Not sure where I read it on PTO but it was "you know when youre involved with an inmate when..." I wanted to send it all to my man and now I cant find it ...if anyone see's it pm me please !!!

I think this is the post you are looking for!!

You know you are the wife/girlfriend of an inmate if.... (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114429&highlight=wife+inmate)


YOU MIGHT BE THE WIFE/GIRLFRIEND OF AN INMATE……


-IF YOU HAVE A $400 PHONE BILL ~~ AND YOU’RE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR CUTTING BACK.
-IF YOU ALWAYS CHECK NEW CLOTHES FOR TOO MUCH METAL BEFORE PURCHASE.
-IF YOU’VE CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT PHONE SEX.
-IF YOUR NEW PURSE IS SOFT PLASTIC, SEE THROUGH AND YOU CARRY ONLY ROLLS OF QUARTERS AND ONE DOLLAR BILLS AND ONE KEY TO YOUR CAR.
-IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, ANYTHING, ON THE INTERNET AND PRINT IT OUT TO SEND TO HIM.
-IF YOU’RE CAUGHT OFF GUARD WHEN YOU ANSWER THE PHONE AND IT’S AN ACTUAL PERSON AND NOT A RECORDING SAYING, “YOU HAVE A COLLECT CALL”
-IF YOU PUT YOUR PHONE UP TO THE STEREO SO HE CAN LISTEN TO HIS FAVORITE CD.
-IF YOU HAVE A CHEAP LINE FORWARDED TO YOUR HOME NUMBER AND YOUR HOME NUMBER FORWARDED TO YOUR CELL, SO YOU DON’T MISS A CALL.
-IF YOU PUT ENOUGH MILES ON YOUR CAR TO HAVE DRIVEN TO CHINA AND BACK.
-IF THE BOP (OR THE DOC) RECOGNIZES YOUR VOICE INSTANTLY AND “ACCIDENTLY” HANGS UP WHEN YOU CALL.
-IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE REALLY DONE SOMETHING IF YOU MANAGE TO SNEAK IN AN EXTRA KISS.
-IF YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT HOLDING HANDS REALLY DOES MEAN SOMETHING.
-IF YOU STRANGELY TAKE PRIDE IN SAYING, “UM…..I WOULDN’T DO THAT MY HUSBAND IS IN A MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON AND HE WILL BE OUT SOME DAY.
-IF YOU’VE SEPERATED YOUR CLOTHES INTO TWO CATEGORIES, PRISONWEAR AND NOT ACCEPTABLE.
-IF YOU TURN DOWN YOUR GIRLFRIENDS FOR A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN, SO YOU CAN STAY HOME AND GET A CALL FROM YOUR HUNNY.
-IF YOUR BEST FRIEND IS THROWING AN “ADULT TOY PARTY” AND INVITES YOU. BUT WHEN YOU GET THERE SHE INTRODUCES YOU AS THE GIRL WHO’S HUNNY IS IN PRISON FOR YEARSSSSSS AND EVERYONE GIVES YOU THE “POOR SEXUALLY DEPRIVED GIRL” LOOK.
-IF YOU CAN’T REMEMBER HOW NICE YOUR MAN’S BUTT LOOKED IN THAT TIGHT PAIR OF WRANGLERS, BUT YOU DO START THINKING HE DOSEN’T LOOK TOO BAD AFTER ALL IN KHAKI, WHITE OR BLAZE ORANGE.
-IF YOUR CLOSEST GIRLFRIENDS ALL HAVE USER NAMES AND EMAIL ADDRESSES.
-IF THE LETTERS "DOC" NO LONGER MEAN PHYSICIAN.
-IF ALL THE PICTURES IN YOUR PHOTO ALBUM ARE POLAROIDS AND HE IS WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES IN EACH SHOT.
-IF YOU ARE READY TO CUSS OUT ANYBODY THAT CALLS AND SHOWS UP ON THE CALLER ID AS “UNKNOWN” LIKE YOUR HUSBANDS DO.
-IF YOU HAVE ADDED A THIRD CATEGORY TO YOUR CLOTHING…GOOD ENOUGH TO GET IN THE GATE, BUT MAYBE THERE IS A SLIGHT HOPE FOR BEING ABLE TO DO A “LITTLE” SOMETHING MORE FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS.
-IF YOU GO THROUGH THE AIRPORT SECURITY AND IT FEELS STRANGE WHEN YOU AREN'T STRIP SEARCHED.
