My man has been has been in and out of jail 4 the past 6years and this time is harder then ever hes been in there for 6months and this time is harder than ever were not sure when he gets out and we r still waiting for him to go to prison so i can touch him. I miss him so much and i have frogot his touch and his kiss all i want to do is cry. So my qustion is dose it get any better.I think thing will get alot better when we get contact vists but iam not sure.

can any one help

It is very hard dealing with a loved one in prison. It doesn't get better but it does get easier to manage. You can either sit and wait, like your life is on hold, or you can use this time to make things better. Go to school, take classes, focus on you and what you want. Be productive. Depression has a hard time getting a hold of you when you are busy. This time of year is the pits and it hits some very hard. Just hang in. Some days are better than others.

dw hit the nail on the head: some days are better than others. Contact visits do help, I think, but the most helpful for me is regular daily communication... through a combination of letters, phone calls, and visits. Being able to touch base with him in some way or another has been a huge comfort. Also, as hard as it is sometimes, keep busy! It took me awhile to learn this, but it's not helpful to anyone to sit around moping and waiting. Lean on any family and friends that you can... let them help you through this. If you belong to a church, lean on them too! I truly could not have survived this if it were not for God, my church, and my family.

Keep reaching out. You'll make it through.

Im right there with the rest of you. My husband has been locked up for 5 months now. I thought it would get easier, but it hasn't and now with the Holidays here it is really hard to get in the spirit of it all. I have been trying to make the best of it for my kids at least. I think I've done more crying than usual. This last week has been very draining emotionally because I've been able to visit him several times while he is still here after being moved for his court date. It is hard to see him in there. I try to keep busy, but then by the end of the day reality sets in...he isn't here with me. This will be the first Christmas in 22 years that we haven't spent together. How does everyone else cope?

Happy Holidays!

Angie

Annie -

I think most of us feel exactly as you do. I know I do. Keeping busy helps, but reality sets in eventually... and sometimes it's all just so overwhelming. I cope by leaning heavily on my faith in God. I pray and read the bible daily. I'm so comforted by the promises that are there and the verses on trial/suffering and what our perspective (and therefore our response) to them should be. I also have an amazing church that I go to. The teaching that I get there and the support of the other people is a huge reason that I've been able to survive this at all.

Other than that, I cope with lots of communication with my husband, keeping busy with work and children/grandchildren, and taking it one day at a time... allowing myself some sadness but not allowing myself to dwell there. The bottom line is that, although my situation is hard and there are a lot of struggles, I am so much more blessed than many others in this world. I have a house to live in, family and friends around me, a job I love, clothes on my back, and I don't have to wonder if I will be able to eat today. I also remind myself that, although my husband will be gone for a long time, in light of eternity it is "a blink of an eye". It doesn't seem like it some days but this season will end. Keeping focused on those two truths keeps me grounded and my perspective right.

Have a wonderful holiday. I'll keep you in my prayers.

I never gets better or easier, it just gets "normal". The last little bit is the hardest (at least for me)

Bear in mind one really important fact - he is incarcerated in an actual prison against his will while your prison is mental and emotional and is your choice. You must still live your life out here and do for your kids. Make the most out of each day, the best you can.

Thank you all so much for your words of support and encouragement. I try to take it one day at a time because I know thats all I can do. I tell myself everyday that "It is what it is" and there is no changing the situation that put my husband in jail. I also rely on God and reading the bible to get me thru, but sometimes it isn't enough. It gets very tiring being strong all the time.

Thank You again for listening to me and for your kind words. I hope you all have a very happy holiday.

God Bless,

Angie