Hi. My name is Amanda and I have 3 beautiful children. Their dad just went to jail Tuesday for domestic violence. I feel horrible for it now, like maybe I overreacted and I guess I just needed a place to talk to other people who have been there. I love my husband and my kids love their dad so now I feel like I have no idea what to do.

Welcome to PTO!

Hello Amanda, welcome to PTO. There is never over reactions when it comes to abusing you.

The only over-reaction was HIS action to abuse you. He could've handled things differently. He never needed to hurt you.

As I stated earlier in a post in the WV forum please don't feel guilty. This has probably saved your life and harm to your children. None of this is you fault. I know how you feel though.

If he threatened or assaulted you, you have nothing at all to feel guilty about. Loving someone does not mean tolorating abuse. If he abused you, he also abused your children, emotionally if not physically and that is also totally unacceptable.
What you do now, assuming this was an isolated event, is insist on his recieving help with anger management and upon his release, do not let him move back into the home without a firm commitment to marriage counselling.
If there has been a pattern of abusive behavior and this is just the first time he's been arrested for it, dump him. If not for your own well being then because you owe your children a safe, violence free home.

I am new to this too! Some words of encouragement: Never second guess, sounds like the guy needs some life lessons on how to treat women/children. (Just my own opinon, mind you) I do speak from personal experience, from a spouse/partner relationship as well as when I was growing up. Children who see violence in the home are always affected. It's not always easy to take action. You always think..well it's not THAT bad...but if you don't like what you are recieving then it's certainly NOT ok, by any means. Well, I guess in short....I understand. It's just so so so very important when kids are involved. Because they cannot always express theirselves emotionally, and can be damaged as well. Just for example-as I have been as well. Recovery has been a long road for me...but I am here to listen, and give advice to anyone in need. Take care!

:) Hello and welcome to PTO :)

Welcome, sweetie! Give yourself some breathing room instead of a dose of the guilts. You now have time to feel what it's like to live without walking on eggshells all the time. You may well find out you like it :-)))

Haven't read your other post (though I will), but I can guarantee you that if you're not talking about having been mad at him for some other reason and just doing a pay-back thing, then you should stick with that gut reaction that the police were needed.

PM me any time!