I was just wondering, what does planning a wedding at Holman entail? I know that there are people on the board who are engaged to be married or have married an inmate, at Holman. What is/isn't allowed? I guess you don't have a lot of freedom in terms of being creative, and personalizing the service huh? That is why I think I would prefer to wait, so that Steven and I can plan our dream wedding, without ANY intereferance from anyone!

I want sort of an unconvential wedding! I would just love to get married at Midnight, on Halloween, and have our guests come in costume! For me, tradition spells BORING! Since blue is my favorite color, I would like to wear a blue wedding dress! Don't plan on being "given away" OR on changing my last name either, as I believe those traditions to be sexist! BOTH of my parents will be walking me down the aisle, and Steven and I will be writing our own vows!

For those of you out here who have thought about getting married, what does YOUR dream wedding look like? Thought this would be kind of a fun topic!

Lisa

Bookworm...we must be running on the same wave length...as usual. *Smiles. Actually, this runs along with (I beklieve it was Snakecharmer's post) asking if our loved one could post a topic...what would it be? I asked my sweetie about that a little while ago. He said he didn't really know what he'd want to post. All he's wondering about is when we're getting married?!? I have some "past wreckage" I need to get cleaned up first...but once the dust settles...I'm ready! Although I SWORE I would NEVER marry again! LOL. Ain't love grand?
As far as "Holman Weddings"...from what I've read...& from what he's told me about weddings that have taken place there (that he has personal knowledge about)....we're kind of limited (imagine that)!
I believe you can have up to 8 guests. Pretty much the same rules apply as far as "dress codes" goes. I'm sure you could wear a beautiful dress...as long as it's mid-calf in length, not sleeveless, not low cut, not see through, not white, & with a slip. You can exchange rings...although the value of the ring (his) should be kept to a minimum (I believe it stated $50 ????). You can look it up through the ADOC...for Holman. I know you have to get it approved...then get your license (which I've heard can be a hassle...especially if you're long distance), etc. My dream wedding ??? Just for us to get married is dreamy enough for me. Third time is a charm! For me...my previous 2 were not "traditional" in any sense of the word. First time, married in the back of a grocery store....marriage lasted a whole 4 months! Second time, in my mother-in-law's back yard. She lived in the heart of cracktown. Drug dealer's were honking & waving at us as they drove by...great! I was expecting a drive by at any moment! So prison won't be a problem for me. Nothing I do is "normal". It's looking like Holman will be our "setting" (unless he get's a transfer before then). I would LOVE to be able to surprise him & have his sister present. They were very close. He hasn't seen her (or any of his family as far as that goes) since he's been in...8 yrs. now. I do know we'd like to exchange our own personal vows. To be able to consummate the marriage would be awesome...a dream come true!

Wow, it would be tough to plan my dream wedding under circumstances like that, which is why I would prefer to wait! I want all of our family and friends to be there, and I want there to be sumptous food, and good music, and dancing, and lots of lively convesation and laughter! I want it to be the best day of both of our lives!

I don't want to have someone dictate to me what I can and can not wear, who can and can not attend, how close we can hold one another, how long we can spend with one another etc etc. Besides, it would just break my parents heart to see me get married in a prison visiting room! I must admitt, I wouldn't want that for MY daughter either. I would want it to be special. A day that she would remember with great fondness, for as long as she lived! And I would want her to be surrounded with beauty and love and happiness! Not lonliness, sadness and despair.


Lisa

Oh, and I wouldn't want to go home to an empty house, and an empty bed! :( I would want to fall asleep in my husband's arms, and wake up beside him, and feed each other strawberries and whipped cream, then take a long, hot shower together!

Lisa

Well, Im getting married June 26th!!! It's definitely going to be unconventional by many people's standards! But, it is what it is, and I plan on making the best of it. The DOC has taken alot away from us, but they can't take away the meaning that goes with the vows.

My dream wedding would be to elope on an island, with no more then 15 people present.

Girl.. i am SO happy for the 2 of yall( but you already know that)
When Love is true and Strong, Nothing can stand in the way.. ( not even the DOC) yall have happiness ... no matter how bumpy the road is i'm proud that yall sit back , smile, and enjoy the ride!
CONGRATS.... on everything! *hugs*

I thought it would be cool to get married on Halloween...My 1st marriage was in Oct. but not on Halloween, although we did think about it...As far as a dream wedding...on the beach somewhere, at sunset....As far as the DOC, it generally 8 guest, no white, you can have wedding cake and drinks, and bring in 1 disposable camera...the ring (for him) can't be valued at no more than $50, and the DOC gets to pick what month you get amrried in, and in some cases the date, which stinks...

nad 25:

Congratualtions to you and your beau! I am wishing you both a lifetime of love and happiness, in each other's arms!

June 26th isn't that far off girl! Have you made a guest list? Picked out your dress? The ring? What about your vows? Are the two of you going to write youir own? I am so excited for you girl! Come on, spill! :) :) Forgive me! I seem to have come down with a bad case of wedding fever! :eek: :eek:

Also, I am wondering. Someone said that you can have a cake and drinks. Do they have to be non-alcoholic beverages? And how long, after the two of you have officially been declared husband and wife, do you and the guests get to spend at the "reception"? Are music/dancing allowed?

Lisa

I have ANOTHER question! LOL What about food?

