Menia
01-15-2008, 09:15 AM
Today makes the 7th month since my Keith died. I can't seem to get my day started. I miss so much still. I just cant believe that he is gone. I still have to look at his pictures in the coffin to remind myself that he is gone. On Sunday after church I visited his grave and talked to him for a minute or so, I just can't that there to long, because I can't believe it deep down in my heart. I miss him so much, it feels like there is a hole in my heart or like I cant breathe. I don't know how to explain it except to say it still hurts.
On Sunday I went to dinner with a lady from the church, she lost her husband seven years ago and she is remarried, and I asked her how did she stop thinking about her husband, and she said she thinks about him everyday and she still cries for him.
Keiths mother called me and told me that she heard Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again and it reminded her so much of her son. That just did it for me, the flood gates that was holding back the tears broke.
You know I use to stay on prison talk all of the time reading posts and now when I read about people having problems in their relationships and wondering if they should stay with with them, it always make me so sad because I wish I had that choice again, because I know that there is nothing in the world that could make me leave him, we had problems, but I stuck it out with him, and I am so glad. What if he had died and I had not been there for him. I think that pain would be worst than the pain of him being dead. I love him just as much with him being dead as when he was alive. I still pray and ask the Lord to give him in my dreams since I can't have him when I am awake. God this is so hard.
Keith you use to write me the words to this song all the time and I am so glad that the Lord anserwed your prayers, because I would of never known what it felt like to be truly loved, and by the way Keith I did fell the same way and still do. I just wish it could of lasted longer. I LOVE YOU BABY!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFhEL-hjxqs
On Sunday I went to dinner with a lady from the church, she lost her husband seven years ago and she is remarried, and I asked her how did she stop thinking about her husband, and she said she thinks about him everyday and she still cries for him.
Keiths mother called me and told me that she heard Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again and it reminded her so much of her son. That just did it for me, the flood gates that was holding back the tears broke.
You know I use to stay on prison talk all of the time reading posts and now when I read about people having problems in their relationships and wondering if they should stay with with them, it always make me so sad because I wish I had that choice again, because I know that there is nothing in the world that could make me leave him, we had problems, but I stuck it out with him, and I am so glad. What if he had died and I had not been there for him. I think that pain would be worst than the pain of him being dead. I love him just as much with him being dead as when he was alive. I still pray and ask the Lord to give him in my dreams since I can't have him when I am awake. God this is so hard.
Keith you use to write me the words to this song all the time and I am so glad that the Lord anserwed your prayers, because I would of never known what it felt like to be truly loved, and by the way Keith I did fell the same way and still do. I just wish it could of lasted longer. I LOVE YOU BABY!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFhEL-hjxqs