View Full Version : thank you so much I can finally admit it


udevilish
08-19-2003, 02:57 PM
I am 24 years old I have finally left my abouser after 7 years I have never been able to admit it but after reading part 1-4 I realized alot I see myself in everythingand y6es it is embrassing he never hit me until I was 7m onths pregnamt I was 17 my dad was in prison my mom had lost her mind and the aunt and uncle I was stayiong with he was attempting to slep with me and she beat me so i saw no way out so I stayed thinking well he is stressed because of the baby etc etc I know he is nice he will come back to reality he is so sorry I had never been around domestic violence before so I had noi clue abiut the honeymoon stage etc,etc,so I thought well ok he means it it wil never happen again I was a naive child he was 29 and I was 17 a huge age difference but I had just lost my dad and the guy I left had just held a gun to me and made me marry him and the guy before that was the love of my life and he meant everything to me and he wouldnt listen when I tried to tell him I didnt want to marry him but he blew me off so I went with Kenny my husband now and I stayed and stayed and had 2 other ekids I just admitted to myself over the last monthy that even though kenny didnt hiutt me repeatedly he still hit me whether it was one time or 500 he still did it now I have a permanent frown I am afraid to speak my mind I am worried about whether I am going to make it or not cause I have no money no house etc etc thank you guys for listening to me ramble and thanks menolly for posting the list I hope it helps alot of people that havent found the strength to leave yet and too those that have left and are to the point of going back because it is easier etc, dont please find some weay to stay away dont go back I left and went back 6 times this is my 7th and I made myself stay away and it hasnt been easy it has been the hardest decision I have ever mnade in my life no matter how bad he was he did take care of me and all that jazz but in the end I paid dearly for that I had to deql wqith the name calling hitting put downs, and threats so in the end I would be better off living on the streets than in a house with all I needed I have finally realized I am not alone I thought I was forever the hardest thing to do is admit that you allow yourself to be abused but once you get passed that you can find alot of friends that have been there also but they have been afraid to say anything look around and you will see all kinds of people that will be their for you

toi_ama
08-19-2003, 06:10 PM
Welcome to PTO and congratulations on being strong on getting away from your abuser. I went through many years of abuse, too, and lost everything several times over, but I kept going back. Finally I got help and counselling and I've been out of the abuse for 18 years. It took a lot of years of healing, but it can be done. Just hang in there and don't go back no matter what. My prayers are with you.

~cheenna~
08-19-2003, 06:32 PM
Hi udevilish ... I'm so glad to hear you are safe and on your own now ... it doesn't matter how long it took or how many times you went back for "just one more time" (been there, done that) ... the only thing that counts now is your future and how you handle that ... we're all here to help you anyway we can ... don't know where in OK you are, I'm here in TX, near Tyler(?) ... please PM if there is ANYTHING I can do to help you ...

bobcat
08-20-2003, 08:39 PM
Dear Udevilish,

There is a phone number for women in domestic violence relationships and it is the following; 1-800-799-SAFE. It is called the National Domestic Hotline. They are available 24 hours a day in every state in the United States.
Bobcat

Lucrisid
08-20-2003, 09:38 PM
Udevilish- you will make it!

After years of abuse and leaving and coming back, I finally packed up a couple of things, grabbed my two kids and literally went from riches to rags. It's not easy, but at least you are free. Stay strong and soon you will se the nicer side of life. Enjoy your kids!

Tanya