Butch called me today to inform me that the mailroom had confiscated a letter of his and came to him asking him what a particular number on the letter meant? When he told them he hasn't seen the letter so he doesn't know what they are talking about, they looked at him and said," I ask you what this number means, it is a yes or no question". He told them again he doesn't know what they are talking about.

It has to be my letter that I sent him talking to him about a specific document number.

I think the NCDOC are losing their minds! What is next? Budwoman thinks they are assuming I am trying to write him in some kind of code. HUH???? I really don't like this game they are playing. I have had enough!!!!!!!

I tell you Renee, NCDOC sounds like a bunch of paranoid "individuals" (lets call them individuals as opposed to what I would really like to call them)!!

Did they at least have the common decency to SHOW Butch the letter so he could know what the heck they are talking about? Probably NOT, right?

I swear they need a VERY RUDEawakening to the truly STUPID things they are doing!!! Hang in there Renee & stay strong no matter what!! DOC is NOT going to break you or Butch, ok?

Take care!!
DJ :)

oh BROTHER!!!! honey, i can't believe the crap those people are putting you through! i thought eventually, people got tired of picking on someone and moved onto someone else?!?!?! if they weren't so uptight, i could come up with a LOT of comebacks to the number question, but under the circumstances, i won't air them! :p

you hang in there, muffin ~ what you two have is stronger than anything the ncdoc can throw at you! dj is right about that!

*hugs*
ac

No they didn't even let him see the letter, and they expect him to know what they are talking about. I guess they figure if they let him see the letter, that he will get my code and know what I'm talking about. I guess they think I'm going to blow up the prison, or something stupid like that.

Gee, I never knew I had a criminal's mind?

Just joking so no one thinks or takes me seriously. Ha Ha

Hey Aprilcat, How about letting me know what on earth you are talking about. Maybe it would help. You can send it to my address.

Oh brother...well how do they expect Butch to know what the heck they are talking about? Opps, I forgot for a second this is DOC we are talking about, LOGIC...what's that...hee hee!

Aprilcat...girl if I know you, you have some interesting comebacks for muffin on those #'s!!

Muffin, pick up your pm's I send you 2 girl!!

muffin: just smart a$$ remarks, honey...rude comments...i'm full of such things! dj has me nailed! lol

ps: can you PM me your home addy and/or phone ?

;)

DJ,

I went into my PM"s and I only see one.

Aprilcat, yes I sent you my address and number.

Aprilcat,

If you want you can send Butch a letter and put some good stuff in there for them to look at.

I think the site is a little slow today muffin...I am having "slow issues" on my end here.
Hopefully #2 PM is there for you girl!

RENEE- I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU AND BUTCH CONTINUE TO HAVE TO OUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF BS--I STILL FOR THE LIFE OF ME CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY THEY ARE MAKING THINGS SO HARD FOR YOU-YOU TWO MUST BE REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT :)

MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE BACK AND INCLUDE THE "CODE" 297.1 WHICH IS DSMIV CODE FOR DELUSIONAL DISORDER SINCE THIS SEEMS TO BE AN ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS FOR THOSE DOC STAFF CHECKING OUT YOUR MAIL-

I hear you Sherri. That's a good one. Ha Ha

Would continuing the fight and aggravating DOC be helpful for Butch and his release? I know , we all get angry at other's actions, but sometimes "leaving it alone" is the best option. I know, I am just an ex-guard taking an ex-guard's view. Our philosophy at my last facility was, "If sh.. don't stink don't stir it."
Ms. love muffin:
The DOC is expecting all kind of reactions from you and are closely screening all Butch's correspondences and probably his phone calls. Think about letting Butch get out before continuing your stirring of the water. DOC has thousands of inmates for their worry, but one big computer for storing all reminders. They will, one day forget about you, but you have to let them by discontinuing your presence through letters and such. I know, you do not hear me nor like what I say, but you are only making Butch's days longer, harder, and more difficult. Resort communication through another path such as an introductory as another person whom found Butch through a "pen pal" website. Go under a different name, write one more letter, as yourself, telling Butch that you are sorry for causing him DOC grief, and that you will stop all communication; then send the "introductory letter" days later. The DOC views you as a "Legal Issue and threat". They will not let up and will only get more creative with their "detterent" toward removing your presence. Please consider these thoughts, if not for you, for Butch's well-being........Just my opinion from an "old guard's perspective"......38 Special

