hey everyone. this is haven again. i just have a new name. I am wondering something. as u all know, my fiance butchie is going to prison. he gets sentenced on sept. 18. my dad is now having health problems cause he is so worried about me waiting god knows how long for butchie to get out. so he went to a psychiatrist and the doc told him that he needs to break all ties with butchie, which even means me. the doc told my mom the same thing. she said no. but my dad didn't. now i feel like i have to choose between my family and the man i love. if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Well, you have the right to do whatever you want to do with your own life, assuming you're18 or over. I don't think your dad has the right to expect you to do what he wants, and it sounds to me like he's using his health to try to manipulate you into doing what he wants. I'd follow my heart if I were you. I don't think most psychiatrists would recommend severing family ties in this situation. Especially not having seen your parents just one time. I think it's more likely that the psychiatrist would say that your parents need to back off and let you make your own decisions, but maybe your parents interpret that as meaning breaking all ties with you and your man.

the doc told them to break all ties with butchie. and since i am still tied to him, that means me too. i am just still so confused right now.

shadowangel, one psychiatrist's opinion does not a rule make. Your father (or you) should get a second opinion. We get second opinions when our doctors diagnose a disease that requires surgery don't we? For something as serious as having to excise a family member because they choose to support an incarcerated loved one, I would highly suggest that your family seek a second opinion and that you should be there to present yours and your hunny's side.

I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do. There are options, Allison and you and your family should explore them.

thank you for you reply. i will take it into consideration.

uh, if u love him stay, its your life. ktc

yeah, but its not as easy as that. your man might have the chance to get out. mine won't. i will be bringing him home in a box when i am seventy or so. that is what i have to look forward to. never getting to have kids with him and not being able to hold him everynight.