Lisa

Lisa! WHOA GIRL! lol
First off, thank you!!! The only people who cna attend are those on his list...that list includes me and his grandma and then some extended family that he has not sees in years and years. So it will be me and him and maybe his grandma. Oh well...the lack of time we spend together, i'm not all to sad that it will only us two. We get something like 2 hours afterwards, and that's it. They dont make any special allowances at all. In fact, I think we get less time together then we would at a regular visit. F#@$EN SH%T!!! (Breath in....breath out....breath in....breath out...) ok...im better!
I can bring in the wedding bands and a cake, along with drinks (non alcoholic) and a camera. No music, no dancing, nada!
There is nothing different on this day then a regulr visit except you get married and can eat cake!
As far as clothes go, youhave to follow rules as always so I bought a pink babydoll type shirt that is quite long which gives it the look of a dress and its a nice flowing material, and i'll wear that with some black pants. I'm not big on dressing up so it's all good!
I'll send ya pictures if ya like!

Lisa,

Like Nad 25 said above, non-alcholic drinks...no food other than the cake. Me and my hubby got married at Elmore and we got from 11am until 1pm (so just 2 hours for everything) It was ok since i got to see him a few days later for visitation..you still have to follow the dress code...nothing white..

nad 25:

That must be upsetting, not being able to have your parents present? I don't think I could get married without my mom being there at least. She and I are very close! I admire the both of you, for not allowing the circumstances to put a damper on things, and remaining focused on the most important thing of all, which is the love that you feel for one another. I hope that your special day will be wonderful! And sure, I would LOVE to see pictures, if you would care to share!

Hey, maybe you could have the "reception" afterwards? Go out for a nice dinner and drinks with family/friends who were unable to be there afterwards? Of course, it would be tough, not having your husband there with you. :( Sigh. I wish they would give you at least the usual six hours, to spend together. I don't see what the big deal is! Growl. :mad:

Just wondering. Did you have to meet with the Chaplain first? I read somewhere that you have to meet with him/get his approval prior? I would have a BIG problem with that, because I am not a Christian, and I certainly don't appreciate people shoving their own personal religious beliefs down MY throat! And also, I am an intelligent, mature, grown woman! I am more than capable of making my own decisions, thank you very much! I read that one woman had to stifle her laughter, when the Chaplain explained that her husband would "be the head of the house hold"(even though he is in prison!) and that as his wife, it was her "duty to obey him". Yeah, like didn't that go out in the 1920's? LOL I would have probably said something! Me and my big mouth! Sounds like a chauvenist pig to me! Yuck! I have also heard that sometimes the Chaplain tries to discourage women from getting married to the inmate! I hope that you had a more positive experience!

Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now, and wish you the very best! I will be thinking of the two of you on your special day, and sending warm wishes your way! :thumbsup:

All the best,

Lisa

The night we get married, I will probably go out to dinner and then just hang out with some freinds and let it all sink in!
Oh, and im reading your post and I write this...only Holman allows 6 hour visits! All other places are 3 :(
About the Chaplain...at Donaldson where Kenney is at now, he is really nice. No therapy sessions needed, and he didn't say much to discourage me. He asked "are you freely making this choice?" to which i said YUP!
That was it. He's been really helpful and freindly actually. I just hope that this isn't a mass wedding and that although many couples will be getting married, they will do each one individually.

nad 25:

Well, best of luck to you girl! Can't wait to hear all about it! :)

Lisa

I'm glad the Chaplain wasn't a Drag. I'm sure everything will go great that day. It's really makes me smile to think about you and kenny getting married. Yall Have came a long way.. and have a wonderfull life ahead of yall to expereince together in great detail! Yalls hearts are in the right place... nothing else matters!
yall deserve much happiness girl!!!
*hugs*

I'm getting married in the morning ding dong the bells are gonna shine la la la happy day's oh happy day's.... tra la la la la la la

lol lol lol .... I fell you girl! I REALLY hope the whole thing goes well and the guards make it as pleasant as can be! Congrats!

Ha ha ha nad, i'm not getting married I was just singing it for you girl's my bad, never know it may happen for me one day!

You will be just fine, I'm so happy for the two of you! so a big CONGRAT'S to you!

I just had a thought, I should do a thread on this in march we should all have a HUGE meet up! as my crazy ass is out in bama, all us girl#s go out and get crunked UP!

I think having a Holman board get together would be a lot of fun! And Nadia, you need to start your countdown, girl! You only have like 20 days left as a single woman, right? I'm so happy for you, but I'm a little envious too. ;-) I want my date set NOW!!!!

awww.... CS, is the ball rolling? i mean, has an application been sent it to the chaplain??? Yeah im counting the days down til I get my ball and chain! haha 19 days and counting....

Rock Chick...very funny! I took you literally!

So funny cuz Kenney is at Donaldson now but was at holman for over 10 years so im still part of the Holman family ok?!!! besides Donaldson has no one that posts anything...BORING! The only good thing about Donaldson v. holman is that the visits are a little more active like we can go outside to smoke...but i miss the 5 and 6 hour visits at holman...donaldson is only 3, sometimes 2 :(

Yep, our ball is rolling. . . . it sure does roll pretty slow down there, though.

19 days!!!! Gosh, that's so SOON!!!!! Are you doing a bachelorette party or anything else to prepare for the big day?

So the visits are more "active", huh?? LMAO!!!!! Just how much more active can you get up there?

ok, well not THAT active! hahaha
But I mean its a much bigger visitation room with more room and opportunity to walk around...go outside...
I am having sort of a bachelorette party i guess...just dinner with some freinds...
trying to keep my spirits high!

Well, you know, the word "active" is usually used in conjunction with another word. ;-)
Girl, keep those spirits sky high, because what you guys are experiencing is INCREDIBLE! I'm so, so happy for ya!
Can't wait to see pictures! I've been gone, so how many days now? 17?

15 days!!!!!!!11