I'm soooo frustrated right now! When Shane & I last talked on Saturday, he was a total jerk to me! He said he had this great idea that would save me some money. He thought that he could make some of the X-mas presents that I give this year. (he makes alot of beaded jewelry) He asked if my Mom would want a pearl necklace. No, I said, I could not see her wearing a pearl necklace. Tner he asked if maybe my stepdad or my brother would want a necklace. No, they are not the kind of guys to wear jewelry, except maybe a gold chain. Then he started getting angry at me. Said I was being a jerk. Said maybe they would want these things and I just did not want to give them something that HE made.

How in the hell can he expect to sit there and tell me what kind of gifts I sould be getting my family, people he's never even met? And why is he taking offense to it when I say no? We actually hung up on each other before the end of our call was up (we never do that). I am so angry at him right now I could scream!!!!! Why is he making life miserable for me? He keeps telling me that I should not take everything he says so seriously, that he is not himself in there right now. I can't deal with this right now though.....

he's trying to offer what he has... that is what Christmas is realy supposed to be about after all. My guess would be he's 'angry' because your quick rejection of all his ideas made him feel worthless or useless or some other big negative emotion that he expressed as anger. (the usual guy thing- everything ends up as anger.) But maybe you could suggest things other than jewelry? If he has beads and string he could make keychains or ornaments or something... I'm sure you can think of something. my daughter loves to make bead things and I took a lizard one to work and the receptionist liked it so much she asked for one for her son. I could never picture my dad in ANY kind of jewelry... so i can feel where you are coming from. Still, I have to respect him for trying considering his limited circumstances. If you want a couple of bead patterns to look at (in case you have no idea what I'm talking about, lol) PM me.

It sounds to me like he just wants to give something for Christmas, and feels hurt because he has limited resources and people may not want what he has to give.

I have gotten two necklaces from penpals and really like them and cherish them even though I usually don't like necklaces.

Be open to his ideas. His resources are limited right now, and he wants to feel like he is a part of your Christmas. Maybe they would not like the gifts he has made, but it would make him feel like a part of your celebration.

Sometimes guys get mad when really their underlying feeling is embarrassment. I think maybe it embarrassed him that he even offered such a simple thing when you rejected it. Maybe his feeling was "I never should have offered my piddly little gifts" or something to that effect. He's probably proud that he's learned how to do this and wants to give people something he's proud of. There aren't a lot of crafting options available to prisoners sometimes, and what they make may seem pretty darned humble but they can't help it. I've had some of the ladies I've written to take their pillows apart at risk of the hole in order to make my girls little teddy bears-----they used the pillow stuffing to stuff the crocheted bears. And I've gotten doilies made from one or two inch long pieces of crochet thread tied together end to end because they save even the tiniest bits of thread and roll it into balls. I've gotten plastic beads made into things because they can't afford glass. Do your parents know your boyfriend? I'm sure if they know him or know about him, if you were to allow him to make them gifts, they'd be so touched and humbled by the fact that he did that because he thought of them while in there that those gifts-----even though not worn------would stand out in their memory for a long time. Maybe you should reconsider. You can still get other gifts for your parents, but let him give his gifts, too.

I agree with everyone so far.....I think he was just trying to "fit in" and do something nice and special to his heart. Really feel like he was being a part of your family and YOU!! Men don't handle ANY kind of rejection well. Talk it over with him and maybe accept the gifts anyway!!

Stacy

Ok, I'm totally pms'ing right now, but i read your post Redphoenix and burst into tears. He's sitting there in prison, and he thinks enough of your family and you to want to give them gifts and you stomped on him, man. I don't know him, but if he's trying to give of himself and return some of the love & support that he feels you've given him, cherish it. Those are the things that the prison system crushes out of a person. I think what grasshopper said about suggesting variations on the theme that your family would like is a great idea. That's quite different from telling him no one would want what he has to offer. I don't mean to sound harsh, but put yourself in his shoes.

I also agree with everyone...... David did that last year wanted to do something for the family last year so we came up with sence hes suck a great drawer he comes up with a christmas drawing that he does and I go have them put on christmas cards from me and him and we send them to everyone well ok so I send them out but its liek he helped sence he drew the picture free hand.