Hi All,

I am in need of some help with a problem that I am involved with and thought what better place to seek some answers, thoughts, opinions from but here.

Here is the scoop.... long but in need of help here.

Ok my ex sister in law received a summons because my brother would like to get his alimony payments lowered. Not the child support but the alimony. He now pays 700.00 a month in alimony and 1200 a month in child support for 2 children. Which leaves him with about 350 a month to live on. Not right!

Well after his ex received the summons she went more insane than she was and after my brother dropped off his son. (which he cannot step on the property he can go as far as the curb.) which he dose. Anyway she came out of the house screaming and yelling at him, I was there so it is not hear say. He always takes someone with him because she always calls the police if he looks at her wrong. Anyway My brother rolled his eyes at her and said we really need to talk about our son's grades they are all going down and something needs to be done to get him back up to the a student that he was. She continues to yell and scream telling him he is a cheap bastard and that he can afford to buy in new girlfriend a engagement ring but wants to lower her alimony (what she does not know is that the diamond came from my Mother it was our grandmothers) she went on and on and would not listen to what he was trying to say about their son. He took a deep breath I saw this and then said "Why do I bother to try to talk to you. You are insane! with that he got into the car and left. We are driving down the main road and the police pull us over and tells my brother that his ex wife called the police because he verbally abused her. She said he puffed his chest out and called her a looser she was in fear that he was going to strike her. My Brother has NEVER touched her in a abusive way. Although she punched him once and gave him a black eye. So My brother told the police his story and and I verified the fact and also told him that he never goes there alone for this reason and that he calls the police a lot for no reason. The police believed us and let us go on our way. A week alter at 11:00 at night my brother doorbells rings and he get served with a summons for an order of protection and he has to go to court. So he went to court and she is there with 3 women from the Battered Womens Services and they are paying for a attorney for her. Mind you she makes closed to 32,000.00 a year in disability (her feet are bad) and child support and alimony she does not work and can afford a attorney of her own. So to me she is abusing the system. What about a woman that really needs these services. Trust me if I thought that my brother did anything to cause her to be a battered women I would not defend him at all. So my question is what can we do ..... she is lying to use these services for make it look better for her and all of this is being down in retaliation for the alimony reduction. I do not know if this makes sense I did the best I can to reiterate what has been going on. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks Chula

Hi Chula,

First of all I think all the people that go with him while dealing with her need to speak in his defense as to what they witnessed. If there is no paper trail in reference to "Domestic Violence" it might be better for him. Have you tried talking to your local Legal Aid Society? They may have some advice. Also contact a different battered women's services center and see what they say. I am sorry I cannot be more helpful. This is a tough one but i feel for you brother. I agree people that make false accusations are taking the services from other needy people. That is very sad. And these people are wasting their (or the taxpayers) money getting involves with this. This is sad. I am praying for your brother.

Frankly, I think I'd head for the domestic abuse agency, if I were him. Talk to them, get their advice, put himself in their hands, too... because he really is getting abused.
Misuse of the abuse laws is a miserable mess, but unfortunately those who do so have no particular conscience to begin with. Narcissism keeps them from feeling that this kind of thing shouldn't be done.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your brother is experiencing this "bad behavior" with his ex. I hope the mother realized that her behavior may be a direct effect on their son's academic/academia (take your pick because I forgot) progress.

Do we realized when we are "bad" in front of our children it affects their behavior? I will keep your brother and his children in my prayers.

I would probably consult/retain a family attorney and an attorney who specializes in fathers's rights in this matter. It better to know your rights
and be prepared to deal with a screaming ex.

It appears he can almost predict her next move because she has revealed so much of her negative behavior. Some of the quiet people are the one to watch because you may never know their next move.

Hi All thank you for your responses. It has been insane for him. I feel so bad that he has to be treated like this. There is no reason for it. Again I want to irritate that he is was a abuser in any way shape for form I would not defend him at all. He is a wonderful caring brother, son Father and best friend. She is mentally ill. I am not being rude she has mental problems. Again I thank you for your advise we are going to be looking into Fathers rights and he did hire an attorney! Keep you posted... xo L