The 5 stages of Drunkeness.


Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.


Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.


Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.


Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!


Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

Lmao

That's great!! I love the invisible one!! LOL

Are you sure you haven't been copying pages out of my autobiography? the things you do when yer pished eh? haha

hhaahahaa sounds like a lady at a staff trivia night yesterday... stripped down to her bra shouting she used to be a go go dancer in a cage before becoming a cleaner.... (was that in the 60's???) LOL

Holy Cow Elsa! That is so true (LOL, LOL)! Good thing that doesn't apply to me and my BF anymore!

LMAO.....So true!!!!

I want to add that my BF found this thread today and agrees with this 100 percent.:cool:

I Loved This Sooooo True Lmao

I remember those days. LOL

Hey, I'm remembering those days right now. I started reading this post and thought to myself, this has to be a fellow Brit, looked up to the right at the addy, and low and behold "I'm still smart!" I'm still the best looking one in the room, it seems I'm the only one in the room these days. That was priceless Elsa. I'm going to try and print this as soon as I've posted! Thanks for the laugh!
Wendy

i remember those days so well

Hahaha, went through these stages on St. Patricks Day :)...Irish Car Bombs ftw.

Blushes: I remember those days alllll to well, thankfully no longer...lol

I love all stages! cracking myself up here

OH how many times have I done all that.LOL

I really enjoyed this. Very funny.

There is also that particular stage where you get a rude awakening and haven't the faintest idea why, then discover that your arms and legs will not obey you. Actually, that's a couple of stages beyond Invisible--Comatose probably falls in there somewhere.

If you are allowed to awaken from Comatose of your own accord, you will most likely not remember the night before, apart from a vague sense that you might have done something stupid which you will convince yourself must be imagination until someone else tells you. If you are awakened, especially by someone with a badge, you will remember every painful detail as if it was burned into your brain.

Of course, if you awaken from Comatose by yourself, chances are you will also end up discovering how cool and comfortable the inside of a toilet bowl rim can be when you lay your head against it.

Don't believe it? Well....trust me, you're better off for having not been there.