I went to visit my Fiance who is scheduled to come home in less than 90 days yesterday. I was happy to see him and he seemed to be happy to see me. He told me that he was having some problems with his Cellee and that he was running out of hygiene products. I haven't been able to send him any money due to me switching jobs and having to play catch up with my bills. I also wasn't able to put any money on the account to be able to accept his calls so in his eyes he didn't know if I was dead or alive. He was able to call me last week to see why I didn't go to seem him as I was suppose to go but I woke up that morning and just didn't feel like doing anything but laying around the house. Something that I rarely do. Anyway, he talked for 2 hours during our visit about how I needed to step up to the plate in the relationship and was basically telling me all the things I wasn't doing that I needed to be doing as his woman. He finally said you know what I just can't do this anymore. He said we can be friends and there are no hard feelings but he couldn't be with me anymore. At that point I said if that's the way you would like things to be and that will make you happy then that's the way it will be. He said why can't you take my hand and tell me that everything is going to be ok. I told him that I couldn't tell him that because at that point time I didn't feel as if everything was going to be ok. The next thing I know he was raising his voice talking about how he has my name tatooed on his arm and how he felt like punching me in my face and breaking my glasses. I couldn't believe my ears. He jumped up and got close to my face and starting cussing and pointing his fingers on my forehead as he continued to cuss. Then he hit me so that my glasses went into my eye. The didn't break but he did hit me hard enough for my eyeball to hurt and cause me to have a headache. We were right in front of a camera. No one came to my rescue. The couple and their kids that were sitting at the table beside us saw the whole thing and when I asked the woman to call someone. She just looked at me like I was speaking a different language. I got up as fast as I could and left the visiting area. As I was leaving, I could hear him say F*&^ you as he went to the back to get shaked down. He has been locked up for three years and I have visited him and taken care of him from day one and this is what I get in returned. I am just so thankful that it happened when it did because we were scheduled to be married a week after his release in August. I asked God for a sign maybe about 6 months ago and he gave me my answer yesterday. Please don't ignore the signs.

Where do I go from here? I was in such a shock from what happened yesterday that I lef the facility without talking to anyone. I don't just want to let it go since he is going home soon. I want to let him know that what he didn't was unacceptable. Please help me out.

Wow! I can't even believe that. If he doesn't have self control in the visiting room, can you imagine what he will be like at home? I wish you would get as far away from him as possible. I can't even believe the cops didn't do anything about this?! God, if we kiss two times they have a fit! I truly wish you all the luck in the world. You sound like a smart girl. Just get away from this guy. he is deadly.

One officer was on the outside where we were sitting but she couldnt see anything because he blocked her view by standing in front of me. It did seem like she should have said you need to sit down or something. I will not be in contact with him at all. His home plan has already been set-up but the counsler has not called to verify the information that he gave me. When I receive the call I will let the person know that he can not come to my house. He is located in a VA facility and applied for an interstate compound to come to NC with me. Without my ok he can not come here. I will be changing my phone numbers so that he can not call and sending his mail back return to sender if that starts.

Good for you! You're even smarter than I thought at first. You will look back one day and be SO glad you did this. Your life will begin once that guy is out of your life. What a jerk! He could have blinded you or cut your eye or anything. This makes me SOOOO mad

how crazy is this??? you are in a prison and he got away with asaulting you?! in a visiting area?! you know i believe you because of the things that have happened to me in my life, and people got away with it. you poor baby you! i admire your taking action to protect yourself, but oh, God, do i know what it's like to give someone your all, amnd have them say "F...U", it's like having your heart torn right out of you. i hope you realize this does not define you, who you are, by his selfish ugly words. girl, you are a BEAUTIFUL person, do not believe this man's words. now, what are you going to do to work your way thru this pain? i'm available to pm me anytime if you need to vent. or cry,i'll even give u my phone number if you have to talk. people here have done it for me, and i will gladly do the same for you. ok? chin up, girl! we gonna get you thru this! love ya! wendi

well God does do things so we know and understand if thats what we want. But he is A person to stay away from and never look back at . Let his conslor now what happend, So he gets whats comming to him.

