Hi, everybody, I am Patti, known on PTO as "FriscoLady". Tebkrg and I are co-moderators in the Coming Home From Prison - The Road Home Forum.

I have read through Tebkrg's introduction of this forum - he has done a great job of explaining the forum and sub-forums, so I won't add anything to his comments on them.

Except to say that this forum is - as is all others in PTO to give information and support to those involved with the prison systems as either a loved one of an inmate, inmate, or ex-inmate.

I will say this, that the road home from prison is different for everyone, like so much in life. There are many successes - we have seen many of them right here on PTO, and we have seen some setbacks.

My journey from the prison gates to where I am today has not been easy, but I have been blessed with wonderful examples of men and women who did far longer than I and came home with virtually no support, but made a success of their lives.

Do I consider myself a success, I'll tell you in about twenty years, my journey like that of so many others is far from over.

So, for those that come home after us, please, come into this forum and share your journey home from prison, both the successes and the frustrations. For we may have experienced a situation or have the answers others need to stay home.

For those that have questions - please ask them - maybe we can help.

The coffee is on and the fire is warm, so please pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and share with us.

Yours,

Patti

The coffee is on and the fire is warm, so please pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and share with us.

Patti, that is such a warm and comforting statement,.. can I steal it?? I'm pleased to hear that life is in the living and not the destination. My David is up for parole in May of 04 and we've discussed alot of "stickies" so we are as prepared as possible,.. thank you for your openess! My best to Linda!!

Irisheyes,

When I first came home, Teb gave me the Together Forever stickie, Linda and I - through the best and the worst - always and forever.

I am happy that my statement is comforting and warm to you - it is meant for all and with conviction - go right ahead, it's yours.

God Bless you and David and I pray that May 04 comes swiftly for both of you.

Patti

dear patti,
my best to you and linda. you are one remarkable woman. i pray that my sandy and me can survive what is ahead of us. i am going to leave the federal govt at the end of april 2004 and head down to the roanoke, va area to be near her mom. her mom is 73 years old and not in great health, so she could use the help. it will be hard starting out fresh without my sandy with me, but i want to have a nice home established for her to come home to when she gets out. please wish me luck. sandy wants to thank all of you when she gets out. i hope to hear from you all before i leave.

best wishes,
mark
(sandy 313 stands for march 13, 2006, sandy's projected release date)

Dear Mark,

Thank You, I want you to know that I admire you, and all the others who stand by their loved one inside. Linda did not have to stay with me, but she did, she stood tall and firm in her love for me. Though I am sorry for what I did to my family, I am grateful and proud that I am blessed with such loving and caring family and friends.

You are a wonderful and strong spirited man, and I am sure from what I have read and what I know that Sandy has endured that she is a wonderful and strong woman. You can and will survive what is ahead of you, both as a couple and as individuals. The strength of spirit is already there, this I know.

Linda and I wish you the best now and in the future. She will come home and Together you will have a beautiful and bright future.

God Bless You both and your families,

Patti

PS We too hope to hear from you.

Patty, I have been home for 10 years now and I keep doing battle and I am tired. Sooooooo tired. I have a felony on me and no matter what I do I seem to get pushe back down. I got my G.E.D and an ass. degree in social sceince while in prison so I could do bigger and better things once I was home. I have been down so many roads that it isnt funny. I have worked nasty jobs just to build up a good work history and it seems to be for nothing. One mistake shouldnt haunt a person for ever. I was just let go from job I really like because of my felony. It was hard to tell the girls that I took care of for two months that I was leaving. They didnt understand. Yes I told them I had a felony and the story behind it and they said it wouldnt be a problem. I dont know what to do with my-self now. Words cant express what I am feeling. I am scared this time that I dont have the strenght to pick my-self up this time. I was only in trouble one time, 15 years ago and it haunts me still. I have never felt like this before. How do I go on being the strong person I have been for all these years??? It hasnt been easy to maintain a good life for my boys but I have done it. I dont have any more engery left to go down another road. I am glad I found this web site. Thank you for listen to me. I dont mean to sound like Im babbleing.

sparks126

sparks,

Hi, I'm hoping that by the time you read this that you are in a better place, both with employment and especially your spirit.

I do know how tired you are, I just recently came out of a place in life where I was so exhausted of this whole mess that I was afraid that I did not have the strength to move on.

I do know how scared you are, I'm there all the time myself.

The interesting thing about fear is that it does several things to your spirit, at the same time. How you deal with it, however, is up to you.

Fear can wear you down to the point that you feel you no longer have the strength to fight back. I've been there, and it looks like you are now. Or it can give you the motivation to try again one more time. Just as you have in the past and will again.

I see the other folks here on PTO that are struggling to make a life for theirselfs and their loved ones, and frankly somtimes, I am ashamed of myself when I am down, for compared to them I have been so, so, fortunate.

I have seen several people come home lately that are just started the struggle back up from the abyss, that have been knocked down and beaten up by life on the outside, and these are the people that I need to copy, for they do get back up and start again, and again, however, many times it takes to get in life where they want to be.

You, have been at this for ten years, knocked down, get back up and back into the struggle, that I admire. It does not matter why you have done this, but I know it is for your sons. What matters is that you keep trying, don't let anyone think that they have beat you into the ground, and most importantly, don't YOU think that you have been beaten back into the ground.

Unfortunately, yes, your "felony" is going to haunt you, but are you going to let it control you? It is part of your past, and that it is what it is past.

I think that you have to get up one more time, brush yourself off, and start again, and if necessary again.

After all, what alternative do we have? Prison or worse.

Those are not alternatives that are acceptable to me, are they to you? I pray not.

Like so many have said to me, are you going to let the system beat you?

For your sons - get up and get to work looking for another job, or think about creating one for you, where you don't have to worry what the Boss thinks, for you will be the Boss.

Hugs, girl

Patti

PS: I have recently been knocked down one more time since my release, and I'm tired and I am afraid - not of the fact that I don't have the energy to get up one more time and try.

What I fear the most - is failure - that is not an option for me - ever. So, you are not the only one dusting theirselves off at this point in time. We just keep trying. Is that not what life is about anyway?

Thanks Patti for those words od wisdom. I am sorry to hear that you to are dusting yourself off. No, I dont want to ever go back to prison!!!!! That isnt an option for me. I am trying to dig deep inside me and find the courage and strength to pick myself up, dust off and try again but I havent found it yet. I hope and pray that I will. thaks again and best of luck in your trials and tribulations.
sparks126

What I fear the most - is failure - that is not an option for me - ever.Maybe you need to consider this . . .

If failure is *not* an option - something that you WILL *NOT* allow - then you needn't fear it. Because if you don't see it as an option - ever - then you somehow know deep inside that however tired, however weary, however battered you are from fighting to not fail. . . you WON'T.

Because . . . it's not an option.

It's disheartening to be tired, especially when you feel like you've been 'pedaling as fast as you can'. Being tired of "doing battle" (whatever the particular battle 'is'), being scared, not being able to see what the best course is to take, not seeing ANY course to take, not being able to get a 'foothold'. . . those sorts of things will wear anyone down, given in quantity. None of them is synonymous with failure, though.

Sometimes when we're struggling to achieve a goal and are having trouble making any progress, it helps to take a look at the goal and reassess or redirect the goal. There are usually many acceptable ways to reach a goal, but sometimes we limit and focus ourselves on just one way or course of action.

And, it also helps to remember that it usually takes many blows of a hammer before the stonecutter's goal is achieved. . .

Hang in there, everyone.

Hugs to all!