As I was doing my bible study I noticed that Keith had marked a verse in his bible. It was Philippians 1:21, For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. I read this and it gave me some peace, but I knew that it was more he was telling me from this, so I read the entire chapter and I went to Gateway.com and had translated the chapter into the message. I am posting it because to me Keith was giving me a message and I definately received it.

Philippians 1

1-2 Paul and Timothy, both of us committed servants of Christ Jesus, write this letter to all the followers of Jesus in Philippi, pastors and ministers included. We greet you with the grace and peace that comes from God our Father and our Master, Jesus Christ.
A Love That Will Grow

3-6 Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.


7-8 It's not at all fanciful for me to think this way about you. My prayers and hopes have deep roots in reality. You have, after all, stuck with me all the way from the time I was thrown in jail, put on trial, and came out of it in one piece. All along you have experienced with me the most generous help from God. He knows how much I love and miss you these days. Sometimes I think I feel as strongly about you as Christ does!

9-11 So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. They Can't Imprison the Message

12-14 I want to report to you, friends, that my imprisonment here has had the opposite of its intended effect. Instead of being squelched, the Message has actually prospered. All the soldiers here, and everyone else, too, found out that I'm in jail because of this Messiah. That piqued their curiosity, and now they've learned all about him. Not only that, but most of the followers of Jesus here have become far more sure of themselves in the faith than ever, speaking out fearlessly about God, about the Messiah.


15-17 It's true that some here preach Christ because with me out of the way, they think they'll step right into the spotlight. But the others do it with the best heart in the world. One group is motivated by pure love, knowing that I am here defending the Message, wanting to help. The others, now that I'm out of the picture, are merely greedy, hoping to get something out of it for themselves. Their motives are bad. They see me as their competition, and so the worse it goes for me, the better—they think—for them.

18-21 So how am I to respond? I've decided that I really don't care about their motives, whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time one of them opens his mouth, Christ is proclaimed, so I just cheer them on!
And I'm going to keep that celebration going because I know how it's going to turn out. Through your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, everything he wants to do in and through me will be done. I can hardly wait to continue on my course. I don't expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger; dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose.

22-26 As long as I'm alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I'd choose. Hard choice! The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of nothing better. But most days, because of what you are going through, I am sure that it's better for me to stick it out here. So I plan to be around awhile, companion to you as your growth and joy in this life of trusting God continues. You can start looking forward to a great reunion when I come visit you again. We'll be praising Christ, enjoying each other.
27-30 Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance. Stand united, singular in vision, contending for people's trust in the Message, the good news, not flinching or dodging in the slightest before the opposition. Your courage and unity will show them what they're up against: defeat for them, victory for you—and both because of God. There's far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There's also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting. You're involved in the same kind of struggle you saw me go through, on which you are now getting an updated report in this letter.

Menia, I have been following your posts and I hope that you are finding the peace you need.

Menia, that is so heart touching, He will always be with you forever and always!!!!

i enjoyed reading this,sorry for your loss menia.....:( but powerful words i did get chills reading this twice already,thnx for posting this.

Menia,
I no how hard it is to lose a husband, I also lost mine 6 yrs ago this past July 24. I was wondering could you pm me or explain here on the board how you did that? You said you went to Gateway.com. My husband read the bible everynight before he went to bed, and he has underlined a lot. I would like to do this also. I am not smart enought to figure this out. But can learn. It was a wonderful thing to read what you posted.
Again i send you my best.

I am sorry I posted Gateway.com, but it is actually BibleGateway.com. Each day I read the verse of the day posted on that site and then I go to his bible and look and see if he had made notes on that specific verse. Each morning I read it and if he has underlined or highlighted it I keep reading it until I get the message he had for me. When I ran across Philippians 1:21, I just knew there was something special he was trying to tell me. You see when Keith had the accident he was airlifted to the hospital in Hattiesburg. I live about 45 minutes to an hour away. When I got o the hospital they had revived him, but they had done that several times and they kept bringing him back. When I go to the ICU unit he was still alive, and they let me see him, he was unconcious, but I know he knew I was there, then he took his last breath and died. To me he was explaning to me why he had to go, and why. In that chapter it explained to me how to live my life after he was gone. I also found a piece of paper where he had written another note to me. It was called "Suffering for Going Good". It says Now who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it, so don't be afraid and don't worry. You see there was so many things going on with his family and me, and he knew that I was going to have to go through some things with them and he was telling me how to handle it. After I read that verse in the bible for 5 days things worked out with his family and I had a better understanding of what he was telling me. It just made everything so clear in our relationship, the things he endured when he went to the halfway house, and the things people was saying. It just brought me so much relief. Borflipflops36 I encourage you to read each thing he underlined, and go to the website and translate it in the form that you and better understand the message. It has been a Godsend to me.

I am sorry that you are dealing with the death of your husband, I know what you are dealing with. Somedays you will be feeling so good, then others you will not be able to put it out of your mind. Just began each morning in prayer and pray continuously throughout the day and for me that seems to help. God is the only one that will carry you through this. People are there sometimes, but they seem to fade away but the words of the Lord last forever.

Thanls Menia,
I am going to do that. I am still searching for the reason he died. It was hard to watch a healthy man of 70 yrs old to go from being up and working to a invalid in 5 mo. The first thing i noticed was He was not reading his bible at night as he all ways did, Every night! Then in Church sunday march 2000 he is pulling at his right eye, like he was trying to keep it open. I just whispered to him, IS the preacher boring?? You going to sleep? (He always was saying amen I knew he wasnt)Then i ask him after church, What happen to your eye, He asnwered-It was trying to freeze shut on me! I then ask him had it happen before? He said no. Then it was him getting up and saying I have had muscle jerking all night!! Then april 1st he fell in the yard! and that night he begin to laugh he could not get out what he wanted to say for laughing, He was getting worse so april 24 i took him to the DR. AND HE CRIED LIKE A BABY. He told the DR AS HE WAS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD TO WORK HIS EYES WOULD FREEZE TO THE BUMPER, IT WOULDNT GO AWAY, EVEN WHEN HE TURNED HIS HEAD. Then he walked like a man with his feet glued to the floor, a gait walk. more muscle spasams in right leg, falling, cant walk without a walker, Then he cant get up own his own, has to sleep in a recliner can't lift his legs or arms, to get in shower. Fineally end of Sept, He lost his ability to Eat, Walk, Talk, or move, the last word he spoke was Mary. He said just 3 weeks before that I feel like I am trapped in my body! He was and at that point the Dr still did not no, or had not told us They suspected. CJD, the human form of Mad Cow Disease. When he was took to hospital and i demaned they put him in hospital he was jerking every few min, you could see the rippling as it moved down his arm to his left leg and would draw up to leave a deep indention in his leg from the knee to the groin,
I brought him home and cared for him in the hospital bed and read the bible to him everyday. He could hear and new everything but could not get a word out. I did that for 9 moths day and night i cared for my beloved.
In the hospital, I went in and took his right hand, and layed my other hand own his chest--I begin to talk to him----I said Honey I am going to ask you a question and If the answer is yes, squeeze my hand. If its NO don't squeeze. I said-Honey they want to put a feeding tube right here in your stomach, because you have lost your ability to swollow. It is not going to cure you they don't no what is wrong. It is only going to KEEP YOU with us a little longer. God is short own Angels!! He squeezed my hand and i said Honey are you sure this is what you want, if so squeeze my hand again, HE DID, and a Tear fell from his eyes. So my devotion to my husband never left me. Iloved that man and he loved me. So i got into his body and keep him comfortable and loved him, talk to him, he would even try to get a chuckle out. But i read the bible of his to him everyday, I saw all the things he had underlined. One night i said, Honey I no you are tired, Why don;t you go to see Jesus, don't you see your Mom and your brothers and my Daddy waiting own you? I will be ok and so will the children, your tried and i am also. We will be ok.
2 hrs later my daughter was sitting by his bed reading Psalm 27; verse 4 when she looked over at him and she ran to me and said i think he is dying! I went in and he was. He took about 4 more breaths and was gone, just like going to sleep. And when he took his last breath a tear fell from his right eye. I said as i cried. Oh, Jesus wept!
Sorry i went on so long but i just felt the need to tell loss of my husband.
We never stop loving them. Thanks for sharing this with me. I will go to the web site each morning. I did not no it was even there.

In Psalm 27, vs 4, wow, that is what he wanted from the Lord and evidently he felt at peace with that she was reading because it was at that point that he let go. He already knew that it was ok with you for him to go home to Jesus and I know that when she read that particular verse it was the perfect time for him to let go and go home.

Pslam 24, verse 4

I'm asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I'll contemplate his beauty;
I'll study at his feet.

In verse 3 it says:

When besieged,
I'm calm as a baby.
When all hell breaks loose,
I'm collected and cool.

So to me that means he has accepted the Lord and his fate and he was ready. Sometimes we have to look for what the Lord is telling us. I am sure when you read the things he underlined in his bible it will give you a lot of answers and peace as it has done for me. With each verse I look up that he has highlighted it seems to me that he was preparing it for me to read when he was not going to be here with me on this earth, but he was planning for our life ever after.

With his death and you searching for answers, you will read your bible because the Lord has all we need, you will see that while you was helping him while he was in the hospital, he is helping you because you will get to the Lord in a way you have never known him before because you will read your bible more, and you will get closer and closer to the Lord. The Lord is our key in dealing with the lost of our loved ones. For me I feel that the Lord took him home, but he preparing me to join him someday.

(((hugs))) to you

Thank you Menia,
I am praying for you and all others who have lost someone in death. It is really hard, but we have our faith to get us thru. I am so glad God loaned him to me for 37 yrs. What a blessing.

Hugs~ God bless