Just thought I'd ask people if they would like to share instances they have been aware of where they, or someone else, got turned away on visitation day so we can all keep a "heads up".

On Saturday, I was heading north an hour to visit a friend here in NC that I try to see every week. Halfway to the prison, I realized the sweater I had on was sleeveless, so had to stop at Belk (department store) en route and buy a shirt with sleeves! Once I got there, I asked the guard if I would have been turned away. He asked his lieutenant, so said probably not, since it didn't have "spaghetti straps", but it all depends on who is working the visitation desk that day! He advised if I ever wear something sleeveless, to have a backup shirt in the car. I thought it was odd that whoever working the desk on any given day has discetion over what's appropriate, and there wasn't any "code".....

Yeah, I've seen many people get turned away at Billy's prison. Mostly because they are wearing the same colors as the inmates. Some have been in short skirts and shorts. They aren't allowed either. I always wear something that I know will pass. I don't like to hold up the line and I can't stand it when someone in front of me does. (who's passing thru the metal detector) ARGH!!

NOW THAT RON IS IN MINIMUM I HAVE NOT HAD OR SEEN ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM-BUT WHEN HE WAS IN MEDIUM-WEEKLY SOMEONE GOT TURNED AWAY- ONE TIME THEY TRIED TO TURN ME AWAY SAYING MY PANTS WERE TOO TIGHT-I HAD WORN THOSE SAME PANTS THERE BEFORE AND THEY DID NOT SAY ANYTHING- ANOTHER TIME I HAD ON A SLEEVELSSS SHIRT AND A MAN LET ME BORROW A COAT SO I LUCKED OUT-THEY HAVE TUREND AWAY PEOPLE WHO HAD THREE YEAR OLD KIDS WITH SHORTS ON--SAID FULL LENGTH PANTS WERE CAPRIS, ETC--I THANK GOD HE IS NO LONGER THERE--I ALWAYS BROUGHT"BACK-UP"CLOTHES JUST IN CASE AND WOULD SUGGEST EVERYONE DO THAT TOO-BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

I saw a woman last week get turned away for not wearing a slip under her dress. You couldn't see through the dress and I would have never known if they hadn't checked. Another woman was turned away for wearing a white shirt - the same color as the inmates wear. Both had driven long distances and left in tears.

Thought I was the only one who carried a back-up set of clothes!!

They are real strict on what you can and cant wear. Ask your loved one to send you a list of what you can wear.Steve&kids

My fiancee is in Federal Prison, as is Denise's. I have seen many people turned away. I have been "hassled" by things I wear to work, business suits! All skirts have a slit so we can sit down properly. They didn't like a slit, even, though the skirt was below my knees, and the slit was only about 1". It is a power play sometimes. I carry my copy of the visiting rules, took them out and asked for a captain. The captain came down and basically berated the person hassling me. He said "she is dressed professionally, this is ridiculous." The guard was a woman, and I discovered later she loves to hassle a lot of people. She received a lot of complaints and got transferred. I can only visit once a month, it is a six hour flight and as I said I always follow the rules, no tank tops, no skirts higher than 2" above the knee. It is important to be appropriate, but also important to stand up and not let some of the guards bully you. It was very demeaning, but I knew I was in the right and was never argumentative, just firm about where the slit went 2" above the knee, which it did not. Just my two cents to sometimes not let them get to you. This last visit the desk had a new guard, who was very pleasant, no hassles!

On one visit, the friend I brought with me almost got turned away because she was wearing an underwire bra and it set off the metal detector. They were going to refuse to let her in even though they knew that is what set it off and they searched her thoroughly with the hand-held wand detector and a thorough pat down..... I know that normally, all I wear is underwire bras... but I have made sure to go out and buy some without wires for when I go to the prison....
I like others always just try to dress conservatively, to try to avoid any hassles by not giving them anything to complain about.... and I too always have some back-up clothes in the car... just in case!!

What truly bothers me, and maybe I should be more patient, are the ones who KNOW what they can wear or not wear but decide to go all out with the jewelry and shoes.

There was this one lady that I was in line with. I had cleared the metal detector and she was the last to go through. She walked through...it went off...she took her shoes off, walked through again...it went off...so she took off the 4 necklaces and rings (on every finger) that were on her hands....walked through...it went off...then they found out it was her pins in her hair...she had to take them out too. Finally she cleared and then we had to wait for her to put it all back on. She's been there before and she knows the rules. ARGH!!! Billy's prison doesn't have a wand to swipe visitors---if you can't pass through the detector, you aren't admitted. That's my peeve...

Denise,
I agree with you on that too! I hate even one minute being taken away from me. Some push the envelope for sure, but some of the guards just like to take away time too, in my humble opinion and perhaps make us feel demeaned.

GUESS PEOPLE WITH AN IRON ROD OR METAL PLATES OR PINS IN THEIR BODY DON'T HAVE A PRAYER...

