I have been a victim of DV for a year and a half. My boyfriend or should I say X has been arrested three times for his abuse toward me. there have been many more incidents that have gone unreported. Finally i found the strenghth to get out and he was arrested thursday for beating me up....that will be his last time. I went to court and got a restraining order the morning he was arrainged and he will be doing some sort of time. Anyways when I left the court house his family followed me outside 4 sisters and they would not let me get into my car and threathened me because ther ebrother was going to jail. They also spit on me. They are crazy and I am still scared, I have not been at my house since court and I know they are going to damage my property and harrass me eveytime they see me. This is not fair because I am still being intimidated if not by him but because of him. can the RO be extended to his family??? I hope someone has some type of advice i feel so depressed knowing i took the step to get away and believe me it was sooo hard and still i am not sure if it was the right step and not i got to deal with being put in fear anyways.

thanks if anyone has some insight

A restraining order can be extended to people that you associate with, like your children, friends or other relatives to keep him from contacting or harrasing them because of you. In order to stop HIS family or friends from harrasing you, you must get a seperate restraining order against that person. That is the only thing that you can do. I do hope that you reported the incident that happened after court to the authorities. If it is found that he has asked them to do this, he could be found in violation of the order and will have additional time added to his sentence. The courts do not take domestic violence and restraining orders lightly. Report every incident to the police to protect yourself.

Get an extension on your restraining order and get a gun(Ive said that to someone before) And stop please stop letting those people disrespect you. You've stood up to your abuser everyone else should be a piece of cake. I dont mean no harm but had it been me and his sister spit on me outside of that courthouse they wouldve been dragginig me back in there in handcuffs. Whats even worse they are women condoning abuse to another woman. Stand up for yourself.

Keep a document of every incident and report every event to the police. Carry a mini tape recorder -the voice activated kind, in your purse or pocket at all times. Get a recorder device ( Radio Shack) for your landline if you have one too.

First of all, you need to report the spitting incident to police. I've seen spitting be charged as felonious assault in the past. Additionally, they could be charged with intimidating a victim/witness. You can't extend the CRIMINAL protection order to them but you could get a separate civil order. I'd also look up a local victims services agency so that a victim advocate can accompany you to court in the future. I'd also get a police escort to your car when you leave court in the future. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! Also, let the prosecutor know what is going on with his family. It may just take a call to his attorney to yell at his family to get them to straighten up. They may not realize that they're making it harder on him by them acting up.

People are dumb sometimes, I swear. Good luck and be safe!

This is semi off topic - not totally. There is an inmate in the prison my son is at who along with his brother has charges of "assault by bodily fluid" which is a fancy way of saying spitting. These were not the primary charges that put those two in prison-they are just extra charges but they were part of the conviction and a consideration for some of the time they got. The spitting was a consideration because of bodily fluid born diseases.

Keep a document of every incident and report every event to the police. Carry a mini tape recorder -the voice activated kind, in your purse or pocket at all times. Get a recorder device ( Radio Shack) for your landline if you have one too.

If you decide to get a recording device for your landline phone, please check on the law in your state. Some states only require that one participant in a phone conversation (that would be you) know and give consent that it is being recorded. But it is illegal in some states to record a phone conversation without the knowledge and consent of both participants.

For example, Linda Tripp was prosecuted in the state of Maryland for recording her conversations with Monica Lewinsky because the state of Maryland requires that both parties in the conversation know and consent to being recorded.

I would get an extended RO against the rest of the family that is harassing you. This situation seems very dangerous to me. I can see where he gets his violent tendencies because his sisters are behaving in a violent way as well.

Brenda; please as some above me here have mentioned, document everything like that incident. Try to get an RO against the family also. You do not deserve this You are the victim not the aggressor. Do not let these people do this to you. You also made the statement you don't know if it was the right thing. Women are the greatest gift God created for mankind and should be treated as such. God did not put you here to be beaten on and mistreated in such a manner. Unfortunately men have been doing it since almost the beginning of time. I guess it must be the balance of the beast but I for one deplore a man who does this to a woman. You took the first step; now finsih it with going the next step against the family. Sorry I got carried away but it just makes me sick to hear about a woman being done this way.

Just call the law if they keep bothering you--the restraining order tells you that he may not bother you in any way--not threw friends, family, calls, etc...They willl be led away from you with a warning the first time and the 2nd time they will be arrested.
I saw up there where someone told you to get a gun, I wouldn't do that unless I was really sure I could use it because it can be taken away from you and used on you instead. Of course those thats just my opinion but I understand real well how fast anger can get out of control. sokie

Thank you all so much. I would like to get a RO for the family but in order to get a RO don't u have to be blood related or involved in a romantic relationship at the time or in the past?? Thanks again for all your responses i am already going through a hard time with this big change in my life believe me it is hard to leave someone that spent 2 years with even if they are abusive.

Brenda, you will have to check your state laws, and a domestic violence center can usually help you do that. This one's for Mass.

http://www.womenslaw.org/MA/MA_links.htm

Usually you can get restraining orders on anyone who is harassing you, related or not. But you do want witnesses, or recordings or letters for back-up.

Once you contact the domestic violence agency, talk with them about helping you get over your relationship. That's their specialty!

It sounds to me like you need to be in a womens shelter or staying somewhere unknown to this family.
I am concerned for you.
A week has past...so how ya' doin'?

BEEN THERE DONE THAT. I WAS ABUSED FOR 13 YEAR. IT TAKES A LOT TO GET OUT OF THAT KIND OF SITUATION, IT'S NOT AS EASY EVERYONE THINKS. AND YES IT'S EVEN HARDER WHEN YOU LOVE THAT PERSON. BUT YOU WILL GET OVER IT . AND IN TIME TIME YOU WONDER WHY UP PUT UP WITH IT. GOOD LUCK AND MESSAGE ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK:thumbsup: