had been a part of.
Finally in Nov. '01, I sent a brief, business like , typed reply. We started writing. I thought I was an idiot!!
Then 'soemthing happened' and ever since, I just accept that this, and WE, were meant to be because similar things have happened for us over and over and over again:
Around Christmas a friend told me about a book, I went out and tried to buy it but couldn't find a copy and it was Christmas rush so I just said to myself "I'll get it later".
This new 'penpal' sent me a surprise package for Christmas ("where do inmates get Christmas gift stuff?" I thought?!?).
When I opened the package I found a tiny teddy bear,(yes I had told him I loved teddybears!) a book, AND THE BOOK I HAD BEEN TRYING TO BUY!!
NO, I had not mentioned it to him in any way!! We called it a "Whoa!!" and we have had so many of these since that first one. smiles There was(is) serious 'soulmate' stuff going on!!
I met him, in person, for the first time. April '02, when he walked into the room and up to the table my head and my heart went "oh oh!" in a big smiley way!! (Thankfully, as it turned out, he was totally pleased, too)
I'm conservative, sensible and there was no way I had any intention or desire to marry anyone. I'd been that route. Sure, I wanted to find a a partner but marriage, nahhh, why bother!?!.
He asked me to marry him Sept 2002, these things take forever in the system, PLUS he got transferred out to that program BUT EVERYTHING fell into place and we were married May 2003!! giiggles
My soulmate (and new husband!) is THE most caring and sensitive man I have ever met. He got his BA degree while inside. He has been in a long time....sigh. (He was out in mid '90's, being productive, full time work, staying out of trouble, paying his taxes, etc...the PO put him back in on a technicality, for 10 more yeras. sigh) I can't wait til he gets home Sept. 2005!!!
From the postings on PTO, I realize how lucky I am to be able to see him once a month. We write constnatly!
I focus on the day and live it with as much joy as I can come up with. Then I look back at chunks of time that have passed and I am delighted!! The time IS passing!! I don't see how I could go along, happily, looking at and waiting for two years to end!
So, that's my story,, 'our' story. I am learning about a world I never had any experience with, it's frightening the things inmates and their loved ones have to go through sometimes, it's frustrating and sad and yet, here we all are, supporting one another and that is terrific, and there is humor and info and I said: community. Thanks.

11-06-2003, 08:52 AM
Congrats on finding the perfect relationship in a not-so-perfect circumstance. You, like myself and many others on this board, have found love when you have least expected it and with someone you would have never predicted. Just want to say I'm glad there are so many people like you who have the guts to follow their heart and what they believe in even if it is non-conventional.

Emilios heart
11-06-2003, 11:47 AM
Thanks for sharing your story with us Caprione.

11-06-2003, 11:58 AM
Nice intro -- I myself never posted one, I just jumped right in, I think on the wedding forum b/c I had just gotten married (May 2003 for me too!) and was looking for "something" though at the time I wasn't exactly sure what. We met thru a mutual friend who was at the time inside with my hubby, we started writing, and eventually visiting, and one day after he asked me for the millioneth time I said yes, and actually followed thru (I reneged one time before and it was almost the death of the relationship) and decided he is the love of my life and nothing is going to change that. Story has similarities to yours ... I never expected the relationship to really go anywhere, but one day I realized I really, really loved him -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- every last drop of it and we complemented each other very well. We just got hit at the board with another 24 months, so we're dealing with that but things really have never been better! Sounds strange but it's true. I too have learned so much over the years with respect to this system and how it works - things I had no idea about and it has certainly been eye opening to say the least. Thanks again for posting your intro again for us NYers (or in my case former NYer but my heart remains there) - I'm always encouraged when I read stories such as yours ...


11-06-2003, 01:41 PM

Yes, I kept saying this can't be what it looks like...but it sure is and how great for those of us who find it and, more you said..... allow it to be once we have found it! smiles
It's fun to know we aren't the only ones and it is very helpful too! You and I do seem to have several similarities. I am sorry time has been added to your wait...sigh. I am curious where your guy is, if you don't mind sharing. If you do, I totally unhderstand!
PM me if you want to.
take care,

11-06-2003, 02:54 PM
Thanks regarding the hit ... things looked like good, no tickets, doing well in programs, from what I heard they loved the letter I wrote on his behalf but they stated the ubiquitous "nature of the crime" as the reason. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry this time (it was his 2nd trip) but I read asha bandele's new book Daughter right around the time we found out it wasn't happening this trip and I cried throughout the book 'cos it was kinda sad and then next thing I know, I was bawling big time ... the book wasn't that sad! :)

My sweetie is in Oneida right now ... I'm praying that we'll catch a break (pretty please w/sugar on top) and he can get transferred somewhere w/trailers sometime in the next few months ... but I know that there are not that many mediums w/FRP.

roc city girl
11-06-2003, 05:43 PM
Thanks for sharing, I am not even sure if i posted an intro here or not. If i haven't i will soon.

11-06-2003, 06:54 PM
Crying is good!! One of my 'lines is " If it hurts a lot, find the humor in it". BUT I definitely make sure I get the crying in! I keep a couple of movies for just that reason! (Bridges of Madison County, Ghost, Beaches...) It let's us move on again and releases a lot of the stress that can make us sick.
Oh, I know about the mediums and the FRPs...sigh . My guy was in an FRP medium for 4 years (with no problems or tickets, etc), they sent him to a 6 month program and he was supposed to go back to the facility he came from (as my story says) but instead they sent him to another place and it's a non-FRP!! pout pout! I've heard it's almost a pattern, a guy gets married and suddenly ends up at a non-FRP facility!!
Our first priority was to put in for FRP when he got back to his 'home' facility, but they do what they want and now the option isn't there for us either. He is in Wyoming CF. So, we are just cooling our heels. (We married while he was in the facility for the program.)
take care and maybe we will chat again.