personally I think the verbal was worse..hurt more and is harder for me to forget and get over.. I feel like I will never stop hearing him call me dumb, retarted, crazy, and a pain in the ass.. in my head... in a way it is some how easier to deal with getting hit is seems more to the point.. if that makes sense.. the put downs seem so mean and hurt to the core..

Hon, I don't think it matters which is worse, frankly. The end result is that you end up with half a soul either way. If you grew up terribly proud of your looks then words like "ugly" "skank" and such won't change the actual reaction from others to your looks, but a black eye or a big scar will change things forever.

almost 30 years ago I was in an abusive relationship. (college sweetheart), verbal abuse started, verbal abuse increased, physical started, (I was pregnant with our second child), I left. 3 years later, found out he was abusing our kids. (so). He hasn't seen them since, (his parental rights were terminated). You deserve better, build up your self esteem, I've been married to a nice man now for 20 years. He treats me and the kids well. My oldest son from the previous relationship still has many emotional scars, he's in prison. If somewhere in your head, you think that there just may be a man out there that's better for you then this guy, then you deserve to leave this guy, and find that man. I tell my girls, a man is supposed to treat a woman like Christ treats His church.... your guy is no man. A real man doesn't need to put someone down to make themself feel good. You can have a better relationship, I'm living proof positive of that!

I have been through both physical and mental and I think that the mental is worse. Don't get me wrong they are both bad. The mental abuse drains your mind and body more than what you realize. It stays with you forever and can make you feel worthless and depressed. When mine was physical abuse I felt alot different about myself than when I went through the mental. I dropped to 97 pounds, realized that I hadn't eaten in 3 weeks and stopped caring about my kids and myself. I got rid of that marriage and will never allow myself to be in that situation again.

Each is awful in its own way- the words are maybe a little more insidious because they keep ringing in your head (There are a few choice insults that still replay for me when I'm having trouble responding sexually- THAT sure helps the situation:mad:) and words are easier to try to dismiss- "Oh, you're being too sensitive" "You know I didn't mean it like that" "Why does everything have to be a big fight with you?"

But then again, no one ever went to the hospital or the morgue from being hit with hard words- and I don't know many women who have learned the oh-so- attractive-and -confident "Wince and Duck" reflex from a verbal abuser.
Like I said- each has its own special "charm"

(Pardon the sarcasm there, I'm on my first cup of coffee)

Both are equally as bad, the one difference, verbal abuse does not leave a bruise on the outside for all to see, you have the bruises on the inside. I was stuck in a horrible relationship with a man who I swear is the antichrist reborn. I have been called every name in the book. I’ve been mad at many people but could never speak to them how he did to me, and it was only me. To everyone else he was the nicest guy.

Now that I have a clear head the damage from him still lingers. I tend to more sensitive to people’s “joking”. I’m very possessive over my space. I've been on the receiving end of both, and they hurt same.

Hi, me again. I need to get a life cos it feels like strangers on the net are the only 'friends' I have. And yet I feel so lucky!!!. Anyway I know it sounds a bit (well a lot) sick but I would pray and sometimes even beg to be hit rather than have to hear the disgusting comments or revolting threats. He was such a charmer!!. here's a pet name I have never told any one- "Come Junkie" or the timeless classic "Sloppy Snatch". I'm sorry but I have not had the guts to discuss these things even in counselling and I dont mean to lay them off on you guys but you see a bit of what I mean about preferring a smack in the head?. The favorite threat had to be " I'm gonna bring all my mates round to F*** you so I can watch". I think I really did want to be hit instead. There is no pain physically any more but I still listen for noises at night in case he has found us and has sent someone to follow through for him. But that is just me I guess. How sad that our dreams and wishes for our futures ended up with "I wish he had hit me and shut his dirty mouth". The bite marks and bruises are gone but the words are with me every day. Once again I'm sorry for putting this out there but I can't make myself say the words out loud yet and maybe this is a step in the right direction???????. I need to scream. I need to make him understand but I know I never will. I want him to know and feel guilt that this is the mess he left to raise his daughters in. Boy- I just cant shut up now can I. WHAT A CHANGE A DAY MAKES!!!!!. THANK YOU AND I'M SORRY.