JDS- I HAD THE UNDERWIRE BRA THING HAPPEN TO ME WHEN HE WAS AT COUNTY JAIL...

KELLI K- I HAVE ALSO HAD THEM QUESTION SOME OF MY BUSINESS SUITS, THINGS I HAVE WORN WHEN SUBPOENAD TO REPRESENT MY AGENCY IN COURT! I TOO ASKED FOR A CAPTAIN AND VOILA, I WAS IN ;)

I was turned away after driving 3 1/2 hours. They said my skorts were too short. I went all the way to the lt. on duty and he was going to make one exception, but the Sgt. kept running her mouth so he let her have her way. I had to find a walmart and buy shorts. The same bitch turned three of us away at the same time. Haven't had a problem since he was moved.

jeez, every bra i own has an underwire in it!!! the other weekend, when i visited my friend in prison, there was a MAN there that was wearing some really dirty looking, chopped off pants that had been "made" into shorts. they were upper-mid-thigh. i thought "gee, i can't believe they let they guy in wearing those!" maybe, since he was a man, it wasn't considered "sexual"??? who knows.....i think that no matter what the rules are, they are not specific enough ~ they need to be more specific...like right now, almost every summer top on the planet is sleeveless, and those sleeveless sweater-thingys are all the rage. they also need to apply across the board ~ to men and women!

Next thing you know we wil be handed a uniform at the door!
EEEWWWW!!!

When I visited Wayne, I didn't have to go through a metal detector - they don't have one at his facility. Got patted down, had to pull my bra out away from my body, with my shirt still covering me and show the female guard the waistband of my panties (to prove I was wearing them) and take my shoes off. Once I got through the dress code, the rest was pretty easy.

There was one lady there with two small boys. Everyone had been patted down except the boys - they had to bring a male guard around to do that and she had to wait with the boys. It took at least 30 minutes for the guard to get there and that time cut into visiting. We only got 75 minutes and they lost 30 of that because no male guard was available.

This is all so sad. I don't understand why they would make it so difficult to have loved ones visit you. Don't they want the family ties to stay strong? I can understand something really offensive and a metal detector, but come on...some of these are so ridiculous!

I haven't had the experience of a visit yet--it seems there are lots of issues that come up. I guess I will find out soon enough--hopefully within the week.

The handbook seems to emphasize the importance of family contact and all of its benefits, yet I find this to be a contradiction. Their actions seem more to create angst--and who benefits?

sigh....
Molly

I HAVE A REAL GOOD ONE FOR YOU.... WHEN BUTCH WAS IN GOLDSBORO, NC, WHICH IS 250 MILES AWAY FROM OUR HOME, MY HUSBAND, WHO IS 62 YEARS OLD WAS TURNED AWAY BECAUSE HE HAD A PAIR OF BERMUDA SHORTS ON. THE SHORTS CAME DOWN TO HIS KNEES AND WERE BLUE JEAN TYPE. HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO GO IN. I CALLED THE SUPERINTENDENT THE NEXT WEEK AND ASKED WHY HE HAD BEEN TO VISIT SO MANY TIMES IN THOSE SAME SHORTS AND WAS TURNED AWAY ON THAT SUNDAY....

IT WAS FIXED THE VERY NEXT WEEK AND NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN.. SO, IT REALLY IS WHO IS ON DUTY AND WHAT THEY THINK THE DRESS CODE SHOULD BE.

DONNA

oh brother! @ donna. that is about the dumbest thing i've heard yet, honey. i swear, some of these guards really enjoy the little bit of "in chargeness" that they get! ps: are they nice knees???? :p

I haven't had a problem YET w/having to change clothes when I visit w/EJ. I did though have to take out 1 pair of earrings (I only have 2 holes in each ear) & 2 of 3 rings that I wear on my hands. Visitors can only have 1 each of jewelry coming in, didn't really get that.
EJ had to go back to his cell & put on his prison issue boots. When he came down they told him he couldn't wear his gym shoes & even yelled at him for it!! He told them that they should have made the visit info. PLAIN in orientation!!
At the tables where we were assigned to sit on 1 seat it had a "V" for visitor & an "I" for inmate across from each other. When I sat down to wait I didn't sit in the "V" seat & the CO told EJ that I had to sit in the "V" seat!! Stupid huh??

It really does depend on who is working, but I don't understand the motivation of the guards who needlessly turn people away. Is it a power trip?

