I got into a heated debate with someone over the death penalty, and whether it was ever justified, and they said that if a person was never going to be let out of prison, and therefore would never contribute anything to society, we might as well do away with them, instead of "wasting" tax payer dollars to support them for the rest of their natural lives.

This struck me as being INCREDIBLY callous and cruel, but sadly, I know that there are a lot of people out there that feel this way. :( I tried not to let it get to me, but I have been crying off and on ever since! :cry: It hurt beyond words, to hear someone say that the life of the man I love has no value or meaning. That he is "disposable" like trash!

Well, his life DOES have value and meaning to ME, and to those that love him. And he HAS and continues to make a difference in MY life. I don't know what I'd do without him. I just don't understand how someone could be so mean! :(

I know that there are other's on this board whose loved one is either serving LWOP or is on "death row" and I just wanted to know if you have had somoene make similar remarks to you in the past, and if so, how did you handle it? Was it upsetting to you? Did it hurt? I know that for me, it felt as though someone had driven a knife through my heart.

Lisa

Wow, Lisa, I'm sorry someone would say such a crappy thing to you. No one in my life has ever said that to me about my husband. Maybe they say it behind my back. he has lwop. I sure hope they never say it to my face. That is a very sick way of thinking. What is this bs about contributing to society? If that was the case I could think of millions of people who would be dead...well, there are all the lawyers who do useless work shuffling papers for the rich, there are old people, there are young disabled people. How can anyone make a determination of whose life is worth what? That makes me really mad, but I wouldn't let it get to you because that person is obviously not the sharpest tack, if you know what i mean. Lisa, is Steven on DR or does he have life?

The person who made that comment is not someone that is close to me, just an acquaintance. I tried VERY hard not to let it bother me, but of course, it is difficult, when emotions are involved.

I believe that EVERYONE is here for a reason, and has something to contribute. The life of the homeless man on the street, has no more or less value than that of a rich man. I also believe that we can learn something from every person we meet, and every experience that we have. Steven has taught me so much, and opened my eyes to things that I wasn't even aware of, before he came into my life.

Steven is not on "death row" thank God(I don't know how I would deal with that!) nor is he serving LWOP. He does have the possibility for parole, but of course, while we don't like to think about it, there is always that chance that he will never leave prison. Which would be a damn shame, because he really does have a good heart, and a lot to share with and give to the world.

Lisa

I hope what i wrote didn't sound bad. I just meant that if you judge someone's worth by their so-called financial contribution to society, most of society would be dead! Well, that is the attitude our government would like us to have about prisoners. It's called dehumanization and without it they would not be able to imprison and kill with impunity. There is a new very good book by the guy Zimbardo, who did the Stanford prison experiment. It is called the Lucifer Effect and it is about the whole process of dehumanizing prisoners. It include Abu Ghraib and is really an interesting read...instead of the bad apple theory, it talks about the bad barrel. I totally believe that. So that is what we're dealing with - propaganda from the bad barrel.

No, no girl! I understood EXACTLY what you meant, and it didn't sound bad at all! It was right on! :thumbsup: Even in prison, there are things that one can do, to make a difference. For example, there are programs where inmates can train seeing eye dogs. Or read books on tape, for those who are visually impaired. Or teach a fellow inmate, who WILL eventually be released how to read. Educate themselves, and provide free legal counsel to inmates etc etc.

They CAN contribute to the betterment of society, even from behind bars! We just have to use our imaginations, and be a little creative. Instead of trying to come up with more "innovative" ways to punish inmates, and make them suffer, or kill them in a more "humane" fashion, perhaps we can expend our time and energy on trying to come up with ways that inmates can give something back to the community, and make ammends.

That books sounds REALLY interesting! I think I will look for it, the next time I visit the library.

This person just kept going on and on about serial killers, and people who committ particularly heinous crimes, and how it sickens her that her tax dollars go towards keeping them alive and blah blah blah. :mad: Apparenlty she would rather her tax dollars go towards murdering people! People like HER make ME sick!

Lisa

You have that fighting spirit and a lot of compassion, so this will happen to you a lot. But it is a good thing, makes us stronger and forces us to tighten up and articulate our arguments better. I don't bother talking to people like that, to be honest. I guess I'm just too old now :)

Well, I don't randomly get strangers telling me that his life isn't worthwhile, he deserves to die, etc., mostly because though people know he is in prison, I try not to advertise his sentence unless it is just really an issue and the person, for whatever reason, needs to know. However, for the people who DO know the "whole story", I get a lot of crap because when someone (and I am thinking of one person in particular, but it has happened with more than one person) gets angry with me, they use him and his sentence as some sick sort of "weapon" against me - for example, this person was angry at me today and told me that he wouldn't be happy until I was crying and J was dead. I hang up the phone, leave the conversation, or do whatever I have to do to distance myself from it, because I just can't live like that. I will defend J to the death (literally and figuratively), but if I don't HAVE to subject myself to the torture of hearing statements like that, then I try not to. It *is* upsetting and it *does* hurt, but all I can do is stay consistent with what I know to be true, which is that he is a worthy person who deserves everything wonderful that life has to offer, and I state my position to the person who is making the offensive comment and then walk away from it.