I have been thru both, and I must agree the words are the worst, bruises heal and we all learn how to hide them. Words tear out our hearts and shatter our self-confidence. I have been out of the relationship for 2 years (the last one) and I still hear his voice if I mess up at something or forget to pay a bill on time.I still think of myself as ugly and fat, even tho I know that I'm not. The scars that he gave me and the broken bones all healed.I will never be able to look at a man in the same light- I will always flinch if they raise their hand too fast or their voice too loud, I am always defensive and looking for when the first hit will come. I am always expecting it wether it is from my friends of 20 years or a man I just met. It's all the same to me a man now posses a threat to me, yes I'm in counsiling for it but it will take awhile for me to get over it.I hope that no woman goes thru what I went thru but I know that wqe all blame ourselves and we stay because we love them and they have beaten us down so far mentaly that we think they are the only ones that want us.

Hi Billsgirl, if we have not gone through what you went through then it was something very close to it. Thats why we are here. Mine was very careful to be sure I never needed a hospital visit but that was to protect himself not me. I was not his first Possession so he had already had a lot of practice on how to "do it right" by the time he got to me. My mother still ducks and covers and my father died 22 years ago, I don't know if that reaction ever stops but try not to blame all men cos in a way it makes us the eternal victim and gives them a power they don't deserve. My ex would love to know that I still feel that I could never trust a man to get close to me and I guess that us living a good life could be the best revenge we could ever take on the control freaks from our past because that is what they tried to take from us- the ability to feel free and sfe and happy. Good luck and keep trying Billsgirl - DONT GIVE UP- That would mean he won.

It's funny, I've never winced . . . but maybe that's because my ex-husband kicked or choked. He did kick hard, though I've since been kicked by horses - horses are worse, but they don't do it for emotional reasons, so I can forgive them!

Nim you are a rare being. Though it would be hard to get mad at a horse. I have not been around them since I was a teen and miss that a lot. Kicking and choking were not methods of control my ex used but the thought of not being able to breath is a terrifying one. I had a recurring nightmare at one stage that he was pushing and holding my head under water that I think may have been symbolic of my feeling of drowning and that was bad enough for me!!.

Personally, I have to say physical abuse ( a beating ) is worse. Sure words can tear you up and it takes times to heal from the inside but when you get that person out of your head you can move forward. A beating, I'm talking a real beating here that leaves more then bruises, that is the hardest to get past when you have to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and be reminded. I know I will never be the same, I know I will never trust another like I did that maniac. :no: And my hate runs deep.....

Sokie, some of us were luckier than you, and it SUCKS that any of us had to deal with any of it, but at least we don't all have to cope with still seeing scars. What we see reflected back in our own eyes is bad enough but we are the ones who recognise it,not the whole world. Hate is hard to feel and can be exhausting, I don't think I will ever learn to live with it but maybe one day we can get past it. That is when we learn to really live again - so I am told!. I only know what bits I have read on here about your past and your pain and I can honestly say I dont know how you have coped. I love your strength and your dignity Sokie, and you are strong even if you don't think so, you are still here putting one foot in front of the other every day. For me the echo's of his voice are the thing that still make it hard to get out of the house, I dont think I would be able to handle the scars if I had them too. You are MIGHTY SOKIE.:bow:.

I volunteered for a Rape and Domestic Violence Crisis Center some years ago. One of the first things they taught us was that the verbal abuse was worse than any physical abuse because it was a wound that cut deep yet no one could see it and thus there would not be any validation that it happened by those we loved. I think that is sort of what billsgirl1 was saying too.

