mia_5398
12-10-2006, 01:13 AM
Well, I thought I would FINALLY say something :-) I've been "floating" on the forum for a good while, being quite shy, and I see that everyone here is so supportive I now would like to finally say hello!
A little about myself:
My name is Megan, I am 22 from Northern VA. My fiance has been incarcerated since April 2000. His expected release date is September 9, 2007 -- less than a year! :-) We are childhood bestfriends and started dating in May 1998 when I was 13 and he was 15 and we've been together ever since! ( I am 22, he is 24.) It has always been just the two of us, best friends before anything else.
He is a first-time offender, in for a violent crime, but since has never been in trouble while he was incarcerated. I am very proud of him, he has held his head high and has done his time with grace. My fiance went through a traumatic experience leading up to what happened that day, but it doesn't change the fact that he did it. A lot of people make excuses for him, but he is the first to admit his wrong-doing, and I admire that so much. And because of that he has been able to do his time, confront his demons, and heal.
What happened that day was devastating in so many ways, but a lot of good has come from it. We were actually co-defendants because I was there and witnessed what happened ( the DA decided to charge me), but a year later at my trial, the charges were dismissed because it was proven that I had no part. My fiance had confessed the very day it happened, and plead guilty. He plead to Malicious Wounding and using a weapon in the commision of a felony. An innocent person was harmed, but I thank the Lord everyday that this person is okay today, he should have never suffered for any reason.
I thought my world had ended when I heard his sentencing ( 20 years, 12 suspended). I remember thinking, "But you don't know him! He is the most wonderful person, you can't do this!" But the fact is, no matter how good of a person he is, no matter what the ugly things were that happened to him leading up to this, he made a decision that day. I've come to realize this, and accept it. And during that time of realizing the truth, I resented him, hated him, wanted nothing to do with him. Now I satnd by him, because he has proven to me that he is an even better man today than he was then. Of course he was only 17 when it happened, he has chosen to do his time the best way he can. I doubted for the longest time, "Prison is rough, would it turn him into a truly violent person?" No, because we all know that our loved ones are faced with challenges everyday, "fight or flee". He does neither, he stands up for himself and lets others know, but he does it with grace and respect to all. He's pushed to the limit I'm sure everyday, it's got to be hard for a man to live too close for comfort with other men, they are all naturally aggressive. But he chooses to not repeat what happened that day, that is how I know that I was terribly wrong for doubting him. But I guess I had to doubt him in order to realize this.
He has been to a couple of places in VA: Deep Meadow, Augusta (terrible place), and he is now at James River where he will finish his time.
We finally got engaged February 26 of this year ( finally!!). I guess we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We don't have a date set as we're not in a rush to get married, and we want to do it when he is home, adjusted, and when we finally get financially stable. Of course I'd love to do it tomorrow! But he's very serious about doing things the right way, I guess I can live with that... :-)
At the moment we're both extremly nervous about his homecoming, but of course excited at the same time! His anxiety is sky-high as this has been his life the past 6 1/2 years, since he was 17. I'm nervous because I want to make sure I do everything right to help him transition back into the "outside world" as easily and successfully as possible. I can't help but to blame myself if he has a hard time. His biggest worry right now are finances. He wants to be independent, to take care of me, but we both know that I will be the way bringing home the money. He says that it's suppose to be his job to take care of a family, I tell him there are many more ways to do that than financially. I'm worried because I know he will be like a scared puppy coming from the pound and coming into a world unknown to him for so long, coming from an ugly, unfriendly place being scared of everything that moves and on guard for anything that moves around him. I can't even begin to understand what he is going through or might go through when he finally comes home in 8 1/2 months. I've done my research, but it doesn't seem like enough. Unless I've experienced it, I'll never know, and he refuses to share with me what it's like in there, always just wanting to talk about me and what goes on out here.
Any advice on what to expect?
Sorry ladies, I know this is REALLY LONG and thank you all for taking the time to read it. I guess I feel very open with you all because you know first hand on what it is like to have a dear one incarcerated, something I just can't talk about with anyone else, because no one else I know has experienced this.
