He walked out on me last night. Not for good, but i've had enough and I wasn't there when he came back. He broke all the promises he made me in the months he was away, one week and half a day after he got home. He can't give me the love i deserve. or he chooses not to. Either way, it's not good enough. And it hurts, and I miss hom like crazy already, and I'm so angry and frustrated with myself for wasting so much time, money, and energy.

I'm sorry to hear things have gone so wrong.
He's only been home a week and he's broken all his promises already? I cannot believe some of these men, they have a loving wife/girlfriend by their side, they remain faithful,keep the home and relationship going and and for what? So they can come home and f*** up again?
You said he's not gone for good, does that mean you know he'll come back, or has he said he'll be back once he has sorted himself out?

Either way, you need some time out for you.Take good care of yourself.

Sorry to hear that, Amanda. Seems not that long ago that you had your countdown going.

I used to share rides with a girl whose boyfriend was also at Beechworth. I just heard from her this weekend - it's over for them too. Ends up she's living with a girl whose boyfriend was ALSO at Beechworth, whose relationship is ALSO over. Their boyfriends hooked up after they got out, so that's how the girls knew each other.

I went over to see them for a quick visit. The other girl had said something about "87% of relationships fail within the first year of them getting out". I'm not sure where she pulled that figure from, but it had my mind working overtime.

They realised they were scaring the crap out of me, so they set me up for what to expect: Don't expect that anything has changed. Don't expect any kind of gratitude for what you went through. Don't expect their effort on the outside will meet what yours was on the inside.

Lovely. I guess, in part, that's why I wrote that RESPECT bit in the letter to him.

Again, Amanda - I feel terribly for you. But I will leave you with another thing those girls said. They both agree that they had to do the time, and now that it's done, they know they're doing the right thing. They don't regret it, because they would have always wondered what would have happened if they didn't.

Feel better, sweets. :grouphug:

Oh Amanda, I am so sorry to hear this. You know that we are here for you. Take care sweetie.

Oh sweetie what a huge disappointment! I doubt I'm alone in shedding a few tears for you. It certainly sounds like he doesn't deserve such an amazing, strong and intelligent girl like you. And please don't get angry with yourself - you couldn't have known he would end up like this, and at least you can say to yourself and others that his behaviour certainly wasn't due to a lack of support from you! I think many of us have had the experience of giving our all to what turns out to be the wrong person, but hey, you never know until you try, and we learn valuable lessons from it. Shame they're so damn expensive sometimes! Ah well, some people spend thousands of dollars on self-development workshops & don't end up really learning the important things...

Stay strong, sista girl! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

(( Niece)) Amanda, I too, am sitting here with tears for you. I have to say that JD has summed it up in her post, and all the others have good points as well. I can't believe that he has been so inconsiderate after all that you have done for him. Im glad you had the courage to leave before he got home. You might have made him think about his actions, but I think he is just being very selfish. Maybe he needs to grow up a little.Sometimes I get really worried about what will happen when my hubby comes home. We all have these hopes, dreams, plans etc, and then when they come home,everything seems to change. Its a different story when we are putting our lives on hold, going week after week to visit, going without money so they can have extra and all the other numerous sacrifices we go through. It seems they come home, and forget everything. That is so scary.It would be easy to say forget him, but you obviously love him a lot to have stuck by him in the first place,and to do his jail with him. You do deserve someone who can show you the love you are worthy of.I hope things work out for you, what ever you decide, hun.
You know that we are all here for you if we can be any help. Feel free to PM me anytime.
Stay strong for you, hun.

Hugz Aunty Roz

Amanda, I'm so sorry this has happened. I hope you guys can work things out, or by the sounds of it, he can work his stuff out and come to his senses. I can't imagine what you must be going through. We are all here for you darl. All the best.

Amanda, I feel for you just like everyone else. I've got to hand it to you girl for having the strength to walk. After all you've done for him and all the time you waited he doesn't deserve you. I know it hurts like hell but you need to do what's right for you and it sounds as though you've done just that.

If you need to vent you know where to come. We are all here for you.

[Sending you hugs].

Wys

Hey Amanda, as you see we are hear for you. thoughts are with you.

you got PTO fam and we got alot.since i have joined this site i have been able to sort through things. we are here for you and should you need to talk i am here for you.

Turns out he lied to me for the duration of our relationship. Like I might have mentioned, i arranged a car for him so he can get to and from work etc etc... I find out YESTERDAY that he has never had a licence. Ever. In all his 28 years... which is fine, BUT TELL ME BEFORE I GET YOU A CAR!!!! I give him ample notice. I did not spring it on him... now he had a car to pay for adn no licence to drive it. AND he's been driving MY car for as long as we've been together.

AND he was caught. AND he was drunk when he was caught. This baffles me. What was going through his head when he got in that car?

Amanda, I had a boyfriend who had his licence suspended and failed to tell me about it too. Until one day when I found the fines in some of his paper work that he had left in my car. You can imagine how I was feeling when I found out. He certainly never drove my car again.

How did you find out that he had no licence?? And was this what he was in for?

Amanda, I know this is probably cold comfort but, despite the fact you waited for him and did so much for him, it's probably a good thing you found out so soon after he got out that things weren't going to work for you. I think you've had a lucky escape hon. As painful as it is right now, I think you are well rid of him and good on you for having the strength to get out now rather than go through more heart ache.

AND he was caught. AND he was drunk when he was caught. This baffles me. What was going through his head when he got in that car?
Hmmm... 28yrs old male... drunk... ummm.... not a lot?

Sounds like you might like to tell him to come see you when he's all growed up!

Everyone has disagreements... He mighr have walked out just to cool off B-cause he didn't want to do or say anything that he would regret. Go back and listen you owe the both of you that much b-cause you said yourself you have alot of time and energy invested in that. So pray about it and go back and talk it out...

I don't care that he walked out to cool off. I don't like that he lied to me for the full 8 months he was away. THAT's why I'm gone. I don't like that he lied to me for 18 months that he had no licence ( nor has he EVER had one). This is not what he was in for. And it's not the liccence that's bothering me, it's the lies. What sort of relationship isn't honest. I'm not putting up with dishonesty, sneakiness and taking advantage.

Thanks for your support, most of you guys.

I know that nothing anyone says will make his better for you , your hurting and thats normal no one ever wants to believe or find out that they have been lied too, it really is in some ways the ultimate betrayal especially after being faithifull and supportive for so long,
I really wish i could say something to make this better, i can only imagine myself in your position and imagine how i would feel.
I would be shattered, but know this that you have made it this far and you can make it even further.
I truely only wish the best for you.
Hugs Katy

Amanda I am so sorry. I was only thinking of you the other day. Wondering how it is all going. I could never have thought things had turned out like this for you. I am sorry. You are one hell of a strong woman to know its time to walk and not put up with his crap. Good on you. You have been through a lot in the last few months and for him to do this to you, well its a kick in the teeth. I agree its not a major thing. But to me lying is like having an affair. I loath lying. Once again hun I am so sorry for everything that you are going through right now. Take care of yourself.

All men are not created equal Please girls dont give up on you guys inside as they all need thier chances to prove themselves to you when they get out.
I do know where amanda is coming from as I lived with someone for 18 months that could not tell the difference between lies and the truth. Honesty is one of the major things a relationship is built on and if it is not there the whole thing will tumble down. It may be better to walk away as it is hard to trust someone once you have been lied to. You start to wonder about everything else that has been said by that person whether or not any of it was true. my ex partner that I told you about even swore on her daughters life she was telling the truth about something that I had proof in my hand that she was lying. So some people will stoop to anything to make you believe them.

Just remember that there are honest loving people out there but allways be aware of the others.

Hope it all works out for the best for you either with him (if he grows up) or without.

Take care

Novo