I volunteered for a Rape and Domestic Violence Crisis Center some years ago. One of the first things they taught us was that the verbal abuse was worse than any physical abuse because it was a wound that cut deep yet no one could see it and thus there would not be any validation that it happened by those we loved. I think that is sort of what billsgirl1 was saying too.

And I hope no one believes I meant verbal abuse as not being devastating too. Believe me, I got my share of that too. :o It has just been easier for me to believe the things he told me not to be true because I know I have never been a sl*t, I know I am not stupid (that one took sometime to see), and it has taken me awhile to see that I actually do have people that love me and want to be around me.
It's all bad and I hope any person in the situation of being talked down to or beat gets the hell away from whomever is doing it to them.

Thank you, I guess it came across wrong. In a way I hate all men now, but there are very dear friends of mine that are men that I love so I guess I am mixed up. I don't hold it against all men, I just have a hard time believing them and I just keep wondering when they will turn into monsters. I lost alot due to Mike and he was my third marriage and they were all abusive, but he was the worst. We were only married 6 months before he was in prison. Before that I had put him in jail in 2 different states.I lost my baby that I shoulda never been pregnant with and my 2 youngest girls they were 11 and 13 when my mother took them and I haven't seen them since, so I have a lot to work thru and reconcile before I start to look at men or even think about trusting them again.I am working on it and I hope that noone else has to go thru what I did before they realise that there IS a better life out there.God bless all of you and keep you safe.

Don't worry about trusting men Billsgirl, just try to learn to trust yourself. A lot of the time we end up with these losers cos we don't trust ouselves so when we find some P***K who sounds like he has the answers then we fall at their feet. You know the signs so have a little faith in you and understand that you are an adult and can make your own decisions. Its so easy to fall into their trap cos when someone is telling you what to do and who to be then the pressure of thinking for yourself is gone. Unfortunately so is everything else. Keep your chin up and Trust Yourself and see where that takes you, could you possibly do any worse than what you have endured alredy?. Worry about men when you are happy with yourself. These are my goals - I'm still learning.

Having been through both also I do not know which is the worse. This husband was the roughest mess I have ever been in and was a master of verbal assault which confused and left me exhausted. I did not even think it was abuse. My mother was verbal, and I'm bipolar and lash out with a vengence so at first it seemed normal but them it became constant and for hours and hours.. He should have worked for the Nazis or police in the interrogation dept. He could have broke the best down in mins.
I have always picked unhealthy relationships. I do not hate men and actually through all of this I have learned to love them because I have seen some very good, kind men and I see that it has been a problem in me that has caused me to pick these types of men.

I don't think you picked this type of man Lilith, I think HE picked YOU. And he did it because you are an OBVIOUSLY kind and caring and generous person. They picked us cos they know what their target is, and it's not cos we're dumb it's cos we care. I will refuse to become a cold hard b***h to protect myself I will just avoid men until I trust myself a little more. Nim is right, I have learned a lot and I need to trust that I know and understand things on a different level now. If I don't learn to carry myself with a little more confidence then I will surely attract another HIM. Anyway this has become my understanding of things very recently and as soon as I can start facing leaving the house again then I am going to try to put it into practise!!!. I will hold my head up and look people in the eye !!!!!, (one day......)

I have been through both and although the physical really hurts when its being done I have found that the mental and verbal abuse is still with me 2 years after my last atack. There are days when im in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror and i hear his voice. "Your pathetic, look at you, no one will want you, Your ugly, your fat, why do you think i cheat, cuz i cant stand making love to you," those are the things i hear (in his voice) and it breaks me down time after time, what if he is right?
Yea he may not be breaking my ribs anymore or punching me till i blead, but his voice i cant get out of my head......... so for me it is that part of my life that continues to destroy my spirit, even now.......

i feel that both are completely unacceptable!!!!!!

