Very new to this website.... My names Krystal Im needing help with alot! first off how do me and my boyfriend drop a order the county placed on us... We can't see eachother and its killing me! He is in SPOKANE COUNTY JAIL... there was DV involved but I never pressed charges the state did.... HE pleaded guilty to 4 counts DV ..and its tearing are family apart we have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and very much in love.... Im truley dying inside havent seen him in 3 months, and just finaly worrked out the phone line deal so he will be calling soon.... PLEASE HELP ME AND ARE FAMILY STAY STRONG!

Krystal - when you post in this forum, the first question is going to be HAVE YOU GOTTEN COUNSELING?

If you haven't, then start. Then start answering why you should expose kids to that kind of life. It's a harsh question, but when abuse is involved, the kids have to come first.

If you really want to have the order removed, then do a little talking at your local DV center, then write the judge who instituted the order, tell him you've gotten some education on the subject, and then ask him to vacate the order. He may, he may not, but if you've informed yourself a little about the problems with DV he may look more kindly on you.

While you educate your self, take a moment to read the post from others who have been in your shoes. Hello & welcome to PTO :wave:

something obviously took place that the county felt the need to press charges.

i had an aunt beat up on her daughters father in their front yard.
they were both under the influence of alcohol. a neighbor called the cops.
the father didnt want to press charges but the county did anyways.
my aunt spent the night in jail, got anger management classes & now has to pay off fines.

its one way to learn a lesson.

I don't understand why you would want to drop the order and take the chance of him hurting one of your children getting to you? 4 counts is alot of domestic violence thats why I am asking.

Stop and truelly think. Ive grown up watching my mom get abused, then I, then started getting abused from my babies father last. Hes now in jail for 2nd degree battery against me and crualty to an INFANT against OUR daughter!! Obviously in your situation there WAS domestic violence. Please dont think that it will get better, it wont. It ALWAYS gets worse. No matter all the pleading and begging he does, it WILL happen again. If you arent worried about yourself... PLEASE worry about your kids!! Bc i grew up watching my mom get hit, i thought it was normal for my boyfriends at 14 to hit me. Once i had my daughter and the last guy i was with (the baby daddy ) did this to me...i had to go to a battered woman shelter...this is what they told me
" You've been abused your whole life, watched your mom get hit, now you...if YOU dont break the cycle, your daughter will be in abusive relationships as well"
from that minute...i made a vow NEVER to be in one. I NEVER want my daughter to feel the pain i went through. (black eyes, broken noses, unconscience for minutes, rape, ect) DV relationships are serious and go beyond our relationship with the abuser, it goes to our kids...and eventually hitting us gets old and they take it to our kids... PLEASE i BEG you to think about it before u even try n get that dropped!!:mad:

Krystal ,

My daughter is 22 and if someone ever laid a hand on her I'd tell her to leave immediately. But I cant talk I love my abuser too much too.

Yeah my fiancee beat me up and is in jail now for 7 years. Even though I love him I too tried to drop the restraining order but the state wouldnt hear of it and I cant ring him or contact him. But he sneaks letters to me and I to him. I fessed up to the prosecutor and got in trouble for it.

So I decided to send him a Dear john letter today and I posted it quickly so I wouldn't change my mind. This man was the love of my life but I had to let him go today. I am crying so much it hurts me. But I know time will heal all my wounds.

Bravo Steffy, I am so proud of you!!! (and no, it was not too harsh) I know how hard this entire ordeal was on you. You got through it, and now the healing can begin. Luv ya girl!!

Great going, Steffy! Yes, it hurts, but we all know that hurt, and survived it. You will too! Eventually you will be able to stand proud and say "I didn't take it". And smile.

hey i know how you feel. i have a 4 year old and a 5 month old, he has never gotten a chance to hold her i was 7 months preg, you need to go to the court and see what he needs to do and your self to drop the dv have him get in prison dv classes, if you whant to see him i dont think prison would let you go,youll need to send a application to see if you could see him, good luck and keep strong for yourself and your kids,

krystal,my husband also had a state ordered no contact order with me,i was pregnant at the time,i was feeling like you,but i am so thankful they put that there otherwise we would still be together and our now 16month old baby would be going through all the crap my 9 year old did at the time...you can't get it dropped and if you can it sure won't be easy..sometimes the judge makes wise decisions...