I was woundering have any of your man ever took a batterer's intervention program.
What was the out come did any of ya see any type of change?
Did you feel like you could trust him after wards.

Mine was supposed to several times, each time I got a restraining order (there were three), but never went and no one ever followed up to make sure he did. He knew that they didn't do anything about it which was why he never bothered. One thing that I would like to add, is that abusers never change. Statistically, only 1 to 2 % stop and that is with extensive ongoing therapy. This must continue for the rest of their lives, or otherwise they go right back to their abusive ways.

Lovin is pretty much right. And if it's a batterer's program that doesn't have your input (but not in a session WITH him) then he can skate with all sorts of omissions and excuses.
The odds on "recovery" do such, because the personality types (generally Narcissistic or sociopathic) are almost impossible to change. They somehow lose their ability to care for others, so when they abuse they just don't get why this is so wrong. It really is hard to re-create empathy. Once it's gone, it tends to be gone for good.

My husband was enrolled in domestic violence/anger management classes because of one of the beating he gave me--court ordered and costed us money. The classes made him angry and he would usually be drinking when he came home so it made things worst.
I think they teach you things in class but he used what they taught him to hurt me more. After he found out he could and would go to jail at signs of abusing me then he would hit me in the stomach, chest, back or wherever my clothes would cover it--until this last time and he didn't care anymore.
In my personal opinion these classes, if court ordered, do not help the situation but make it worst because they become angry all over again because they have to go to them. I don't have any experience with a man who wanted to change so I don't know if they work if they want them too. sokie

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

And I imagine the same would have happened to me or any other woman in our situation. I'm reading "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft.(the one Nimuay recommended) And he discusses this in the book. I hope you have a copy.

Joe is in court ordered treatment right now. But he is also in jail without bond so I feel pretty safe for the time being.
But if he got out I'm sure he would try to make me "pay for" having to sit in group and "be lectured to."

One thing I learned from the last 10 years is that none of the "interventions" of the court have done anything to improve my quality of life.

Except for putting him in jail and not letting him out.

((((((((hugs)))))))) still:)