I am in a full out funk. I wait patiently for mail all week. Mon Tue Wed Thur Fri and long freaking last Sat mail comes, and it feels fat. A nice fat letter. My week has been worth while in the waiting and the stalking of the mail truck.
Except for I did not get a letter from my fella, I got a to do list. People to get address for or to call, Race results missed/print outs. A list of books and magazines wanted next. I get a damn to-do list in the mail. I am beside myself with annoyance.

Yes, he is newly dumped in the hole for whatever reason, and yes he needs me and my support, but dang it where is my support? I need a chin up letter and some soft words just as much as he does.
My friends don’t want to hear this problem, I have you who may understand me. Do I let him have it full force telling him how disappointed I am or just let it slide? Its not like him to be this way and I know every person is different, but I don’t know. I am so very sad :(

Hugs maybe you can explain to him that you need some support during this and not a to do list. To do list can be alot to handle at times. You said that this is not something he would normally do then I would not go off on him but just let him know that you dont like them. Hang in there.

Thanks for your reply. I dont mind the list of things he needs. sigh I guess I am just feeling really really bad. I am over it and want him to come home. I am crying my eyes out right now. I am over it.
Can you tell? lol

HI,

I did 27 mos and had no support at all, if I were you Id tell him like it is, how you feel !!!! I would of given anything just to have some one that actually cared, my fiance ended up with my best friend ect .......

so tell him how you feel !!!

he wont go anywhere and more then likely will respect you more for it and if he doesnt its his lose

Well, my advice isnt going to be what you would like to hear. But here goes. You have the opportunity to come online or pick up a phone or go out with friends, any number of things that can take your mind of your funk or bring some emotional relief. He has nothing right now while in the hole. They go kinda crazy in there, not much you can do about it but wait for it to end.

What ever you do, you always have here to come and speak to people who know what you are going thru.

I hear ya yzz, I tell myself those things everyday. I do feel better today. It prob does not help that I am quitting smoking, 6 weeks this week .. well less the one I had yesterday as I was about ready to explode. Took an early morning walk today to clear my head. Tore up the response letter I was going to send him and replaced it with a chin up and soft words.
It does help to have people listen that understand, than you for your reply, means alot to have people take the time out of their day to read and respond.

GOODT, I will tell him, just not right now. Have to let it slide, I can not give him extra crap to deal with. I am sorry you had no support. He tells me often he does not know what he would do without me, it was your words that had me tear up my first response. He needs me and I need to be here. Of course if all of a sudden all I am is an errand girl, well I will /thwap him heh.

Thanks everyone. Was good to vent!

My first thought about the to-do list was - he's checking to make sure, since going to the hole, that you're still stickin' by him. If you'll do these things for him, then to him, you are. That said, it's really up to you how much you want to do from the list. But I also think you should tell him, at some point, that you don't want to just be his secretary - that you need some positive affirmations from him too! Communication is the key - both ways. Otherwise, how does he know how you're feeling - and if you can tell him how you feel, perhaps that will create an opening for him to talk more about how he feels. Just my opinion. Z.

Oh Zelda, I did the whole list for him today. :o Had to, he needs me to, if I won't then it won't get done.
I will let him know how it made me feel. Hard part is the delay in mail now. Where as before it was no longer than a few days between sending mail and getting it, now its almost two weeks. It almost sees pointless to have friction that is so far in the past. Ever feel like your time lines are so far apart?

Oh yeah - I know that feeling. Especially when your letters cross in the mail - and you get that letter that is so sweet just after posting a letter saying that you feel neglected!! With a prison relationship, you just have to "roll with the punches" and if you can both keep a good sense of humor, you'll get through it. Z.

okay... like you said... you have us!!! I read something here last week bout this young lady not having a letter from her Lifer for over 13 days... man... I was crying!! I kid you not... you do need support, but hey... thank God we all have one another! :thumbsup: