When my husband goes to court and they find him guilty what will happen to him when he goes to prison? Will he have problems with the other inmates because of the domestic violence charges that put him in there? I haven't really dealt with anyone going to prison, only watched TV shows and such so I am niave about how they are treated. If its really rough on them or if there are alot of others in there for the same charges. I'm just wondering if he is going to run into hard times and would appreciate any info on it. Thanks, sokie

I guess no one here knows either :-) I guess living with him and being treated the way I was has effected my mind because I wanted to hear that he would learn fear as I did. I hope I didn't offend anyone and I don't get removed from this site. sokie

First of all, let me welcome you to PTO. I'm sorry you have had to go through this. I, personally have never dealt with DV. I do know that in prison they do not look kindly on people who hurt women or children. If somehow men with him find out his charges then he may find some who will give him a hard time. He certainly deserves it for treating you that way. And I hope that for your safety and your sanity you are smart enough to stay away from him. You derserve so much better!

I know child molesters, child killers and child abusers get it the worst. But sokie I have a question for you. Why the heck do you care? Maybe you don't and are just asking a question but honestly my exdude was never in jail for violence against me but i wish they would have thrown his butt under the jail. He probably won't get treated that badly. My ex brother in law was in jail for DV and he was fine. Not that you should wish ill upon but i hope he can just get a slight taste of what he did to you and possibly your unborn child. Forgive me if i am wrong for this but i hope your heart is not softening. I know at times it can be hard, but trust...whatever good or bad happens to him he put himself into that when he laid hands upon you.

Lots of guys are in for beating their significant others. They're not targeted the way child abusers are...

my ex is currently doing time for DV against his still present wife and he is due home the end of the month and he had no problems what so ever

I have personally not dealt with DV with my man, but regardless of your man's charges, prison is not a playground, I have been dealing with the system for many years now. And he will get roughed up a little till he gets the hang of things, that's just my opinion.

Thanks for the replys. To answer your question lovinkiah, no I haven't softened. I asked the question because maybe I was wanting to hear that it will be hard on him. I know it isn't right to wish badness on anyone-friend or enemy-but I had no way to fight back because of the fear he caused me and the size he is. I just wanted to hear that he was going to learn fear like I did not matter how wrong it is. I hope the Lord forgives me for my thoughts and someday I really don't give a damn either way :-(

Thanks for the replys. To answer your question lovinkiah, no I haven't softened. I asked the question because maybe I was wanting to hear that it will be hard on him. I know it isn't right to wish badness on anyone-friend or enemy-but I had no way to fight back because of the fear he caused me and the size he is. I just wanted to hear that he was going to learn fear like I did not matter how wrong it is. I hope the Lord forgives me for my thoughts and someday I really don't give a damn either way :-(

I hear you Sokie! And i am glad it isn't your heart softening. Let me tell you something. My exdude (this is the Baby's sperm donor that is my ex batterer that i am talking about) got cut in jail this last go round and on top of that now, he is still living in a shelter, cannot find suitable work or nothing. As for me, THANK YOU JESUS, cause i am still here, i have a nice 2 bedroom apartment, have a great job that i actually like:eek: and i am in a relationship where i am happy loved and so is the baby (well she's 4 now, but will always be my baby). I am in a great town with people who love and look out for me, so i am blessed. So in other words, he is still paying the piper, i believe for what he did to me and cause he is really evil to others (like his mother and sister) as well. I am not looking for revenge and through God i ...forgive him...but he is still suffering years after the abuse ended. I believe the same may be true for your ex man. But even if nothing ever happens to him in jail and he comes home and seems to be living carefree, never forget this is a bigger entity that he has to answer to and that will never be forgotten and handled accordingly. So i believe in my heart your batterer as well as everyone else's will pay in the long run whether they pay in jail or not.

I saw what you wrote yesterday lovin but logged out to go think about it. I did give it some serious thought and decided you are right. I'm not going to try to focus on whats happening with him because I believe that sometimes karma comes into to play- and that old saying that says something about you get what you give. So I'm going to try to move on and quit letting him STILL control my thoughts and actions. I'll never forget what happened between him and I but I will use it as a lesson so it doesn't happen to me again. I don't like this bitterness inside me that I feel towards him but I'll never trust or have contact with him again. I just have to get past this point in my life where I feel so much hate..

It doesn't matter how long he gets, it doesn't matter what happens to him while he's in.
Don't worry about the hating right now. That is only the first step in recovering. There are stages, much like grieving, and he poured that hate into you with a vengeance. It will take a while to get through the hating, but fortunately, you can acknowledge that it's there, and then pass on. Don't linger over it, chew on it too long. Just find something else to do/think, and it will pass. Think loving thoughts to your baby, to your mom and dad, to all those who went down this road before you and spoke up and gathered information so that you can be healthy again.
Let the sun of your love outshine the tiny candle of his hate.