38 Special,

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have offered to walk away from Butch because I love him so much. He will not allow me to do this because we truly are each other's soul-mate and he feels if he even loses touch with me he could not handle his situation in prison any longer. See I am his strength and he is mine. He just told me today that he has been mistreated for years long before I came along. I even told him I understood that but the issues he is facing now are all to do with me. He doesn't care and I know if I stopped all contact with him right now he would die. Believe me, I love this man enough to do whatever I have to to make things better for him. One of his comments to me was " People didn't like what Jesus Christ stood for either, but did he give up?" He has a point. Butch and I have done nothing wrong. All we are quilty of is loving each other. I have just stepped on alot of toes in the NCDOC and they do not like me. All of the things I have ever written to them or said to them are true. So I guess you are telling me that Butch and I shouldn't stand up for the truth, Right?
I'm not trying to be sarcastic, I'm just telling you that we have thought of the alternatives and decided againist them. The NCDOC needs to take a good look at this situation and understand that I am not a criminal or am I looking for trouble. All I want is to visit with my Fiancee, and be free to correspond with him. What is so wrong with that? Don't you think they have bigger fish to fry?

Here here Renee...I agree w/you 110% girl!!
NCDOC has ALL of their priorities screwed up, they let you visit w/Butch for 8 months & then out of the blue say NOPE can't do that anymore!? They even go so far as to say you can't correspond w/Butch which anybody here knows CAN NOT BE DONE!!

They are being very nitpicky & they need to wake up & see that like you stated above they have "bigger fish to fry!" All you & Butch want to do is correspond w/1 another which is the only thing you 2 can do. Is that SOO WRONG...not in my opinion.

Let me tell you, if the IDOC took away or tried to take away what NCDOC has you & Butch from EJ & I...I would FIGHT to the DEATH to be able to correspond & see MY soul mate & MY rock!!!

Keep writing that man & remember you both stay strong!! DOC can't take a love like you 2 have away for ANYTHING!!

luv ya girl
DJ

P.S. Just my opinion...

Muffin, I'm just wondering where you are right now in all the legal aspects. Did any of those NC legal aid sites that I sent Butch's mom help any? This just seems to keep getting worse and worse, and it makes me so sad what both of you are going through...I would love to help you on some research for this...let me know!

PAM, 38, APRILCAT, SHERRI AND ALL THE REST WHO HAVE POSTED.... THIS SITUATION IS NOT RIGHT.... I AM A VERY PATIENT PERSON BUT AT THIS POINT, I AM SO VERY TIRED OF ALL THIS CRAP THAT I CANNOT STAND ANYMORE.

I ALSO TALKED TO BUTCH A FEW MINUTES AGO. HE IS NOT WELL AT ALL. IN FACT, HE MADE THE STATEMENT TO ME HE IS ALMOST READY TO BREAK. PART OF THAT IS THE HEAT (HEAT FACTOR OF 103NOW) PART OF IT IS THE CRAP THEY THROW AT HIM... PART OF IT IS THEY WILL NOT LET HIM HAVE A JOB NOR WILL THEY TELL HIM OR ME WHEN AND WHERE THEY PLAN TO MOVE HIM SO HE CAN GET A JOB. THEY TELL ME THEY ARE TRYING TO FIND ONE THAT HE DOES NO LIFTING OF ANY KIND EVEN THO HE CAN LIFT UP TO 50 LBS. I DO UNDERSTAND THAT THEY HAVE PROBLEMS... BUT, EACH TIME RENEE WRITES TO HIM, THEY READ THE LETTER AND DISECT EACH AND EVERY ITEM....

THEY HAVE TREATED THIS GIRL WITH THE UTMOST DISRESPECT. I KNOW IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING, BUT,,,,, LET ME TELL YOU,,,,,, I HAVE BEEN RIGHT HERE WITH THIS THING FROM THE VERY BEGINNING AND I KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED. SHE ONLY DID WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT. SHE HAS DONE NOTHING DISHONEST NOR HAS SHE DONE ANYTHING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CONSTRUED AS A THREAT TO ANYONE..


PAM.... WE DID TRY ALL THE LEGAL AIDE THINGS YOU GAVE US AND NONE OF THEM WILL HELP US... IT IS AS THO THE DOC HAS ALL THE POWER IN THIS STATE AND NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING OR WANTS TO DO ANYTHING AGAINST THEM...

MY MAIN CONCERN RIGHT NOW IS BUTCH'S WELFARE AND I AM SO AFRAID THAT HE IS ALMOST TO THE POINT OF BREAKING.... WHEN THAT DOES HAPPEN, HE HAS MADE THE STATEMENT THAT HE WILL FORCE THEM TO KILL HIM BECAUSE HE IS SO VERY TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY.

LIKE I HAVE SAID IN MANY POSTS, DEATH IS THE EASY WAY OUT... BOTH WAYS.... FROM THE DEATH ROW SENTENCE TO JUST A PERSON IN PRISON....

OH WELL.... I WILL KEEP PRAYING..... I AM REALLY HURTING RIGHT NOW AND I AM TRYING HARD TO FIGHT IT....

MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL

MY LOVE
DONNA

Donna and Renee....
You both know that I TOTALLY understand the drama that you are going through!!! I am literally in tears as I sit here and read your posts, because I know first-hand what it is to have the DOC mess with your communication!!! I also know how futile it is to try to get someone to help.... Honestly, I am not sure WHAT advice to give.....
I also feel your pain about worrying about Butch feeling to the point that he just can't take it anymore... I STILL worry about that with JD all of the time....
If you DO come up with an idea of what we can do to help, I hope you will call on me....
Just remember.... DOC is trying to break you down... trying to get you to abandon Butch.... they CAN'T make you do that!! Butch knows that.... As long as he knows that he should be able to maintain..... because that is a lot.....
You are ALWAYS in my prayers....

donna and renee-i wish so badly there was something i could do to make all this madness stop--i just cannot fathom why the doc continues to treat you all this way-or why it is so important out of all the thousands of inmates incarcerated to focus on him, especially when he is doing NOTHING wrong! --It sounds cliche but the best suggestion i have is to turn it over to God, put it in his hands--this is a time to really turn to your faith and believe that God will take care of things-- Stay strong and together; keep loving each other and remind Butch that no matter what the DOC does, this is only a temporary situation. I love all of you, and you are all in my prayers.

Man, am I glad fighters like you guys are on the right side! You have strengths others only dream about! I hated to see that Butch has made comments like that about being at a breaking point. Thankfully he can still talk to his mom!! How are Budwoman and Renee today? Have they let the letter go yet? What do they do with his mail? Copy all correspondence before sending it? And before giving it to him?

Gosh, what would have happened if you had put xxoo?Steve&kids

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS GUYS. BUTCH CALLED ME A FEW MINUTES AGO.... HE IS FEELING SOME BETTER TODAY... THEY STILL HAVE NOT GIVEEN HIM HIS LETTER YET, NOR HAVE THEY SAID ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT LOCKING HIM UP AGAIN..... I AM SURE THEY ARE INVESTIGATING THE 415.3 TO SEE WHAT THEY THNK IT IS.....

STEVE, BOY THAT WOULD REALLY HAVE GOTTEN THEM UPSET HUH//// THESE PEOPLE CAN BE SO VERY PARANOID.... I THINK THAT IS WHY ALL THE CRAP IS HAPPENING.... LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE, BUTCH IS A BIG MAN..... 6'2 AND 280 LBS... VERY STRONG.... I DON'T KNOW UNLESS THEY FEAR HIM WHY ALL THE CRAP HAPPENS.... IF ONLY THEY KNEW, IF ONLY THEY KNEW

MY LOVE
DONNA

Ms. love muffin:
Good luck and may God be with you. Good bye "November parole!" I hope, Butch and yourself's decision is worth the unnecessary stress...............38 Special.........................

Thanks to all of you who understand and thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. I will let you guys know if there is anything I think you can help with. The DOC shook him down today, so they are still looking for something.

38 Special,

I am not quite sure why you continue to make the remarks that you do? You do not know even half of the situation, or what this man who fought for his life in self defense has gone through. What if you had to serve 12 plus years because someone was trying to shoot you, after they had already hit you in the jaw with a baseball bat?

Again all I have done is LOVE BUTCH, and stood by him. We rarely even write each other cause we communicate on the phone. Sometimes I wonder if you are someone within the NCDOC, because you are reacting in the same manner as they do. Telling me that there goes the NOVEMBER PAROLE?

He has came up for Parole the last 7 years and they have turned him down. I have only known him since Dec. 2000. He has also been turned down 26 times for honor grade and I certainly wasn't around all those times.

I realize there are people not only in the DOC but on the outside that what to see an end to Butch and my relationship, but just like I have told his Mother it will never happen, and if people keep trying to accomplish this by evil and manipulative ways something worse than our break up will occur. I just pray that it doesn't get to that point.

Thanks for your comments but we have to stand up for what is right.

Budwoman and Renee; my heart goes out to you both. If only the D.O.C. would realize that if you treat someone with dignity and respect, you will make it so much easier for everyone. The prison officers over here (by and large) manage to treat the convicts as fellow human beings and the Govt. tries it's best (see my post under World Prison News; Prison street planned) The D.O.C. sound like they have really got their knickers in a knot about this whole situation and it's probably become a matter of pride with them now. But you guys will win, because you are loving giving people who WILL NOT lay down and die. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. One thing I'd like to add; on the movies you see the hero being attacked by someone who obviously wants to kill them (think Fatal Attraction, too many to mention)The hero retaliates and shoots or whatever. Next scene, back to happy families. Bull****!!! In the real world that person would be thrown in Prison. What was Butch to do? Wait until he was killed! This has got to change! And this is why it's so important that we all go to the P.T.O get together. On our own, we're just a voice in the desert, united, we're a voice to be reckoned with! Don't give up hope, and tell Butch there are so many of us sending good thoughts and prayers his way, he is never alone.

