I recently learned that my husband is seriously addicted to herion & cocain. :angry: I guess you can say that I'm ignorant when it comes to the drug life because I've never used or dealt with anyone who used before my husband. To be honest I don't know how to tell if he's using or not. WHen we first got together he told me that he used but it was nothing serious and that he really didn't need it (herion). That's why he's back in now because of his addiction. He finally admitted to me on this bit that he was still using and needed help. I don't know what to do or how to deal with this type of situation. I love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I can't deal with the drug usage. He has promised me to seek help once he's released. Can anyone help me to understand this monster that I'm fighting blindly?

You can ask him to seek help now if there is a program where he is at, YOU can seek help now by going to nar anon meetings. Please go, al-anon, whatever you can find. It's a long hard road and you need to be prepared. There is NEVER< EVER such a thing and "really don't need it" and "nothing serious". I am a former addict and my now ex is still there so I will be here to help you as much as possible as will everyone else here. But please find a meeting, start going on aregular basis.

It often happens that someone goes from merely "using" to "needing" a particular drug--that's the point where it becomes an addiction.

If he does want "help", there are almost certainly meetings and/or treatment resources at the prison. You might want to send him a Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous book. Both organizations also have resources on the net for prisoners, and will happily send him information at no charge--books are priced basically at cost and are very reasonable.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself. There are almost certainly meetings of AlAnon or NarcAnon near you--check the local newspaper for meeting notices or your phone book for a contact number. Don't expect overnight miracles from any "program", but you will find a group of people dealing with the same issues you are, who will be supportive and eager to share ideas on what has helped them. There are no dues or fees, and you will not be required to do or believe anything you do not want to. "Take what you need and leave the rest...."

Good luck to you.

Thanxs for the advice. I have spoken with him and he said that he started na meetings. I'm even trying to find one in my area to attend just to be able to help him out. I even made a contract up with him that if he doesn't seek help once he comes home that we will start divorce proceedings. It may sound cruel, but like I told him I'm here to help him but I'm not going to keep going down this road and keep putting my life on hold because he don't want to seek help.

Dear Randellleah, that's a real toughie. Being a little addicted is like being a little pregnant. It will have to be up to him. The physical and emotional pain of quiting will be his. All that you can do is support him and keep loving him. My husband has been locked up for more than 25 years now and we just found out he's diabetic. This scares me half to death. You know what hell holes prisons are as far as the health of inmates goes. I'm so frightened for him and for me too. If you'd like to contact me directly, it's StockNo97@AOL.com and my name is Elaine. And may you both find the strength you need.

I like that you are gonna attend those NA meetings.....

Alot of times, the root cause of the drug problem is that person is trying to dull the pain that they are carring around in their heart...sometimes they don't even realize this.....they are unhappy with themselves or are seriously hurting from past experiences or both...they just want it to go away....the drugs (sometimes alcohol too) are an outlet or coverup for the pain....

Thats my 2 cents, anyway....

Now, then at some point it becomes an additiction because it effects the neurotransmitters in your body and your body actually starts depending on it......so it can be difficult to treat, that is why there are so many detox centers around...

Well, take care.

Well he finally opened up to me about his addiction after 7 years a few weeks ago. We had a very heart to heart about it and he told me how he got started and that he wanted it to end. He also told me that one of the reasons that kept him going back was he would get into a depression and that was the only way he knew to cope with it. He now trying to learn new ways to deal with it, we have an agreement that if the other starts to feel depressed about anything we have to inform the other and we will deal with it together.

eg52302 half of my family are diabetics and I do know from personal experience that when you're locked up they will make sure that you eat the correct food. it's not the best foods, but they do watch his menu very closely. Have you found out if he's insulin dependent, medicine to control it or are they just going to watch his diet?

You cannot not be addicted to heroin. The only way to start to recover from that drug is the user has to want to stop

When you go to your Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings ask about disconnection. I learned about that tool during my first meeting and it has helped a lot. It isn't cruel to disconnect yourself from the one your love. It actually protects you from your partners negative behaviors. I've been down this very same road. My significant other is addicted to herion and cocaine as well. He was so secretive about the process that I didn't catch on until we moved in together almost a year later. Good luck to you. It isn't an easy road to travel - loving an addict - but if you decide to make that choice always put YOU first.

they have 12-step meetings in prison. He should take advantage of while he is in there. I would also suggest Al-Anon for you. This is a wonderful support group for family members of addicts.