I'm glad you've had such a clear signal that you can get up and walk away for good! I'd contact his counselor right away, so you can get out of this cleanly and quickly and not have it blindside you later. Get your info out of his file, so there's no question later.
Feel free to stop in at a domestic abuse center in your area. . . there are probably clues you hadn't taken seriously until now, clues that will keep you from having to deal with this again in another man.
Hugs!

Ask and you shall receive.

Nimuay is right. Don't wait for them to contact you. They might not do it. Contact them and change those plans today. So many ignore the warning signs because they are blinded by love and you aren't doing that.

You asked what your next step was ... in the right direction ... onward and upward! Good luck to you!

I am astounded that the man you take time out of your life, to travel to see and bring some sense of relief and consolation to can turn it around and assault you and belittle you. I am ashamed to think that someone could treat someone who obviously cares a great deal about them, like they did not matter. As far as the guards not seeing, I am not surprised. I saw men standing behind their wives and or girlfriends in the smoking section of visitation having sex while others blocked them, so again I am not surprised.
I am glad you chose to leave him behind, but I urge you to contact his Counselor and his PO to ensure they know the situation and even as far as obtaining a restraining order to prevent any future risks.
The fact is that he is obviously not thinking rationally, and for him to take the risk of assaulting you in Prison in front of witnesses with only 90 days left, this shows his inability to rationalize the risk of furthering his incarceration, as well as realizing the harm he is causing you both physically and emotionally.
I don't know the history the two of you share, but no one deserves abuse. I can only recommend ensuring your safety and moving on to a more healthy relationship one with out the trauma and the drama. One in which you do not have to worry about what will happen next. One in which the person you are with appreciates you for who you are and not what you do for them.
I wish you the very best and pray for a future with happier times.

Tim

OMG that is apsolutly crazy!! :eek: I cant belive that.... he got away with that??? wow!!! girl i am glad you got your sign, I am glad you got it now instead of him coming home and doing that!
I am so proud of you, returning his mail and not accepting his phone calls you need to move on!!!!
goodluck!!! :thumbsup:

Sorry this happened to you but be glad it happened in somewhat of a controlled atmosphere where he didn't take it any further. Its sad that the couple next to you didn't help you but they probably thought they would lose their visit or become involved in a domestic situation. Never forget what he did to you and don't brush it off so he thinks he can do it again. Good luck. sokie

Thanks for your support and advice. I will give the facility a call tomorrow to find out who his counselor is and let her know that he will not be able to come to my home. I am starting a new job in another state on Monday so I will no longer be in the same location and hard to locate. Again, thanks for your support.

sorry this happened to you and i applaud you for standing up for yourself.he was wrong for what he did.you hold your head up and keep moving forward.this is a hard journey and our men can be so insensitive to our struggles to maintain.since he did that i would have left his azz in there too.

I know I'm late in replying but I had to add my voice to the chorus of support for your decision to take his outrageous behavior as your cue to walk away.
I would suggest that you contact the prison and request that he not be permitted to contact you by phone or mail and if you have no one else who calls you from a prison, have correctional calls blocked from your phone... it will spare you having to refuse each call.
Best of luck to you, m'dear!

I am so proud of you. You are absolutely doing the right thing.

The thing that gets me is that they know how to monitor if a person is hugging or kisses too much. But, they don't monitor when it really counts, when someone is assualted right in front of their view. This is just ridiculous. I'm glad that you are okay. I would still report it to the administration at the facility. Last, thank God that you found out how he really is before he was released. This incident has been a blessing to you, because it will save you a life time of hurt, harm and danger. Be Blessed and keep your head up!

Oh Sweetie Stay far away from this guy and never look back. I am sure he will start with the I am so sorry crap but don't listen!!!


I saw men standing behind their wives and or girlfriends in the smoking section of visitation having sex while others blocked them, so again I am not surprised.


That is just trashy and tacky!!! Some people have no class!!! Do they really think others that go there to visit their loved ones wants to be exposed to that?

