Wohoo! We now know for sure what is going to happen!! I talked to Kenny's PO today and it was actually great news...Kenny may be home in late March, early April. He is on the waiting list for the halfway house. He will do 60 days there and then be paroled and immediate enrollment in an outpatient rehab. I am so excited! I'll be able to see him more often and actually talk on the phone with him. Right now we have some that 3-ways for us, but it's not the same. And weekend visits....I can't wait! I miss him so much and I can't wait till he gets there! The best part is it's only a 3 weeks waiting list...sooner if people get lugged out...which happens quite often. Ok...I'm gonna go bubble over elsewhere! LOL!

NO! Keep bubblin over in here! LOL.. It doesn't happen enough!!

There is almost nothing as painful as not knowing! I KNOW.. (hehe) Especially at the get-go but also when you are impatient to get on with it! Congrats for you and Kenny!

Now.. don't go getting too worked up.. I have heard rumors myself of people getting sent back because someone wanted their slot more and a loved one helped the process along.. haha..

It sure is nice to see the light at the other end of the tunnel.. Brighter the better...

David

:cool:

Oh believe me...I know about them getting lugged for thier spot! It happened to several of Kenny's friends. But, now we're trying to get him out sooner. We may have custody of his 14 year old son and he NEEDS to be out to get a job and get this place together. We need to get another bedroom built.etc. I am stressing out about this big time!!! Kenny called in tears because he didn't think this would ever happen, and he's scared at the same time. Me, I don't know what to think. At 23, the last thing I expected was to be raising a teen age boy...and one in trouble at that. He takes after his father in that regard! I think his PO will get him out...he's usually very good about that. And as long as he is enrolled in the outpatient, I think the board will be ok with it. I hope!!

hi. i'm new here. i was just wondering how u'v been feeling ever since Kenny went away? my boyfriends just been put away, and i'm not really coping well. can u give me any advice? thanx!

Sam xx

I was devestated when Kenny went back. He has been back several times now, but it hurts just as bad as the first. He has been lugged from the halfway house once, brought out of my house in cuffs twice and turned himself in this last time. That had to be the hardest because I had to bring him to the prison and turn him over. My mother and son were in the car. Luckily, my son was sleeping so he didn't see him get cuffed and brought inside. Through all this though, I have learned to be a stronger person...for Kenny, my family and most importantly, for myself.

I think the best advice I can give you is to stay positive and never give up hope. It sounds so easy, but as I'm sure you're finding out, it is probably the most difficult thing. Kenny and I get through it by visiting every weekend, keeping a journal for the week and sending them to each other, lots of cards, and now that I have the block off my phone, one call a week. When I don't see or talk to Kenny, I try and stay busy. That is a fairly easy thing to do with an overactive 3 year old! LOL! I refuse to put my life on hold...I still go out with friends and do all the things I do when he is home. It makes time go by a lot quicker. I also leave things in God's hands. There is nothing I can do to change the situation, so I sit back and let Him handle it. But most importantly, keep telling yourself that you are strong enough to get through this, that you are never given more than you can handle. If you need to talk at any time, feel free to drop me a line...I check my mail at least once a day. Best of luck to you!

Originally posted by Jasmine
I was devestated when Kenny went back. He has been back several times now, but it hurts just as bad as the first. He has been lugged from the halfway house once, brought out of my house in cuffs twice and turned himself in this last time. That had to be the hardest because I had to bring him to the prison and turn him over. My mother and son were in the car. Luckily, my son was sleeping so he didn't see him get cuffed and brought inside. Through all this though, I have learned to be a stronger person...for Kenny, my family and most importantly, for myself.

I think the best advice I can give you is to stay positive and never give up hope. It sounds so easy, but as I'm sure you're finding out, it is probably the most difficult thing. Kenny and I get through it by visiting every weekend, keeping a journal for the week and sending them to each other, lots of cards, and now that I have the block off my phone, one call a week. When I don't see or talk to Kenny, I try and stay busy. That is a fairly easy thing to do with an overactive 3 year old! LOL! I refuse to put my life on hold...I still go out with friends and do all the things I do when he is home. It makes time go by a lot quicker. I also leave things in God's hands. There is nothing I can do to change the situation, so I sit back and let Him handle it. But most importantly, keep telling yourself that you are strong enough to get through this, that you are never given more than you can handle. If you need to talk at any time, feel free to drop me a line...I check my mail at least once a day. Best of luck to you!

Okay, well that first reply didn't go through very well. My husband is serving a 17 year fed sentence and I was also devistated when he left. After I got done depriving myself of my life (ie, not seeing movies, not going out to eat, etc) I dedicated myself in a more healthy way on trying to stop the laws that allowed him to get such a CRAZY sentence. I join The November Coalition http://www.november.org and was able to make a tad bit of sence from all that was happining in my life. I became active and so then it was not simply happening to me, I felt like I had a bit of control back, something I needed so so much. Hang in there, it sucks but it does get better.
K

thanx kali.

that really helps. thats really terrible about ur husband. 17 years is sooo bad. my boyfriend can only go away 4 a year, and i thought that was unbearable. but 17 years really puts things in2 perspective. how often do u get 2 c him? is his prison far away? my boyfriends prison is an hour and a half away on the train, its near london.

how long has ur husband served already?

thank u 4 helping me out.

take care.

xx

hi jasmine.

