I am new around here, only been around for about a week. I did just get a letter from my man today. I was worried about the lockdown, but apparently now I have many worries to add to the equation. I found out today that he has a detainer when he is released. Unfortunately, the two year wait may turn into a lifetime. I am so depressed today. I can't imagine my life without him, but can't imagine my life like this forever either. Thanks for listening to me and letting me vent.

Trying to keep my faith alive, but it sure is hard sometimes.

I am new around here, only been around for about a week. I did just get a letter from my man today. I was worried about the lockdown, but apparently now I have many worries to add to the equation. I found out today that he has a detainer when he is released. Unfortunately, the two year wait may turn into a lifetime. I am so depressed today. I can't imagine my life without him, but can't imagine my life like this forever either. Thanks for listening to me and letting me vent.

Trying to keep my faith alive, but it sure is hard sometimes.Im sorry you are feelin so down ,if I may ask,a detainer by who ?Gotcott

Im sorry you are feelin so down ,if I may ask,a detainer by who ?Gotcott

Yes nursema detainer????......also feel free to vent thats what we here for if we can help. take care

Sorry for the confusion. Although his release date is in a few years, he has to transfer to the state where the initial crime took place and face charges there too. I don't know all of the details ,he sent me the papers but I don't understand it all. We will have to see eachother for him to tell me all things. I just know it doesn't look good for my baby to be here in a few years. We need to find an attorney to help us out and see what we can do. I need him home and I am too impatient to wait even longer!!!!

Hang in there!! I promise time will ease all of your confusion and uneasiness!!! I know what it feels like to want to have him next to you. I also feel you on not being able to live without him...but still not knowing ifyou are strong enough to last? I question my strength daily. But the one thing that keeps me holding on is GOD. I pray and pray not only for us and our love...but for happiness and the gratitude to live each day in His love.

You will see what it will take to get into a routine. Him too. He needs to stay strong and rest easy knowing that you are here for him and doing everything you can to remain strong for the two of you. I don't much about your situation or if there are kids involved or what type of love you all share. But it sounds similar to my situation and I believe in us. I want you to feel free to private message me if you need to talk or share something.

I am new to this program or "support group" as well. I just joined last month and I don't get to check it very often. Not at all while I'm working. BUt I'm a single mom and going back to school as well. So i'm busy but never to busy to lend a helpful smile. I love knowing that everytime I miss my man...I can come here and vent and share my stories wiht someone who "feels" me. KNows where I'm coming from and I don't have to be ashamed or hide how miserable my heart is without my love!!!

I've shared wiht him that I love this place and he agrees that it's usefull and he appreciates the help I get from here. Just open up. Let it out and get to know some people. Look around and get familar. You will become at home and peace will take over. I would love to keep in touch. Just let me know how things are going every now and then...I'll keep praying!!!!

I realize this was posted a month and a half ago but a detainer isn't gonna be dealt with in that amount of time so I hope to explain a bit about it. It means that another county/state has placed a "hold" on him for trial on another charge. He could have something as simple as an outstanding warrant for anything (even traffic tickets). Most states won't extradite an inmate from fed system because it is expensive for them to do so, unless the charge is a significant one (ie. murder). Therefore it may be possible for him to get a letter from DOC in that state stating that do not wish to extradite him which releases the BOP detainer. The tricky part is getting the inital warrant dropped. Once the warrant is recalled then the whole mess is gone and dealt with.

I don't know if this explanation of things is very helpful or not or if you already knew all this but I had time to put my measly two cents in.

Thanks for the reply. We have made some progress since the last post, some good news and some not so good. I wish the whole thing would have been dropped!! That would have been awesome. Well, his attorney visited yesterday and I was anxious to hear about it, but they are locked down again (seems to be frequent over there). So far, the story is an additional few years (waaa) at the state prison followed by some probation. I will keep you posted if anything changes. My 23 month ticker will have to double if this happens!!YIKES!!