Having been through both also I do not know which is the worse. This husband was the roughest mess I have ever been in and was a master of verbal assault which confused and left me exhausted. I did not even think it was abuse. My mother was verbal, and I'm bipolar and lash out with a vengence so at first it seemed normal but them it became constant and for hours and hours.. He should have worked for the Nazis or police in the interrogation dept. He could have broke the best down in mins.
I have always picked unhealthy relationships. I do not hate men and actually through all of this I have learned to love them because I have seen some very good, kind men and I see that it has been a problem in me that has caused me to pick these types of men.
i see myself in alot of what you just wrote! a very dear friend(male) of mine is unbelievably kind to me. he tells me all the time that he believes in me. i don't hate men because i realize i bear some responsibility in having picked a couple of my exes who were abusive and also in not walking away after the first time abuse happened. was too busy making excuses for them and convincing myself that they would change.

You bear NO RESPOSIBILITY, They hold the cards until we walk away. I'ts not our fault that we tried to help them, They are Not Misunderstood they are EVIL. We have got to stop trying to figure out what makes them the way they are. It's how we get sucked back in, they don't need help or understanding they need to be alone!. I am sick of trying to work it all out, Why me?, Why is he like this, What did I do to deserve this?. I give up and make no excuses for him anymore. Don't stop caring about people (that would make us like them) and don't let them change who we are (that would mean they won) just know that if you come across another one of these nasty men that you can't help or change them and leave them ALONE.....

personally I think the verbal was worse..hurt more and is harder for me to forget and get over.. I feel like I will never stop hearing him call me dumb, retarted, crazy, and a pain in the ass.. in my head... in a way it is some how easier to deal with getting hit is seems more to the point.. if that makes sense.. the put downs seem so mean and hurt to the core..


DEFINITELY! I would pray that he would hit me!

Been through both in my life..
My opinion..VERBAL some has stuck and still haunts me from my childhood...

DEFINITELY! I would pray that he would hit me!
And I don't mean to be rude here but have you ever been hit? Have you ever had the person you trust the most in the world try to kick the life out of you?
I listen to this in group everyday and people try to explain to me that being beat heals......really? Sometimes those beatings don't as they leave scars that a person gets to look at everyday, they get those grim reminders and a flashback or some night sweats because they live them in their minds night after night.
I've had both done to me, it would be easier to forget if I didn't have the reminders. Just my opinion.

Any abuse has it's own way of scarring.....but I found in the end that I used to hate the verbal more because it often came out of nowhere and "got" me. The physical always came after a major tirade so it used to build and build...until I used to wish for and often provoke the beating because getting it over and done with was better than listening to all the shouting and just waiting for it to happen.

:(Both are bad, I have seen women walk away from relationships faster when they are knocked around and those seem to get back into relationships faster than the women who have been mentally abussed, those women who are mentally abused seem to stay longer in the relationship --, and in the long run does a lot of more damage to them. Thier self esteem is gone.

I have had both - and I believe that the verbal abuse is worse. The cuts and bruises and broken bones from the physical eventually heal - but the wounds from verbal abuse are so deep that I don't think they ever completely go away. Someone can say something that in no way means to hurt you - but it reminds you of your abuser and those verbal wounds are once again ripped open.

. Someone can say something that in no way means to hurt you - but it reminds you of your abuser and those verbal wounds are once again ripped open.


You know what haunts me, is when my husband used to call me those ugly names, fat, stupid, pathetic, no one will want you, i cant stand sleeping with you,,,, you start to believe that, as a matter of fact i stood in the mirror the other day and said some of those same words to myself, as i did i could hear his voice. My husband has been gone for 2 years and in those two years i have not been approached, no one has tried to date me, no one has taken interest, so in my mind (as warpped as he made me) i had to say to myself was he right>?????
Now my sane mind tells me no of course not, but we have our days when we dont get out of bed, Im on day 6 now, when those words cut deeper than any blade ever could, stright to the core of your soul......

We all have our opinions at what is worst. And then those of us that look in the mirror, visit the baby's grave, and try to find forgiveness that we didn't see it to walk away before it got really bad.

We all have our opinions at what is worst. And then those of us that look in the mirror, visit the baby's grave, and try to find forgiveness that we didn't see it to walk away before it got really bad.

Sokiegirl if you have lost a baby to violence, Im so sorry , that is so sad . If you are refering to looking in the mirror as your fault , no its not your fault..

But you know what my friend? I go threw my own personal hell everyday because I wasn't smart enough to get out. I started running again last week and it makes me feel better I visit her again even tho I know she is gone.
Some people, I know, believe me to be harsh on this site but if I can stop one person from losing their child or being scarred for life :shrug:I'm on them. I don't even mean to be mean........I'll be 20 next year.

But you know what my friend? I go threw my own personal hell everyday because I wasn't smart enough to get out. I started running again last week and it makes me feel better I visit her again even tho I know she is gone.
Some people, I know, believe me to be harsh on this site but if I can stop one person from losing their child or being scarred for life :shrug:I'm on them. I don't even mean to be mean........I'll be 20 next year.

Thats great you run everyday,,,I use to and actually i miss it,,i just been a little lazy lately..Keep visiting:) do what ever makes you feel better. I dont believe you are harsh, and im sure alot would agree with me( I have spent the last hour and half reading your posts.( not all--a lot) and there is nothing wrong with saying your story,, I understand you wantiing to help stop someone else from loosing a child to violence,,,your words will help some. Your not mean:) And I would have never quessed you were 20 at least not in the first posts I read,,But im a mom of kids that are,,hum,,better not say I try to forget my own birthday now:D But you are a very smart young woman and Im sure your parents are proud of you ,,,keep your head up girl :thumbsup:

I pray for everyone that was abused. i was abused a little growing up, beat left welt marks for days that kinda thing. My husband is very controlling. but he don't abuse me, he does yell when he gets mad and some of it is kinda nasty and hurtful...but abuse?????

If you feel small and scared when he gets angry, if you do not feel safe to speak your mind, if "Very controlling" means that you can't wear what you like, have access to the household funds, talk to your friends and family and have them visit/visit them regularly, work, drive, have sex only when BOTH of you want to and come and go without having to answer for your every move- Yes, that's abusive.

I do think that verbal, emotional, mental, financial and sexual abuse are right up there with physical abuse. Physical abuse hurts our outside verbal abuse cuts our hearts. Cuts to the skin hurt but cuts to the heart ache. And they take so long to heal.

I don't have any physical scars, I guess that makes me a little luckier than some. My life is sooo different and SOOOOOO much better now, But DARN DARN DARN I can still hear those words.....

I have been in both kinds of relationships. Interestingly, I dumped the physically abusive guy as soon as he got physical -- I knew that wasn't supposed to happen and I got the hell out. But the verbally abusive guy I stayed with for almost two years and I regret it every day. I grew up hearing that I was a giant, etc. because I am very tall (almost six feet) and the other women in my family are very tiny and delicate. So when this guy started telling me I was ugly, etc. I just accepted it because I thought it was true.

It escalated from there -- went from "giant" to huge to ugly to fat (I weighed about 150 at the time, which is not much for someone as tall as I am -- my friends all thought I had an eating disorder but this guy was telling me I was fat so I kept losing weight) -- he insulted me every day, told me that it was a good thing he was with me because no one would want someone as ugly as me. It was insiduous and slow but before I knew it I was believing him. He began telling me I was stupid, too, which I know I am not.

The physical abuse? I am over that. I had no trouble calling the police on that guy. But the verbal abuse? I am still suffering. I still cover my mouth with my hand when I laugh because he made fun of my crooked teeth. I still hate what I see in the mirror because he told me how ugly I was for so long. I still feel like some kind of huge mutant. It's inside me and won't go away. He was a total sadist and I hate that his words have an effect on me to this day.

i would think both would be equally bad. verbal or physical is not okay with me or my husband. but this goes both ways. women can be abusive as well as men can.