just 2 say thanx 4 ur last post. it was really encouraging.

was last saturday really painful? the reason i ask is because on feb the 4th me and dale will have been 2getha 4 a year. and i no i'll be really cut up. what were u like?

on wednesday dales trial comes up, so we'll find out how long he'll go down 4. evrey1 is hoping he'll get parole, but 2 b perfectly honest with u, i hope he goes down 4 a couple of months, because although he says he's already learnt, a few months might REALLY make him realize. do u think i'm sounding really mean?

thats really bad about Kenny being cuffed in front of ur son, it must have been really harsh on u. at least ur son didnt c it happening, thats 1 good thing.

anyway, i betta go. wish me luck 4 wednesday!!

take care

xx

He has been gone just shy of 4 years. I am fortionate in that he is still in ohio. About 1 1/2 hours away also. He was in michigan and oklahoma before that ( the feds have a way of providing a world tour before you get to where you are going) The visiting isn't bad, In the begining I would drive back and forth Thursday - Monday. Now I go about once a week, sometimes I even skip weeks. Time...sometimes has a way of pulling people apart. In our situation, I was the only one there for him so I got the brunt of alot of anger that should have been put other places. I love him, and will always do what I can for him, but I relaize that if I didn't take care of me and our child we would all drown. Things have actually gotten better since we have more space. Plus, 17 years is along time. Can either of us, or anyone else really expect that life does not more on. Our feelings now is that we will take everyday at a time and if when he comes home we want to be together we will, and if not, there are no hard feelings, we both know we loved the way we should have. Hang in there, hopefully things will work out, and if it was meant to be, a year will be a breeze, I could have done that standing on my head ;) And don't feel bad about hoping that he gets some time, it actually may be good for him, I am not mad that my guy went away, he needed to, I am just mad that it is for so long. So much for 2 kids....
K

Hi Kali,

thats the thing that they dont understand. they do all these things without considering the consequences. thats what reall y makes me mad.

ur right about the thing about seeing what its like when they get out. im considering finishing with dale. but 4 the mean time im supporting him 100%, because his family and him realize that at this time no-one can love him as much as i do. i would do anything 4 him. but the thing that annoys me is the fact that im only 16, and i DO have the rest of my life in front of me, and im not going to follow him from prison to prison if he carries on the way he does. ive got the rest of my life ahead of me, and im not gonna hang around 4 him. i dont no if he realizes this. i feel really sorry 4 u. u'v stil got 13 years left without him, and how olds ur son? it must be really tough on him? but i've learnt that if u throw urself in2 work and family, u can just get by. dales actual trial is wednesday, and at the moment i'm on edge. im so scared. apparantly the maximum sentance he can get is 1 yaer, so we'll have 2 wait and c!

take care.

xx

16...you have your entire life in front of you. That doesn't mean that you don't love Dale but it does mean that there is so much for you to experience. BTW, how old is Dale? Do what is right in your heart, but don';tr let it stop you from living, from pursuing your dreams, whatever they may be.
K

My daughter is 6 now. she will be 18 when her dad comes home. She deserved better then that, all children do.
K

hi kali.

my god ur daughter will be an adult by the time he gets out. that will be hard 4 her, u and him. i'm sorry 4 u.

ur right about me, but i DO love him 2 bits. but theres always the possibility that he could re-offend, and thats y i wouldnt want 2 carry on with him.

dales 19, 20 in March.

he called this morning, and he sounded so sad, all i wanna do is hug him forever, and thats the thing that kills me. knowing i may not be able 2 b alone with him for maybe a year.

take care.

sam

xx

Jasmine,

Sorry this is so late. That is such great news!

Morrigan

I was told yesterday that Kenny is having his reconsideration hearing on the 7th, and will be home either the 7th, 8th or 11th. But, I'm trying to get him in tomorrow as my mother was just admitted to the hospital for a possible heart attack. Will keep you all updated.

I new to this website. Can anybody give me some advise on how to let my fiance know that I am going to wait for him faithfully? thanks u

COURT T.V. is showing a movie called GUILT BY ASSOCIATION on wednesday March 13th. It addressed the issue of Mandatory Minimum sentencing and I think should give a good look at the mass destruction of families that have been hurt by them. FAMM gave input on story and statistics.

Tune in if you get a chance
Kelly

Coco....
What kind of contact do you have with your fiance? When I first started my relationship with my man (who is 23 and has about 2 and a half years to go on his sentance) I think it was hard for him to believe that I would wait for him and be true to him. The only contact we have at this point are letters, but he is to the point where he doesn't have any doubts about how faithful and dedicated I am to him. I think that is because I write him daily... and share everything about my life. Really, he probably knows more about what I do and what I think and feel every day than others that I have been in relationships with in the past that I got to see everyday. My advise would to be just to communicate what is in your heart. He will be able to feel that it is true. :)
I wish you both the best! I am an eternal optimist and believe that in the end love will prevail! You just have to keep believing in it!

All I can say is be real with him. Do not try to sugar coat thing and let him know that you are serious. It is important for them to know what is going on in your life.

Most of all if he asks you to do something if you can try to get it done for him. You are his main source of trust and right now all he has is your word.

Let me ask you this, "Have you always been faithfull?" I only ask because I wonder if there was an issue before he got lock up. If not then just be as supportive as you can.

Best of Luck to you both. God Bless