some times i think back and maybe i could have gotten out sooner. sometimes i blame my self for what went wrong and where we went wrong. but i know now that i didnt make him do what he did he had a choice! i used to remember some friends or watching movies with girls who got beat by their boyfriends or husbands and think man their so stupid if that was me i would have beat his ass on my own:p yeah well i learned differently, being in the situation makes you have a whole different out look on thing.

i know that once he started hitting me i could leave i felt like he was right what other guy would want "a dumb bitch like me" i mean i felt like i had nothing to lose and nothing to gain at the end of the day. i still felt like i was alone and nobody would understand what i was going through.

comming here and still dealing with the bullshit had brightend me so much i am now so much braver than i have been i have not yet been able to leave but i have drawn the line. i am almost ready to let go still scared but havent yet done it!

thanks for listening i just need to say it, get it over with, thank you all who have been their for me!:thumbsup:

Make plans! Don't just leave yourself hanging at loose ends. Have a secret place to go, plan to change your daily habit and routes. Have some money stashed, and a phone not in your name.

Don't get complaisant just because you've made YOUR mind up - he has a different take on it, and he's ready to spring at any moment he realizes you are really meaning it. You can't brazen this out with any assurance of coming out whole.

And . . . congratulations! We all think we could have gotten out sooner, but getting out any time is what matters now.

Thank-you, Nimuay.

Statistically, women are in the MOST danger when they decide to leave, or attempt to leave.

Abuse is about power and control. When the abuser loses that ability to control you, therefore losing his/her power, then the abuse usually escalates, often to the point of murder/attempted murder.

Nimuay is absolutely right on: make some plans. Do it now.

Some things that will help you:
1. copies of legal documents for YOU (and your kids if you have any): drivers license, birth certificates, ssi cards, titles, insurance cards, etc. ....ANYTHING that you'll need when you leave.) Once you leave, going back to retrieve any of your possessions will put you in danger
2. copies of your car keys and house keys (many abusers either control these items or take them if they think you're going to leave)
3. cash (for cab fares if you don't have a car, temporary housing, emergencies, food, clothing, etc.)
4. Spare set of clothes, shoes, etc.
5. A cell phone (even a cheap tracfone)...in someone else's name if possible.
6. A "RED ALERT" emergency plan: to notify a trusted friend or ally that your life is in immediate danger, and instructions for them to call the police, etc. Choose a code word or phrase that won't arouse suspicion if you need to call for help in your abuser's presence
7. A safe place to go to, if at all possible. Many times this isn't possible, but there ARE places to hide if you need to
8. The phone number to your local domestic violence hotline/shelter. Or the 800 number to the national DV crisis center

There are many more things that could be added to your escape plan.
I've forgotten some of them, but there is further information online.

Make a plan. Even if you never have to use it. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. But NEVER trade hoping for preparing.

Take care of yourself: everyone in here supports you and wants you to be safe.

In Strength and Hope,
Northstar

You be real careful as you make plans to leave. We all know men like this don't like to lose control of us and will beat you down in a heartbeat if you get too brave in front of him. ;)