Well, this is one forum I would never have dreamed in a million years I would be posting in. But someone very dear to me has just been severly injured by an abusive partner. The mother of my children is in the hospital tonight with a broken hip. The whole story is not clear yet; it's just known that he did it. I am not looking for sympathy or being console although those are good things. I would really like to know what actions can be taken now? He was already on a probation stemming from a problem with alcohol. My daughter is afraid her mother will not press charges. But is the hospital not obligated to report spousal abuse the same way they do child abuse? Something has to be done; this man can not just get away with this scott free. If her mother will not press charges is there any way my daughter can do it? I just don't want this man to think he can just keep doing this and go on with life like nothing ever happened. And I do not understand why my exwife ever got into allowing this to be done to her. I was never abusive to her in our relationship and her parents were not abusive. Guess I better stop now before I write an entire chapter. I am just looking for some answers.
Thank you all for being here.

Krummy, some states take over and press charges whether the victim wishes to or not. Hopefully your state is one of those. If not and she won't see if you can on your daughters behalf on the chance that if he will do this to his wife he will also do it to her daughter. I think I would be on the phone to the prosecutors office.

Krummy, is your daughter of age? If so, she could contact the Police Department and see if anything has been filed. If not, beings that you are her father, I would think you could call on your daughter's behalf. Especially if your daughter is living there.

Bless your ex-wife's heart.

Nance

Thank you tigrldy but Texas is one that will press charges even if the spouse doesn't. But if it is not reported how will charges be filed. That was why I was asking if my daughter could report it or if the hospital itself couldn't report it. Our daughter is a surgical tech at the hospital where she was taken and the head of the department there is making sure she is safe with security escorting her every where she goes there. Then I really don't think she would be in any danger at home because her husband is a pretty big guy and I know the abuser wouldn't want any part of him

Nance, yeah my daughter is grown and married. That is why I was hoping maybe she could file the charges or at least report it. She is just heartbroken over this. Her mother just went through a double mastectomy back in the summer and is still taking radiation treatments. This is something she does not need or deserved.

Is there a social worker at the hospital? A friend of mine refused to press charges and her sister spoke to the social worker at the hospital as she was afraid to go to the police. They are obligated by law to report abuse.

I am so very sorry to hear this.

Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate it since I have never dealt with anything like this I had no idea where to start. Missing I will find out about the social worker.

At the very least your daughter could talk to a police officer who could pay a visit. A report not be made...but talking doesn't hurt. I also think a social worker should intervene. Good luck to everyone involved...

Thank you meganlea. No wonder PTO is such a great site. With ladies like you guys it couldn't help but be great.

Krummy - there can, if the evidence warrants it, be an assault charge levied. As to whether the entire relationship has contained abuse is another question. If it doesn't rise to that level, then the state might not press charges on it's own. And then again, depending on the state, it could. It all depends on local rules, but if it gets reported (by your daughter) as domestic abuse, then the state is almost guaranteed to pick it up. The only requirement would be that she not say she tripped on the stairs, or some such excuse.

Actually, come to think of it, if he broke her bone all that is needed is a police report and a detective should be assigned since it would automatically be a felony... All police have to do is go to the hospital. Her medical records and the testimony of anyone she told that it was him that did it would be enough for a conviction in most situations...

That is the best news tonight. She did tell her friend who took her to the hospital that he did it. So maybe all is not lost.

Krummy, will keep her and your daughter in my prayers. I'm sure this is scary for both.

Nance

Krummy -- I'm happy our suggestions are giving you a more positive outlook. It's refreshing to see that you still care enough about the mother of your child to go to these lengths to get her assistance even though the two of you aren't together any longer. I wish everyone involved the best. Keep us updated, if you can!

Well guys things just go from bad to worse. The hospital couldn't do a stress test to see if she was strong enough to go through surgery. Two different places on heart damaged due to earlier heart attack and the latest chemo and radiation. Then a cat scan of her chest shows an ambulism in the lung. Don't know what that is yet. Then there may a problem with her bones being to brittle to undergo standard procedure for repairing the hip.
On the bright side though, my daughter is going to file a report today and get the ball rolling. Thank you all for your support and kind words I really appreciate it. Yes, I do still care enough about her and what happens to her. She is the mother of my children and there will always be that tie.
I would just like to thank you all for your wonderful words and help with this. God bless each of you.

I'm sorry to hear your family has been effected by this Krummy:grouphug: I hope the man doesn't get away with it.

I just wanted to give everyone an update. My exwife had surgery Wednesday and had her hip repaired and is doing well. The two damaged places on her heart are not life threatening, and the spot in the lung is not serious. My daughter has filed a report with the police about the incident so I assume it is just a matter of time now. Thank you all for your wonderful heart felt advice and kind words.

I'm glad to hear you ex wife is doing better.
It was heart felt, the damage this man has done to your family. It's sad that we don't see what we do to the one's we love when we are trying to hold on to someone that abuses us and really doesn't care but we feel the need to cover the abuse and are in denial about them hurting us. I hope it all works out for her and when her hip heals she RUNS... ((hugs)) sokie

Do you have another update Krummy? I hope all is well an that your ex wife is recovering well. I hope your daughter has been able to find support as well.

Just to fill everyone in. My ex is doing really well. Recouperating just fine. She has told my daughter as soon as she is able she is going to file the statement against him so he will not be able to get to her again.

~Krummy~
I'm so glad to hear that your ex is recovering nicely and that she is going to follow through with charges against her abuser.
You know I keep you and your family in prayer.

Thank you golden. Latest news. Charges have been filed. He is to be picked up tonight. Aggravated assault with bodily harm.

YEA! So glad she is following through and he will not get another chance at her.

Krummy, I'm so glad that your ex is willing to press charges. This is going to improve her life greatly!

I am with Nimuay on this Krummy and I am glad she has a support system like you and your daughter to back her...support is a key thing in moving on and healing from what I am seeing. :thumbsup: (hugs) sokie

I would like to say thank you all for your support and kind words in this matter. Even though my ex and I couldn't live together we have remained good friends and I still care about what happens to her.
Thank you all and may God bless

Not a problem Krummy because you are always here for us. Isn't that what having friends is all about?:grouphug: