well m problem is this i love my boyfriend so so so much and we have talked about even getting married once he comes out but i dont know if once he comes out hes gonna hold against me that he was in jail because of me or if a coulpe of months is enough for him to rally have a clear mind and not think of drugs im puting al my trust in him and i have faith in him but i need some advise what should i do ?:o

Has he ever been violent with you before? I would just ask him about it, be honest with him about what you are feeling.... You should be able to tell by the way he reacts to the question.... I know that doesn't help much just be safe

Hello & Welcome!!! :)

Hello, I would like to welcome you and wish you all the best. I grew up in a abusive home and I totally understand how you can love some one who is mean to you. They didn't get that way over nite and most likely your boyfriend grew up in an abusive home so that is probably all he knows. I would say that a few months away is not going to be long enough unless he truly wants help and you will know this. If he is taking all the classes that they offer and he actually wants to get the help than I would say you have a chance otherwise I would probably get out before you get seriously hurt. Now if you believe in what he is saying now with your heart then maybe he is ready to stop the madness, all in all my best wishes and I hope everything works out for you two.

Welcome to pto and God Bless you in everyway!

Welcome! You've posted in the Domestic Violence forum - and dI don't know if you did that deliberately because of your relationship's problems or if it was just the first place you figured out how to post.

If you're worried (and we don't know what your relationship is about or what you did to put him into jail) then you should do some reading (on-line or library or bookstore) on the subject.

A couple of months in nowhere near enough time for him to be clear-headed. And if it's only for a few months that he's there (I'm assuming that he would be in a jail here and not a prison) then there are almost no programs that he can take, though there may be AA or NA meetings. You can't trust any addict for quite a while after they've been clean, because their thinking is so . . . upwhacked. You need to wait at least a year, and if you see any signs at all of a return of his habit or of violence, then you need to be able to emotionally and physically GET OUT!

All that said, I wish you the best of luck!