dontmatter
01-31-2007, 11:40 AM
Don't Fart in Bed
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me
know
and I'll pray for you..................................
This a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The
only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly
every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the
smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it
was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it
was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned
that one
day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one
Thanksgiving
morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound
asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards
and neck
gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came
to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and,
gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had
gotten him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as
she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned
me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out,
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me
know
and I'll pray for you..................................
This a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The
only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly
every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the
smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it
was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it
was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned
that one
day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one
Thanksgiving
morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound
asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards
and neck
gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came
to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and,
gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had
gotten him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as
she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned
me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out,
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."