My only experience has been when my Son was in county jail and the 9 months he spent in an alcohol substance abuse facility run by TDC. I've not been to visit since he has been in prison. I always wore clothes that I would have worn to church which at times included sleeveless tops. I guess because they were of a dressier nature and with my age I never had a problem. I've seen others have a problem. A very attractive young woman with several tatoos, one being on her neck and matching her "friend" was turned back. They objected to the tatoos being visible. I had seen her in the same top once before, and it was acceptable. That same day I was in a sleeveless top and not a word was said to me. On another occasion my daughter was with me, she is very attractive and has a figure to die for. The guard on duty that day, a female, sadly, not attractive and a little heavy, made a big issue of my daughter's outfit, blk pants and top. I took it to a higher level and we were passed on in. From that day forward I knew to give the guard a wide berth as it was obvious she was laying for me. I was always sugary sweet in greeting her, it really ticked her off. So sad, too bad.
So, I think it really does depend on who is working the door.

dj: there is "assigned" seating, too, where my friend mj is. the vistation area is the cafeteria ~ the tables are metal with 4 metal "stools" attached. visitors that sit in the first row of tables have to sit with their back to the wall, inmate on outside. the next row, the inmate sits with his back to the other inmate, while the visitor sits across the table. these folks tell me what table to sit at and which side to sit on. heaven forbid, i'm back to back with an inmate!

Aprilcat, I know what you mean!! The prison I originally met EJ in last year in June they were much more lenient w/visits. We could sit side by side (tables are round & have 4 chairs attached to them). He could get up w/me to see what he would like to drink & eat even put the debit card into the machines & pick out exactly what he wanted himself.
The place he is at now, he couldn't do NOTHING but get up to use the restroom in there. Another reason we both can't wait for him to be transferred back among the 10,000 other reasons!!

I almost got turned down twice and been lucky. Once I had on a sleevless shirt but the front of the shirt had strings that tie the front of the shirt together. You can tie it as loose or as tight as you want depending on how 'sexy' you want to feel (cleavage wise). Another instance was my v-neck blouse that showed a little cleavage. i had a jacket that day so I had to keep my jacket on during the entire visit. I was hot! So I been lucky but now I know what's appropiate and what's not.

Here in CA they are very strict on dress code and at the place my honey is if you don't clear the metal detector in 3 tries ... you can not visit for that day. No underwire bras and if your bra has more than 2 hooks in a row in the back it goes off. AAARRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Ever think of wearing a sports bra, NO metal, slip over the head and put them place. I know the gals that race BMX bicycles wear them under there jersey's. In the summer, they pull there jersey's off and they are like the top of a two piece bathing suit, colorfull too. LOL

B Ray
Yes, as a matter of fact I do own stock now in the company cause I have bought plenty since the CO suggested the same as you. Thank you for the info. Actually, I find that I have started walking/a lil jogging ... could it be the sports bra ... naeey ... just trying to get in shape for that long awaited family visit! :fb: :fb: :fb: :fb: :fb: :D :D :D :D

it must be the way i'm built....sportsbras do NOTHING for my figure....they just smash and spread! lol (bray, if you don't get it, don't worry, you may have to be of the female purrsuasion!)

mrs h, i know what you mean about trying to firm up for your loved ones return. when you have something like that to look forward to, it is a real motivator, isn't it??? hope you're doing ok, sweetie.

April, I don't have too have a "female purrsuasion" to form a picture! But, IMHO, there's to much stock put in size and shape (by BOTH sex's)! It's just, some take up more room then others. ~BG~

When the do'n gets a go'n, size/shape ain't got noth'n to do with the excitment at "hand"! ~EG~

LOL BRay.... I am with you though AC.... Sports bras are NOT made for all women.... I think there are some limits as to how much they can contain.... :D And I think I have exceeded that.... It can be quite the challenge to find a bra I would WANT to buy with no underwire... it seems to get to a certain letter (or double letter) in the alphabet and they suddenly have 7 hooks and 4" wide industrial strength elastic... Dang... Gravity ain't working like THAT... yet..... :)

(sorry if that was a little TMI (too much information) for some of you guys.....)

jd's ... and Aprilcat and Bray ...This is true ... very true,,, I never said that the sports bra even worked for me ... they do not do justice ... nothing does without underwire for me. I just want to get to see my love ... so you can just call me


... Smooshed... :(
Ps Jdswifey ... I feel ya on that industrial size ... double digit ... 50 hook ... ect. situation ... believe me.


However, I found a website that has plastic underwire in the Uk. It worked fine till the CO's tweaked the metal detector around the 4th of July now it is super sensitive and I'm wearing the smush and spread sports bra. My honey doesn't seem to even notice though ... which is a great thing! :)

Aprilcat, I am doing much better ... MUCH ... thank you for your sweetness!!!!!

Mrs. H

poor "smooshed" mrs h! lol that's about the silliest thing i have ever heard! jeez, do these facilities not know that boobs are part of the fun of the visit for these guys!??! hehehehehe

B-Ray, I have read many of your post and have to tell you something. You are a wonderful B-Ray of sunshine. I am so grateful that you are here!! ******{hugs}}}}

Thank you Rosebud!

There's times I'm ROTFL when I come off the wall with some of this stuff. Noth'n like laugh'n at your own post!

One of the main reasons I stick around this place, is too see what side of da Ole Goat, ya'll' will trigger next! :-)

LOL @ "b-ray" of sunshine...i think rosebud is onto something there! *hugs*