My cousin is serving LWOP until 2046. It is unlikely that he will ever get a chance in the freeworld again, although I like to pray and "hope'' he does. But I don't know if he hopes for this because maybe it hurts him too much? you know what I mean? Maybe he just wants to accept reality. Or do you think it is good for him to hold on to alittle bit of hope?

In letters to him, I have never mentioned anything onliine the lines of "when you get out" because, like I said, he'll be over 65 years old, it is unlikely. Do you think I should give him encourement to go on for that day, or do you think I should just not bring it up like I have?

In his last letter, I asked him if he stilled smoked this was his reply and this is why I have been wondering:

"No, I don't smoke anymore, do you? I kind of have this "healthnut" thing going on - don't smoke, don't use drugs, don't eat junk food (not too much anyway), exercise daily, eat all my veggies and everything else- not that it's getting me anywhere, just do it for something to do"

Why would he be doing these things if he really didn't "hope" they'd be getting him anywhere, you know? What do ya'll think?

Of course he's doing it because he has hope! You must be fairly young and so is he. I'm nearly 58 years old, and 65 is NOT that old! People live well past 65 in this day and age. And believe me, my age rushes up to meet you. LOL

It depends on the person--------some prefer to just forget the outside world exists till they get closer to their parole coming up because they find that easier. Many who know they'll never get out-----ever------choose to shut the outside world out altogether and just make their life what it can be within the walls. Probably many choose to stay involved with those on the outside right at first for awhile and then quit seeking that contact. But there are as many ways of doing time as there are people doing it, I'm sure. Many who won't ever get out choose to still remain in contact with the outside world and even to marry. People do pursue appeals to the end of that process, too, usually, so during appeals, there's hope for even LWOP. Just go with what he seems to want to live with right now and if he wants to hope, help him hope, by all means.

I have to agree with toi_ama. It seems as if your cousin is keeping his hope alive by being very fit and healthy.. I've noticed this with a lot of guys. They look after their bodies in a way they wouldn't do on the outside. They do it so that they will survive in there and because when they get out, no matter how long it takes, they'll have a good few years of freedom. Hope is all some of them have.

I'm also 57 years old and I know I've got a long time ahead of me yet. All my family live to great ages and if you feel young then you stay young. Your cousin obviously wants to stay young and healthy so. perhaps a little encouragement from you will help him on his way.

Rose

I am (oddly enough for my situation/life) one of those "annoying" people who always finds the BRIGHT side!Cause ya' know there ALWAYS is one!!!;) I would encourage him all you can,none of us really knows what tomorrow brings! I at first worried about my bf's brother he doesn't seem to have ANY hope, he says "They may be letting people out but I doubt they'll ever let any 'lifers' out :( but maybe I'll get out when I have the 20-25yrs in" (then he'll be 36-41) But I said that's ok, I have enough hope for ALL of us!!!:D Bryan and I always talk of "someday" and when he's home it 'works' for us,maybe not for everyone.It may not be how they first imagined it but you can always start over just have to decide what your priorities are and work from there!Best Wishes to you and your cousin :)

Thank all you guys for answering me. I'm happy you guys think he is making these choices because he is holding on to hope, I thought so.

Toi_amo, I know 65 isn't very old but what I meant by it was because of the unheathly environment they live in, it may seem unlikely. You know what I mean, as far as how healthy the food is they eat, poor medical treatment, etc.

Thanks ya'll!

Yes, Saltytear, I do know what you mean about that. There's so much stress they live under and the medical care is so lacking, so you won't find anyone living to be 100 years old in there.

Holding on to Hope or holding on to Life?

Maybe there's a difference there. You can hope to get relieved of your sentence, or you can hope you live long enough to see the day when you may or do get relieved of your sentence.

One thing you can participate in daily is your own health, your own mental or physical 'wellness'... There are enough things within the system and the process and the confines of longterm imprisonment to pick away at your wellness. It's a full time job to hold your ground, and your nuts in your basket. This fellow taking an interest in maintaining himself can only be a good thing,..no matter how it plays out.

Right now in Michigan there's lots of lifers holding on to hope......its being said that the state is looking at lifers who have been in prison for 25+ years and are considering paroling some of them. One should never give up!!!

I'm a "young" 54, my husband won't be home for another 2-3 years. I know we don't have a long "lifetime" of happiness, but you know what..........I'm going to make the best of each and every day we have!!!

mrs. d

I think that sometimes all we have is hope. I see nothing wrong with it, as long as it is not false hope.

Woohoo Well said Mrs D :)

Can I share with you Ronnie's Definition of hope, it is not an empty desire for an outcome, but rather an expectancy of an outcome, you just have to wait patiently for that outcome to become real. Have Faith, God doesn't let anything happen without a reason.

worleysgirl ~ I like that definition of hope. Isn't hope they really have with soooo many years to go........

um, 65 isn't old....there is never not hope.

the only thing that keeps people alive is hope. without it we would all be dead.

I think that on some level you both carry hope that he will be released. Although for some people it is easier not to consciously acknowledge that hope because then you have to consider the possibility of disappointment. He must make a life for himself where he is at. It sounds as if he is doing all the right things. That's important. Even if he takes all the programs available and it doesn't make a bit of difference in terms of his sentence, it makes a great impact in terms of personal fulfillment. I think that talking about coming home changes from day to day. Sometimes they want to think about it, sometimes they don't. Keep the encouragment flowing because you know he will not be hearing that where he is. My son is in very similar circumstances. We try to work on the philosophy of make your life today but remember to lay the groundwork for tomorrow.