I am in shock that he got away with that. Where my friend is..thier are 2 or more c/os. They are always moving around. I am glad that you are moving on with out this jerk. Just becare!

This guy is one nerve shy of a synapse........ Yikes, good for you! Kick his ass to the curb for GOOD. What the hell, has he learned nothing? He must like it in there..............

I'm just seeing this and am replying late too, but that's very good that you are separating yourself from this idiot!! Good for you! Stick to it! God will give us just what we ask for and you asked for a sign and you got it!;) It's somewhat unfortunate for you that you had to find out this way, but it's good that you did before you married the fool. If he will assault you in prison, then he has no regard for anything or anybody. All wild animals, should continue to remain in cages, so they won't harm those around them or return to their element and it's apparent that you are out of his element.

skips butterfly: I'm am sooooo very proud of you!!! Be very proud of yourself. You asked God for an answer and He gave it to you. God is good and will speak to us to protect us. Stick to your guns and be strong! You, my lady, deserve sooooooo much better than that!!

hey, all i can say is be thankful that you know about it now, you have the chance to leave him, beacuse let me tell you, i was with a man for 7 years and he emotionally and physically abused me for most of those years, and all i can say is once a hitter, always a hitter, by best advice is to get away while you can Before it get real bad, an believe it will!!!! all it can do is get worse, it will never get better.

Has he tried to contact you since you posted this? I know he probably has. But thank goodness you have the good sense to get out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good for you that you've walked away from this creep!!:eek: What the???You've had a lucky escape, it's unbelievable that he'd attack you in a prison, it just shows how out of control he can get...what a bully and an animal, actually animals behave better...good luck with ur future life without him..:thumbsup:

I was in an extreme situation so some of these suggestions might seem a little out there but for me they were necessary because my ex told everyone including the cops and the judge that sentenced him for attempted murder (me) that when he got out he was going to finish what he started to do.

I have moved to a different state had my mail fwd to a mailbox store. I use another persons name on my utilities (with their permission) and my utilities are also password protected. I don't have a home phone - I only use a cell phone and have just recently gotten an account - I was using prepaid. For 2 years after I moved my family did not have my address - the only contact we had was by phone. The most important thing in this type of situation is to avoid all contact - don't read his letters-send them back or odds are that you will get sucked back in. Statistically abused women go back 7 times before they finally get away. I went back once even after my abuser almost killed me - it's difficult to break that cycle.

Oh no no no no no no no no no!!!!! Stories like this piss me off. I have to spend 10 minutes letting guards inspect the little charm on my necklace to make sure it doesn't open with anything hidden inside, but they can't save you from having him go upside your head. Let me just say I know I am reading this months late, but I seriously hope you stick to your guns and I give you major kudos for not taking his foolishness. GOOD JOB!

Im so sorry that happened to you!!! If a man is bold enough to hit you in a public place than just imagine what he will do at home

hi i know how it feels to be in a domsetic relationship i been with my husband for 12 yrs hes been in prison federal for 7 yrs now he s beaten me so bad when he was out so many times and every time hed say he was sorry afterwards and it woudnt happen again but it always did i never called the cops or nothing and i probably should of.. well i stood by him all this time hes been locked up well about a month ago he gotmad at me cause i didnt have any extra money to ssend him and he said it was over he hasnt called or written since then. so i guess it must be to me its a relief cause we did argue alot while he been in prison now i know in my heart that he was just using me to take-care of him everytime he was in jail or prison..... and its probably best this way for us i had enough of his abusive ways both mentally and physcially so to me its a relief i just hope he doesnt call or write he does i wont except his call hes due to get out in december of this year... i know i need to file for a divorce and have it taken care of before he gets out... i know my heart will heal in time..... cause to be honest i am kind of scared of what he might do if he gets out.....
thanks for listening.......
*e-mail removed per policy. please pm this member." penny......

I just wanted to say "hi" sparkys. sokie

I hope all is well with her...

makes me wonder if she left him completley or did she let him come back!

Her last post was in July, and it was about when parole would be calling to verify his plans. . . ah well...