Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers::) :) :)




WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same story over and over again


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)


WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.