I haven't written my cousin since I was little. He's been there since 1998. He was sentenced to life w/o parole. I was there when he got arrested. I'm now 23 and want to get back to having contact with him. He use to call and just ask about my day and tell me how good it felt just to talk. I don't think many of my family really writes him anymore.

He has always been in my thoughts and I want him to know that. Even the area of study I went in to for College was because of him.

I need help in I don't know what to say in my first letter. How do I just start writing after so long? What do I say? Any help from someone who's been there?

I just don't have anyone who seems to understand me, especially my family...

Just write and tell him how you feel, let him know you love him and miss him, and you are sorry its been so long since you have talked, tell him you want to start talking again. Let him know all the great things you have accomplished in your life. I am sure everything will be ok! I know he would love hearing from you! It will cheer him up! and bring a smile to his face! Good luck! and dont be upset about it, it will turn out ok!

He'll be thrilled to hear from you. You could send a simple greeting card, but if I were you, I'd write a long letter so he has more to respond to. Just start by saying you'd like to keep in touch. Then, give him an update on your life or talk about family news. Imbed questions. You can tell him about a hobby or skill you've developed. Maybe that will prompt him to say he's taken up drawing or some other hobby available in his prison. Keep the letters positive and encouraging.

Thank you both!! I think this weekend I'm gonna take a little time to sit down and just right it. There's just so much I want to tell him I think I just need to get it on paper! Did you ever worry about if your loved one would write back? Is that selfish?

Hi, I am a 25 fem. My father has been in and out of prison since 1992. I didnt have contact with him untill last year. We have been writing ever since. Tell him everything on your mind. Dont hold back in order to deal with the issues surrounding your situation and also for you and your cousins mental well being! Do not loose faith in him! Prepare yourself for his return and also tell him to try and prepare himself for his return to the outside world. You are not alone!~ Chatham24

If he doesn't get mail from any other family member trust me he will appreciate your mail. Just write about anything and everything trust me you'll amaze yourself once you pick up that pen.

Well, I sat down and wrote it. And you guys are right. Once I started it just flowed. I sent it yesterday so now is the time to just sit back and wait to hear back. Thanks for the support! I don't think I would have every sat down to write it if it wasn't for PTO and the people on here!

I'm proud of you. You took the first step, which is always the hardest.
He'll write back to you. Have faith

Thank you boandmelissa :) Faith doesn't always come easy with me but that's all I have to ride on.

Just wanted to share that I got my first letter from him today!!! It made me so happy just to hear he is ok. He said he was so happy to hear from me and wants to hear all about what I've been up to! Just wanted to share a happy story!

Thanks for the update; it's nice to hear happy things.

As a former inmate, I think what matters most is that you communicate. Now, I know that you are concerned about what to actually say, I mean, some things could be sensitive to him, and some things might not have value to him.

What do I mean by that? Well, talking about the music on your ipod (if you have one) might sound interesting, but if he has been in prison for awhile, that item might as well be a product from another planet. Sure he has heard of it, but in prison it has no value.

If you want to reestablish communication, then first off, don't be afraid to talk to him. With a lot of time passed, there is certainly a lot to talk about, but before you do, you may need to get a temperature.

The mindset of an inmate can be a very vague thing, because what we see and believe is strongly encouraged not by what is outside the prison, but what is within. And with so much time having passed, you are going to have to kinda figure out where to start.

To me, it might be best to reintroduce yourself to him. Let him know that you would like to hear from him and see how he is doing. No need to send a 20 page book just yet; you can always do that later.

Give him time to respond and in the meanwhile, try to find other posts or places where you can learn more about what inmates think...trust me, it is important.

For inmates, mail is one of the highlights of the day, we would all crowd around the officer, hoping someone remembered us. So if you write to him, trust me, it will likely be greatly appreciated.

I encourage you, when you write, be encouraging and positive. You don't have to paint rainbows and happy unicorns, but remember that he is in one of the most negative environments in the country...prison. Lots of times inmates lean heavily on a good or positive word from a person outside; it can make their week.

I wish you well on whatever you write to him, trust me, whatever you say will be fine.

I completely understand you, Im sorta in the same situation myself! My FAVORITE cousin went in when we were 17, and he is in for Life without Parole too. Now we are both 26. I used to write him alot, and then I started my own family, I got married, had a new baby, and soon had no time to write anymore. I never go a day without thinking about him, he is ALWAYS in my thoughts. I will be writing him tomorrow, telling him how sorry I am for not writing him, and catching him up on my life from where we left off! I talked to his mom a little bit ago and she suggested I send him some pics of me and my 3 kiddos!

Maybe when writing to him, start off by explaining why you haven't wrote, be honest, and then tell him what you have been doing and the little things that he may want to know. Anyways, Good Luck!

The big thing to remember is that many of our people are forgotten by their friends, the very ones that promised to remember them from the get go. Out of sight-out of mind is the truth as far as it goes in these cases.
A letter, a card goes a long way.
My nephew was my heart. He took a fall and is doing 18-life. The shooter is walking the streets and has forgotten the boy that lived by the code of the streets, the one who didn't give up his name. He appreciates everything you send him and every call you take.
A little means alot to our people inside.