BIG TIME

Sugar why are you crying big time..

Aw, Babydoll... What's up? I know this all sucks, but what's going on right now?

It's just a messed up situation because we have a baby involved...and he came over to the house today and slept. (he works graveyard, so he normally sleeps during the day).

I thought he was staying at his dad's. Anyway, my brother watches the baby at our house...and...well, my dad was pissed that he was at the house (my man)...I agree, it was weird.

So I call him up like.."What's going on? I thought you were at your dad's for now? We only need you a couple of hours tomorrow and Friday...otherwise, I thought you were staying with your dad."

Anyway...my dumb @ss goes into "you're not doing anything to fix it" blahblahblah - SETTING MYSELF UP - and he goes "Just stop." WHY DO I HAVE TO STOP? - he hangs up on me. Then he won't take my call.

:angry:
His dad says to not take calls from him...I know he's right. I'm SO UPSET BECAUSE I cannot believe the...apathy. I think he knows things are about to turn upside down and I fear he has lost all love for me.

He's the love of my life and I feel ultimate rejection. And I feel pathetic about THAT.

I'm calling a counselor as soon as I get off work.

hugs- hang in there

Aw, Honey- I'm so sorry you have to face all of this...and I'm sorry to have to chew on you, but he can't be at the house if you are, he just can't, Sweetheart, it can't lead anywhere good and will only make it harder to resolve anything.

He'll either take steps or he won't, but it CAN'T be your problem, there is nothing you can do to make him do anything and trying to press the issue could get you hurt or even killed... like for real, dead, killed.

I do not question that you love him, but I swear to you, the guy who lays a violent hand on you is NOT the "love of your life", he's just a stop along the way because the real love of your life will be someone who would never give you reason to fear them and someone you'd want your kids to look to as a standard for their own lives.

:o

I'm a smart girl....and I think part of the problem is I KNOW all these things to be true.

But matters of the heart paired with matters like THIS are just plain difficult....and I swear...even the smartest person could find themselves dumbfounded in a situation like this.

You are right, LeBeau...right as rain.

Oh, yes, you are right- it's way easy to be "dumbfounded in a situation like this"... that's why we keep stating the obvious and using small words;)

As I said in another thread, sad is OK, mad is OK, but injured or dead just isn't. Since those are your choices, you have to make this one with your brain, not your heart. . . we know where your heart will lead.

*sighs* yeeeeeeeeeah

It's just a messed up situation because we have a baby involved...and he came over to the house today and slept. (he works graveyard, so he normally sleeps during the day).

I thought he was staying at his dad's. Anyway, my brother watches the baby at our house...and...well, my dad was pissed that he was at the house (my man)...I agree, it was weird.

So I call him up like.."What's going on? I thought you were at your dad's for now? We only need you a couple of hours tomorrow and Friday...otherwise, I thought you were staying with your dad."

Anyway...my dumb @ss goes into "you're not doing anything to fix it" blahblahblah - SETTING MYSELF UP - and he goes "Just stop." WHY DO I HAVE TO STOP? - he hangs up on me. Then he won't take my call.

:angry:
His dad says to not take calls from him...I know he's right. I'm SO UPSET BECAUSE I cannot believe the...apathy. I think he knows things are about to turn upside down and I fear he has lost all love for me.

He's the love of my life and I feel ultimate rejection. And I feel pathetic about THAT.

I'm calling a counselor as soon as I get off work.


I know exactly how you feel, because I felt the same way. He was the absolute love of my life and boy did he know it and boy did he use it!! It was so hard to fight my feelings that I had and actually still have somewhat! Anyway, keep it all in perspective and don't "dream", because all those nicey nice dreams that you have of how it could be are just that! Not trying to be mean, just trying to keep it real. It was very hard for me to keep it real, but I got to a point where I had to. It's hard! You have to do what is right for you! Everything else will fall into place. Just put yourself first! Good luck!

i agree with lovin,keep it all in perspective. i thought too he was the love of my life,and stayed with high hopes. he was such a good talker,knew how to get things out of people and...out of me. instead of love of my life it became nightmare of my life. it was hard to end it,he played mind games,threaded me, 1 week he was all sweet,week two i was a h..., a s...., a p,.....time heals wound.feelings are the toughest to fight,not the abuser,but our own feelings.like lovin says, don't dream about the <what if>,trust me,i have dreamed and went nowhere.take careI know exactly how you feel, because I felt the same way. He was the absolute love of my life and boy did he know it and boy did he use it!! It was so hard to fight my feelings that I had and actually still have somewhat! Anyway, keep it all in perspective and don't "dream", because all those nicey nice dreams that you have of how it could be are just that! Not trying to be mean, just trying to keep it real. It was very hard for me to keep it real, but I got to a point where I had to. It's hard! You have to do what is right for you! Everything else will fall into place. Just put yourself first! Good luck!

You've just got to get him completely out of your life. Arrange other child-care, don't answer calls, and learn not to sorrow about his love (maybe) dying.
"Love of your life" is a maybe. . .and right now the reason you can say that is that you haven't really had time to meet the guy yet who loves you madly, you love madly and no abuse is in the picture. You've been occupying yourself with the wrong guy, so the right one can't get a hearing!

You've just got to get him completely out of your life. Arrange other child-care, don't answer calls, and learn not to sorrow about his love (maybe) dying.
"Love of your life" is a maybe. . .and right now the reason you can say that is that you haven't really had time to meet the guy yet who loves you madly, you love madly and no abuse is in the picture. You've been occupying yourself with the wrong guy, so the right one can't get a hearing!


Sounds kinda like the advice I give my older, single friend who's all about this 'unavailable' guy...I tell her "Quit being so wrapped up in someone that you can NOT have. He's someone else's. Once you get that clear in your head...you'd be amazed the vibe you put off to opening your own availability to other available guys/"

My dad's coming over this weekend to help get stuff ready for the move.

Mine was the love of my life too. Broken nose and all. All the love he gave me after always made up for it. We had kids and I did not want my girls to think that men treated women like this. cause the Normal ones dont. It took me along time and few mess's here and there but I really have found love it feels so good to be able to know that no matter what kind of mood he is in I will not feel any of his anger on my face or any other part of me. And my girls now that their father does not treat woman right and that men should love you not hurt you like that.. It is not the good love.