I think both r bad but verbal abuse is worst because atleast when someone abuses u phisically the wounds heal with time but the verbal abuse stays with u for ever until u seek God's help to heal your heart wounds. I know cause i been through both kind of abuse but God has healed both. I hope the same for u.

Personally, I have been thru a lot with my children's father. He doesn't see it as domestic violence. He see's it as me always starting with him which was his way of reacting to him trying to choke the life out of me. I remember occurrences so vividly- most of them were while I was pregnant. He would choke me, push me into the wall, bang my head to the wall, slap me, or pick me up and throw me on the floor flat on my back... I thank God that my babies came out healthy behind the abuse. For a while I made myself believe that it was my fault... because my mouth was so slick that maybe I pushed him to the limit. Never did I think that it was OK but I did justify his actions. Now... I'm very much on defense- with everybody.Even with my MWI. It's been about 5 months since I've last seen my children's father but those images are so vivid in my mind- I don't think I will ever forget. It's really getting in the way of being all that I can be- like supporting my MWI... sometimes I have nothing positive to write to him and he recently wrote me telling me that I'm draining him. That kind of hurt because it's not like I did it intentionally- he said that I could write him about anything... so I've done that. I would like to seek some help to get through this because I'm playing defense and it sucks. I feel like everyone is against me- like negativity is supposed to be the answer to everything. I've experienced both the mental and the physical and neither is pretty. Being put down all of the time- then on top of that being choked or slapped for speaking my mind... it's horrible. That's one of the worst things someone could do to you... They don't realize that we are messed up emotionally behind it all while they go on to live their lives.

ladies,
while i am not a victim of domestic violence, neither was my wife. when we first got married i yelled a few times, but never at her and i always felt bad about it. that being said, it stopped quick. i do not believe in any type of abuse towards women and i think that any man who abuses a woman needs a taste of it himself. in my work as a medic, i saw many instances of domestic violence and i realize that some women are afraid to leave, some think it's their fault, some feel worthless. i'm sorry but that's just not right. i can tell you about domestic violence because as a kid, i witnessed my father break several of my moms ribs, her finger and really do a number on him. it only stopped because i threatened to throw a lamp out the window, i was 8 y/o. i swore i would never be like that. i realize my father had an issue later on in life, he was addicted to pain killers after having 2 spinal fusions. He had a bad temper too. but after that incident, he changed alot and back then they had no domestic violence laws on the books. i also witnessed first hand a neighbor who talked to his wife like she was a peice of crap. i'm not sure if he ever laid a hand on him and thank god she had the courage to move out on him. i never saw indications until one day we were sitting at their kitchen table talking and she disagreed with something and he told her did i tell you you could talk. i was stunned to say the least. after that incident, i'd see her on the front porch and a few times walked over to see her crying. that is no way to live. i get very angry myself when i see men treat women like crap. i have actually stopped my car and got out on several occassions when i've seen men striking women right out in the open. i realize that sometimes that's bad because when i leave they probably catch it worse, but you have no idea how many times i would have my then wife in the car and she'd tell me not to get involved or whatever and i'd wind up giving the girl a ride somewhere that she felt safe. you guys have no idea how sometimes i would just like to take boot to ass on some of these guys. but i don't. the girls they are abusing have seen enough violence. plus with my luck, i'd be the one to get locked up. anyways, i know as i have not been the victim, you all may not agree with what i am saying, but from what i've seen please believe me, if you are a victim, leave before it's too late. it doesn't take much to break a bone or kill someone. i worked a call in white plains during my career that a guy killed his wife and then tried to make it look like a burglary gone bad. there are some things you don't forget. the girl i am currently with (i seperated with my wife of 23 years because we both drifted apart and my job was part of it) was abused and treated like crap. i treat her well and i don't know how many times she's told me she just can't get used to being treated like this. all i tell her time and time again if her previous guys were real men they wouldn't treat a woman the way she was being treated. but ladies, i am going to say it again, don't hang in there and deal with the abuse, i know some of you feel you need to do it for your kids or that nobody is going to help you, but believe me there are people who will help you and people who care. don't become a statistic.

joe

I grew up being the target of emotional/mental/verbal abuse, from my mother. Occasionally, there was hitting, as well, but she couldn't really hit me hard enough to hurt me. Certainly not as much as her words hurt me. It was pretty much an everyday barrage of hearing how stupid, worthless, lazy I was, until I almost believed it. Bad enough to hospitalize me with an ulcer at 15. After years of therapy, I married a man who would resort to her tactics to make me "behave", as he said. I eventually divorced him. I couldn't live with the anger he brought out in me.

