My Cousin is in prison he has been in and out since he was 15 he is now in his late 50’s
The first time he went away was for raping the police chiefs daughter every time he gets out he does another crime and goes right back in, he has done every thing from rape to attempt murder he is very violent, he not a very big guy 5’6 or so 120 lbs but he can be very dangerous he’s not afraid to pick up a weapon to make up for his size.
Last time I saw him I had just finished arresting a guy for drunk driving I was a part time Police officer my full time job was Firefighter /Paramedic any way I stopped by this convenience store late at night after leaving the jail from booking this drunk in, well in walks Walt I didn’t even know he was out this was about twenty years ago, truth be told he was more then likely going to rob the place, I don’t know who was more surprised me or Walt, anyway he’s back in the prison again this time CSC 1st degree I tend to think that prison is the best place for him he just can’t live on the out side…

I think you're right, it sounds like he can't live on the outside.

Not that I know from personal experience but they say that people who have been incarcerated most of their lives become comfortable being on the inside. They know they will always have a roof over their head, a bed to sleep in and a hot meal although its probably not the best and when it comes time for them to leave the uncertainty of how they will survive they committ another crime to return to a place of safety and security. I know it sounds ridiculous and that is probably why his crimes keep increasing the worse the crime the longer the stay. If he has been in and out for 35 years that is all he has ever known. Although generally people who have been inside dont want to return your cousin most likely doesnt know how to live in todays society and depending how long his sentences were for when he came out it was probably like stepping on a new planet. This by no means excuses any of his choices but I was reading a story somewhere I am sure on PTO where a person had been in for several years and they were using a restroom and didnt know how to turn the water on to wash their hands because we now how have the kind with the touchless sensors. Things we take for granted everyday that make our lives simplier may be complicated to him. Call me silly but from what I read of your post thats what it kind of sounds like.

This is referred to as being institutionalized, and is considered a disorder. So sad, but true.

I too wanted to post a story here.

Recently I have located a cousin, whom I lost touch with for about 16 years. My cousin spent his early childhood and teenage years as a foster child beginning at age two. He grew up in various children's shelters and foster care homes during the mid 60s back east. There are several nightmares that go with foster chidlren's stories, I'm sure all of which apply to him. He first got in trouble here in California at the age of 19, he was sentenced to 8.5 years and did 4 of those years at San Quentin. When he was released on parole, he was working a job for 24 Hour Fitness as a Salesmen, bad choice (credit card problems got him locked up the first time), he quit this job after only 3 months, for a wilder walk in life. Basically he hadn't been phased by being locked up, he had experienced institutions from the time he was 2, so you could say he was already programmed to be inside "somewhere". He got in trouble while on parole and slipped through the cracks and did 6 months of county time, (again back behind bars), then he finished that 6 months and was released from parole. During the first year he was released from his parole he met a woman who "took care of him", he used her and lived off her, only after finding out she had gotten a settlement of $250K. The poor woman was honet, hard working and a professional nurse. She got taken big time and feel for all his sob stories. They married, and he continued to get into trouble, still not working, the girl believed in him and actually bought him a car new at $35K, then paid tuition to a college (where he never attended) and she lost $4500 there. Finally he gets in trouble in 1993 (county), then 1996 (still married and leaves her in the jam and fleas the scene of the crime), then again in 2000. Basically he never grew up and he never stopped. Now he is back in prison and has been sentenced to 25-life I believe, he may never make it out. It's a terrible thing, but he's institutionalized, he never could adapt to being outside, it's sad because he's so nice, not a violent person. We in his family only pray he turns himself around and accepts where he is and makes the best use of his time that he can.

He is now about 43 years old and has spent 1/3 of his life behind bars and now he only has to look forward to the rest of his life. I'm sure his wife, whom we all never knew, left him, and who could blame her after all that drama, the poor woman didn't know what she was up against. So sad..he lost a good woman and ruined his own life and many others in the process.

I've been in touch with him by letters recently and am going to see him once approved. I've already set my expectations for what our relationship is going to be, it's out of loyalty to our family that I'm visiting him to try to offer some comfort. But one has to realize that although he and others like him are in this predicament, they made the choice to not turn their life around. As a grown up, he could have, he had every opportunity to but just didn't do it. You can't make them change, at some point, you just have to come to grip with they are who they are. It's really a sad story, but time and time again he proved to society he couldn't do it and you know what's really sad, he didn't sound all that sad about where he is in his first letter to me at all.

Oh well, all I can do is write, pray, send stamps and visit. I hope he has found the Lord and made peace with him and is trying to help himself.

Thanks for listening.