Thank you ladies, and I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you!!
Megan
A little about myself:
My name is Megan, I am 22 from Northern VA. My fiance has been incarcerated since April 2000. His expected release date is September 9, 2007 -- less than a year! :-) We are childhood bestfriends and started dating in May 1998 when I was 13 and he was 15 and we've been together ever since! ( I am 22, he is 24.) It has always been just the two of us, best friends before anything else.
He is a first-time offender, in for a violent crime, but since has never been in trouble while he was incarcerated. I am very proud of him, he has held his head high and has done his time with grace. My fiance went through a traumatic experience leading up to what happened that day, but it doesn't change the fact that he did it. A lot of people make excuses for him, but he is the first to admit his wrong-doing, and I admire that so much. And because of that he has been able to do his time, confront his demons, and heal.
What happened that day was devastating in so many ways, but a lot of good has come from it. We were actually co-defendants because I was there and witnessed what happened ( the DA decided to charge me), but a year later at my trial, the charges were dismissed because it was proven that I had no part. My fiance had confessed the very day it happened, and plead guilty. He plead to Malicious Wounding and using a weapon in the commision of a felony. An innocent person was harmed, but I thank the Lord everyday that this person is okay today, he should have never suffered for any reason.
I thought my world had ended when I heard his sentencing ( 20 years, 12 suspended). I remember thinking, "But you don't know him! He is the most wonderful person, you can't do this!" But the fact is, no matter how good of a person he is, no matter what the ugly things were that happened to him leading up to this, he made a decision that day. I've come to realize this, and accept it. And during that time of realizing the truth, I resented him, hated him, wanted nothing to do with him. Now I satnd by him, because he has proven to me that he is an even better man today than he was then. Of course he was only 17 when it happened, he has chosen to do his time the best way he can. I doubted for the longest time, "Prison is rough, would it turn him into a truly violent person?" No, because we all know that our loved ones are faced with challenges everyday, "fight or flee". He does neither, he stands up for himself and lets others know, but he does it with grace and respect to all. He's pushed to the limit I'm sure everyday, it's got to be hard for a man to live too close for comfort with other men, they are all naturally aggressive. But he chooses to not repeat what happened that day, that is how I know that I was terribly wrong for doubting him. But I guess I had to doubt him in order to realize this.
He has been to a couple of places in VA: Deep Meadow, Augusta (terrible place), and he is now at James River where he will finish his time.
We finally got engaged February 26 of this year ( finally!!). I guess we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We don't have a date set as we're not in a rush to get married, and we want to do it when he is home, adjusted, and when we finally get financially stable. Of course I'd love to do it tomorrow! But he's very serious about doing things the right way, I guess I can live with that... :-)
At the moment we're both extremly nervous about his homecoming, but of course excited at the same time! His anxiety is sky-high as this has been his life the past 6 1/2 years, since he was 17. I'm nervous because I want to make sure I do everything right to help him transition back into the "outside world" as easily and successfully as possible. I can't help but to blame myself if he has a hard time. His biggest worry right now are finances. He wants to be independent, to take care of me, but we both know that I will be the way bringing home the money. He says that it's suppose to be his job to take care of a family, I tell him there are many more ways to do that than financially. I'm worried because I know he will be like a scared puppy coming from the pound and coming into a world unknown to him for so long, coming from an ugly, unfriendly place being scared of everything that moves and on guard for anything that moves around him. I can't even begin to understand what he is going through or might go through when he finally comes home in 8 1/2 months. I've done my research, but it doesn't seem like enough. Unless I've experienced it, I'll never know, and he refuses to share with me what it's like in there, always just wanting to talk about me and what goes on out here.
Any advice on what to expect?
Sorry ladies, I know this is REALLY LONG and thank you all for taking the time to read it. I guess I feel very open with you all because you know first hand on what it is like to have a dear one incarcerated, something I just can't talk about with anyone else, because no one else I know has experienced this.
Thank you ladies, and I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you!!
Megan