-IF A FOUR HOUR TRIP IS A TYPICAL WEEKEND DRIVE.
-IF YOU OWN ENOUGH STATIONARY AND STAMPS TO KEEP THE POST OFFICE RUNNING SIMPLY OFF OF YOUR MAIL.
-IF YOU OWN MORE GLITTER PENS THAN A 10 YEAR OLD GIRL.
-IF YOUR HOUSE HAS TONS OF PICTURES EVERYWHERE AND THEY ARE ALL POLAROIDS.
-IF YOU HAVE TO BLAME YOURSELF FOR THE MISSING TOOTHPASTE CAP.
-IF YOU FIND YOURSELF TRYING TO IMITATE THE CAR’S WEIRD NOISE TO A PERFECT STRANGER AT THE AUTO SHOP, WHO SCRATCHES HIS HEAD IN PUZZLEMENT.
-IF YOU TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO SATISFACTION IN THE REALIZATION THAT WE WOMEN CAN TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES.
-IF YOU’VE CONSIDERED DESIGNING A LINE OF CLOTHING WITH VELCRO IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES FOR EASY ACCESS.
-IF YOU’VE REMOVED THE UNDERWIRE FROM YOUR BRAS SO YOU CAN PASS THE METAL DETECTOR.
-IF YOU HAVE THE DOC’S WEBSITE AS YOUR HOME PAGE ON YOUR COMPUTER.
-IF THE PHRASE "GET A LIFE" HAS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT MEANING TO YOU.
-IF YOUR HUSBAND'S (OR BOYFRIEND'S) "ROOMMATES" ALL HAVE INTERESTING NICKNAMES.
-IF YOUR INNER TIME CLOCK IS SET FOR 15 MINUTE CONVERSATIONS.
-IF YOU WISH YOU WERE NOT PART OF THE "IN" CROWD.
-IF YOUR HUSBAND'S LAST NAME IS A NUMBER WHEN YOU ADDRESS HIS LETTERS.
-IF YOU DREAD YOUR PHONE BILL LIKE MOST PEOPLE DREAD THEIR LIGHT BILLS.
-IF TO YOU, FINE DINING, IS A BOTTLE OF POP, VENDING MACHINE BURGERS, CHIPS, AND OF COURSE A KIT KAT FOR DESSERT.
-IF YOU TRY TALKING ABOUT COMPUTERS, SUPER KMART/WALMART, PLAYSTATION, OR SURROND SOUND AND YOUR HUBBY LOOKS AT LIKE YOU’RE FROM OUTER SPACE.
-IF YOU HAVE BECOME A MESSENGER SERVICE TO ALL HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
-IF YOU HAVE BECOME AN AUTHOR OF EROTIC FICTION WHEN WRITING TO HIM.
-IF YOU THINK IT’S NORMAL FOR HIS FRIENDS TO HAVE NAMES LIKE; TRIGGER, SHOOTER, SPANKY, BUCKSHOT, DIABLO, DROOPY, NUTCASE, ECT.
-IF WHEN YOU GO FOR YOUR WEEKLY VISIT, THE GUARD THAT SEARCHS YOU SAYS, “IS THAT NEW PERFUME?”
-IF YOU CAN STIMULATE THE HUMAN HAND IN 100 DIFFERENT WAYS ‘CAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY PART OF YOUR MAN YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HOLD.
-IF YOUR MAN WRITES YOU AN X-RATED LETTER, THEN A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER, ASKS YOU TO SEND IT BACK TO HIM SO HE CAN SLEEP WITH IT.
-IF YOU STALK THE MAILMAN.
-IF YOUR PHONE BILL NOW COSTS MORE THEN YOUR GROCERY BILL EACH MONTH FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
-IF EVERYTIME YOU COME TO A DOOR YOU WAIT TO BE “BUZZED” IN.
-IF YOU THINK IT’S WEIRD THAT OTHER PEOPLE’S “FAMILY PICTURES” DON’T HAVE A “SEA-LIFE”, “WILDERNESS”, OR “WATERFALL”, ETC. BACKGROUND.
-IF WHEN YOU WANT TO KILL THE POSTMAN FOR NOT HAVING A LETTER FOR YOU FROM A “CORRECTIONAL FACILITY”
-IF IN A JOB INTERVIEW, WHEN ASKED WHAT YOUR HUSBAND DOES FOR A LIVING, YOU SAY HE IS CURRENTLY SELF-EMPLOYED, OR HE WORKS FOR THE STATE.
-IF YOU SPRAY YOUR HUSBANDS T-SHIRTS WITH HIS COLOGNE EVERY NIGHT AND SLEEP WITH THEM.
-IF YOU FIND THIS WHOLE STRING OF POSTS THE FUNNIEST THING YOU HAVE SEEN IN A WHILE!