:angry:
Welp, husband gets out in one week today for domestic violence. He was only in for five months and he was on parole. No strike, either! I'm nervous. He has a 3 yr restraining order and all that. Still nervous, we have a 2 yr old son and sometimes when you have kids you'll do crazy things, that's how he got put in prison! I'm just hoping that he'll bury himself in a hole with back child support! What a loser! Anyway, not sure what to do, if I should go away for a week or so, or just stay put and not let him think he got to me. After all, I'm my own attorney in this stupid divorce which will be final the end of August-finally! He made it real easy for me. Anyway, any advice would be much appreciated! Have a good one! :thumbsup:

Wow. I am so sorry you are going through this. If you feel it is in your best interest to go away for a few days then do so. What is important is the safety of you and your child. Who cares what he thinks. A lot of women ended up dead or in a whole heap of trouble trying to play that: "I don't him to think he still has control game."

I would also reach out to my local D.V. center if I were you. Let them know what is going on and see what they suggest. I just wish you and your child the best of luck and God Bless.

Hi, and thanks for the advice. Will do some thinking about this. Isn't easy! Hate going thru this. You think it's over when they're locked up and that's actually only the beginning.:(

Hi Dori

I think going away for a few days might be a good idea. Do you think he will come straight to you even with a restraining order?

I know from experience my man did. He is in jail now for DV and probably will be there for a while.

Good luck with everything and if you wanna pm feel free to do so.

Hi, and thanks for the advice. Will do some thinking about this. Isn't easy! Hate going thru this. You think it's over when they're locked up and that's actually only the beginning.:(

i totally agree with you,my husband will be getting out in a couple months and i often worry about what will happen,like yours he went to prison because of his temper about his children with his ex,now we have a 1 1/2 year old and his kids are everything to him so it does make me worry,i wish you luck!me2!:eek:

My counselor told me it took about a year before you could assume that you were no longer in danger. (Sorry about that!) So going away for a few days really doesn't sound like much in comparison, but I would sure take a few steps - buy some pepper spray, keep important papers and some money stashed away from home, tell the local police what's happening (walk right in to the station, carrying his picture!!), buy a cheap cell-phone and program 911 into it. Put a fire ladder inside an upstairs window so you can get out if necessary. Tell your neighbors, and show them his pic. Ask them to be aware on your behalf. Tell your job. Have a friend check in with you regularly, and set up a code word that means get me help.
I do wish you luck, but being pro-active is your best bet for safety!

I totally agree with you on the ideas of what to do. The ladder was a good idea, was already on the other ideas long ago. But, never dawned on me to get a ladder. However, I am afraid of heights and how would I get my 2 year old down with me. Too scary, but man I hope it doesn't go this far. I really don't have a friend like that I can count on. Been kinda going thru this on my own as well as being the attorney in this divorce. Who knows, maybe he's not even mad. His gramma was trying to tell me something couple months ago that he wanted tell me Happy Mother's Day and I stopped her and said I didn't want to hear it. He is well aware of the parole condition to stay away from me or else he'll do a year flat. Sucks that i have to just sit here and wait and wonder.

Keep a baby sling near. And think about whether or not you are more afraid of climbing down a ladder or about him getting his hands on you.

Well, I know how scared he is of going back to prison every time, he's scared of the police and he won't break into my apt. He's the type that would wait around the corner while I'm getting in the car. Pepper Spray's a good idea, or a stun gun. He's more into his crack smoking than he was being a "wife beater." I was married to one of those years ago, and HE was a wife beater. This one is just some confused crackhead that THOUGHT he could get away with what he did. I'm a little nervous about him being out but not really worried about him breaking in. I feel safe inside my place, but if i let him in then that's another story. Depends if he's sober or clean but he never stays clean long. That's why our divorce will be final the end of August. He's more of an annoyance than anything, Hell, I could probably be more of an abuser than he could ever dream of. The hell I've had to deal with this year with jobs, court, his STUPID family, his crap, I'm pretty drained. Five months sure went by quick! But, in due time he'll put himself back in for not paying child support or another violation. I'll alert the neighbors, some of them were out here when that crap happened in Feb. so some know what he looks like.

I agree with Nimuay and I will also add to keep a bag packed with diapers and a few days of clothes in case you need to be out for a few days.