Renee: Hang in there, sweetheart. We are all pulling for Butch, as well as you. You are a beautiful, strong, loving, committed woman and you have an equally beautiful, strong, loving, and committed soon-to-be-mother-in-law on your side! Stay positive! If you need ANYTHING, I'm here for you! Just let me know ~ my car knows the way to Charlotte! *hugs*

Donna and Renee... sorry I'm late on this, but just read everything going on. This just really ticks me off. It is easy to say to stand strong and fight, I know how physically and mentally exhausting that can be. But to quit would be doing exactly what they want. If another letter writing campaign needs to be done.... well you know we are all here for you. How about everyone send a certified letter to Buth to where the mail room has to go get him and sign it in front of them? Maybe if every letter addresses the harrassment that is going on and letting him know that he is supported from around the world might give heads of to NCDOC?

Just doing some brain storming here.

Love both of you
Joy

Thanks to Everyone.

AprilCat, I called the attorney in Chapel Hill and he is not taking anymore cases until September of 2002 he is really busy! I have the name of a Law Professor at UNC Chapel Hill it is Richard Rosen. He was on TV concerning a documentary on people in prison and how unfair the justice system is. Do you know the address there so I can write him?

Joy,
I'm not sure if the letter deal would be good or bad? I'm trying to be careful right now on everything I do. There's a chance it would just make the DOC mader, and I don't what to take that chance right now.

Butch was written up yesterday for doing exercises, so I'm waiting to see what happens with that. Stupid Huh?

Muffin...

Butch was written up for doing exercises?? What the hell is their problem?? They need to GET A LIFE & leave Butch & you ALONE!! He's a good guy that does nothing wrong & they gotta give him sh** all the time!! Makes me SOO MAD! I feel you on the letter writing, no sense angering them anymore. If you can think of anything that I can do to help don't hesitate to ask me & I will do ALL that I can for you guys, ok??

Take care & stay strong througout this...tell Butch as well, ok!
DJ

Yea, It is stupid! Donna spoke to the superintendent this morning about all of this. I just hope he listened and will do the right thing and help Butch. I do not have alot of faith in anyone in the DOC, maybe I should but I don't.

If this guy is a decent human being he will try to look at the truth. All I know to do is pray really hard. Since Butch and I are not married I can't do anything to help him, as far as calling anyone.

I will be keeping the good thoughts going for Butch & that the superintendent is 1/2 way decent!!

I have an idea for you, check your pm when you get a chance.

You are right Renee.... I don't want to make things worse than they are now. Just want to help.....:)

I guess the best I can do now is just PRAY.

hang in there
Love ya both
Joy

THANKS ALL OF YOU.... RIGHT NOW, I THINK THE ONLY THING TO DO IS TO TRY AND LET ALL THIS DIE DOWN.... MAYBE IN A LITTLE WHILE THEY WILL FORGET RENEE AND BUTCH WILL FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND.... I GUESS, WHEN YOU ARE A PERSON THAT PEOPLE NOTICE, YOU STAY IN THE FOREFRONT. THAT IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE.... I DID SPEAK WITH THE SUPERENTINDENT. HE WAS NOT A BAD MAN NOR WAS HE RUDE. HE EXPLAINED THAT THE DOC HAD A JOB TO DO AND THAT BECAUSE OF AN ATTITUDE THEY GET FROM BUTCH, THEY DO NOT FEEL THEY CAN DO THAT JOB.

I KNOW THAT BUTCH CAN PORTRAY THAT SORT OF ATTITUDE FOR I HAVE SEEN HIM.... I ALSO KNOW HE IS ANGRY RIGHT NOW. SO, I HAVE DONE THIS GUYS... I HAVE BEEN ON MY KNEES TODAY DURING LUNCH AND I HAVE TURNED THIS OVER TO GOD. I HAVE PRAYED THAT THE GOOD LORD WILL TAKE THIS BURDEN AND ANSWER IT FOR ME. THAT HE WILL TELL US ALL THREE WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT. THAT IS THE ONLY HOPE AND ANSWER THAT WE HAVE.... PRAY FOR US TOO... WE SURELY NEED IT.

MY LOVE TO YOU
DONNA

DONNA- YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS EVERY DAY AND NIGHT- AND GOD DOES ANSWER PRAYERS. BETTER DAYS ARE COMING. I AM CERTAIN OF IT.

MUCH LOVE

muffin: I PM'd you some info about a couple of different guys up here at the law school! *hugs*

Thanks Aprilcat I am writing the letter right now.

Muffin...check your pm girl!!

I have. I don't know what is going on with this computer today. It shows me I have a new PM but when I go in it won't come up. I'm going to shut down and come back to see if that works.

It will not even accept my log out???????????????????????