So from my POV, yes, it's worse. I would have rather she had beaten me. I could have healed from broken bones, cuts, bruises, and just learned to stay out of her reach as I got older. But there's no where you can hide from the systematic torture of verbal/emotional/mental abuse.

I can tell you in raising my own daughter, I didn't allow anyone to talk to her that way. I never allowed anyone to tell her SHE was stupid. I think it was because of what I endured growing up, much the same way that my Dad did not allow physical beatings because he endured that as a child himself. He did allow and believe in spankings, there is a difference between a spanking and a beating.

My ex only actually hit me a couple of times... the abuse he laid on me was emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse and I say without question that the mental and verbal stuff is much worse. If someone hits you, you KNOW that you have been abused. The other stuff.. it can start so subtle and increase so gradual that you don't always realize it is happening... and by the time you realize what is happening the damage is already done and takes far longer to fix than a bruise or broken bone.

It's also much much easier for someone to get away with. You can't call the police about emotional abuse unless he is threatening physical violence. Most women (including myself at the time) mistakenly believe that forced sex can't be rape if you are married.

The scariest part of emotional/verbal abuse is that it just goes undetected for so long and is much, much harder to break away from.

I think they are both bad but verbal messed with my self esteem. Being called a C and other such words made me feel unlovable by any man. The worst though, for me was when he spit in my face. That just made me feel so low.

I think they are both bad but verbal messed with my self esteem. Being called a C and other such words made me feel unlovable by any man. The worst though, for me was when he spit in my face. That just made me feel so low.
Yeah, like, the most disgusting thing they can do, soooo degrading, having your face spat in. Speaks more of THEIR character than ours though. Takes a bit of time to see it that way but we're getting there yeah???.

i don't really agree with you. i guess i can understand but for me i hated getting hit. i guess i would put it all in the same boat though. it was all bad. i hated being called a bitch, cunt, whore, slut, fuck up, etc. but at the same time...well...i hated getting shit thrown at me, slammed up to a wall or to the ground, head banged against shit, back handed, hair pulled, etc. i wouldn't pick one over the other.

i strongly believe that verbal abuse is far more worst because the affects last much longer than the physical bruises go away a whole lot faster it takes the brain more time to heal

OMG I thought no one was treated like I was..... WRONG ! I had to be carefull how I got out of the car when i got home from work... if I showed attitude ... that was it ... he would drink untill he would pick a fight with me ... leave to go get crack. Then I would proceed to get drunk ... pass out and worry WHEN he would come in IF he came in. The drinking for me had become a way out of the pain. I was FAT ASS WHORE . It hurts just to think about it now. He is in BYRD UNIT in Huntsville on family abuse ... second charge. BUT get this I still love him and care about him.... I think I am CO-Dependant DUH ! I feel sick and ashamed ... but HERE I feel I can say whats inside with no judgement. And I am 55, to old to be doing this ... people in my office talk about retirement ... I think about feeding my dogs and keeping the lights on. Pretty Sad .... JUDE

jk - you can say it, you can think it here. And maybe while he's in you can head for the domestic abuse agency and get some counseling, eh? There's help for you, all kinds of help. Go reach out and take it. And meanwhile, we'll listen, hug, cry with you and do what we can, too.

This has become a bestfriend to me .. At this time I really dont have close friends SO ... this has been a God send THANKS

(713) 528-2121. That's the Houston area domestic violence help line. Call it!