hello everybody, it's been awhile since i've visited the site. Sorry. just going through alot of stuff. my boyfriend is still at ecf and it's being crazy. it seems as if he is just keeping me hanging on. i feel and believe that i take good care of him. i send him money, stamps, books and magazines all the time. he say he loves me and want to me with me. but can somebody tell me why he won't or just haven't filed for a divorce? we have been together almost 4 years and i truly do love him. what to do?

I cannot give you the answers you seek but I say that if he is hanging on to a marriage that is not really there - then it is possible (...and I don't mean to ruffle feathers here...) he still has expectations of that marriage to possibly work in the future. Could that be it? Like I said, "......I don't know the answers" nor will I try to but it sounds like you need to really evaluate the situation - take a visit or phone call opportunity to really talk to your guy without holding back for fear of hurting feelings and ask him what his feelings are.......you might be surprised if he knows you mean business and want answers - he may be open with you. Who knows but I do wish you luck with it all.........being in love with an inmate is not easy - I KNOW from first hand experience! Good luck and if you need to "talk" then PM me!

Tammie
(Husband formerly at ECF!)

i am sorry to hear that all of this is happening to you. Like she said i am going to i don't know the answers. but you have to search your heart and then talk to him, hey even be a lil mean, make sure he knows your not riding out his sentence for his "wife" to have him in the end. Make him chose you or her. Then make him go through with the choice. I told t.c that he had to choice me or the drugs and told him that he had to think long and hard which love is stronger the love for me or the game? told him he had a week then if he didn't choice id choose for him he knew what i meant but then he also knows ima stick with that the first screw up im gone, honey i say all this to tell you. You may love him but you can't set your self up for pain. Noone likes a broken heart but somethimes it is better to hurt yourself than to be hurt by someone else that you care for. So make him choose. You can't be nice all the time and he can't string you along now i don't know anything more than i read about ya'll relationship so im going on what i read and personal stuff k hope everything works out for you.---------you can't be a supporing rock to quick sand!----

Thanks termaltam and mzford for the advice. I understand that if he don't chose then i will have to say goodbye. It's easlier said then done. You are right , no one wants to be hurt. And i have told him to pick but he says he filed for a divorce in May and still haven't heard nothing about it. I know that he is lieing but i have to move on with my life because i am tired for feeling as if he's just using me. I know that i have alot of crying nights ahead of me. So please keep me in your prayers. I know that i have the support here to do what is best for me. Once again thanks.

i will pray but just to put it out there, sometimes it does take a few months to get things going. the way they look at is hey they ain't going anywhere, so i guess, you have to do what you have to do. And honey i do feel for. If you've made up your mind then good for you if not think long and hard cause if he is your true love and you throw him away when he is telling the truth it might come back on you, and then again vice versa

thanks mzford and please keep me in your prayers. yes, he's my true love and i'm trying to hang in there and take it on day at a time.